wOnderland of p!Gs

2006-07-16T16:22:00.000+08:00

Me and Birgit Tante on the Cable Car!

St. Viglio's Apartment House with Birgit Tante and Rainer Onkel's frenz and relatives!!

nice deco! Specialities from the BlackforesT~

Der Roemer! Townhall of Frankfurt!

me at Christmas market!

Christmas WreathS!

Schloss Johannisburg! =)

nice scenery outside SChloss Johannisburg!

2006-07-16T15:29:00.000+08:00

nice maple leaves!

Blackforest cake and Apfelstrudel with Vanilla ice cream!

I was feeding some hungry deer.

A long walk in the woods. Nice snow, great feeling!

KEMPINSKI! The hotel dat Brazil football team stayed last Dec!!!

Frankfurt after first snowfall! =) I was walking around on my own!

me and Birgit Tante at Ammersee Cafe!

me and my mom! On Nikolaus Tag at Rothenburg!=)

This is me sitting on real snow in Germany, Lindenhof! Snow really looks like marshmellow ah...=)

2006-06-27T19:23:00.000+08:00

siGhs. Common tests have arrived in a flash. =( Maths was quite ok but i dont think i will score. GP, as usual, HA HA HA. If i pass, i will be happy. Had BIo paper today. man, it was quite an easy paper, as compared to the past few ones.. BUT i was so confused with the facts when i was doing the paper! =( man, im so depressed now. I SWEAR im going all out to MEMORIZE everything HARD enough for A levels. Tmr is chem paper. well, i can never finish studying chem la.. plus i am having a reallly realllly bad shoulder ache now, ever since i woke up in the morning. =(((

SO now, i cannot focus on studying chem. bleahs. HOW? Im going to fail again. sighs. But i think i am just treating this Ct v. lightly, cos it is more important to learn and then do A levels papers.

siGhs. im v. sad now. just got to know a bad news. man, another heart wrenching news i could say. =( It totally made me feel even worse now. Just have got to cherish the lil time I have got left for him.

2006-06-11T11:56:00.000+08:00

OK. I am back to blog after about 3 months. =/ It seems that I am too lazy to blog, although many interesting events unfolded within these few months.

So now it is the June holidays! I think it is more of a torturing school holiday(as usual),since we have to study hard for the forthcoming exams after school reopens. booooooo.... =(( Well, can't wait for A levels to end in a way, so that all of us can finally be freed from such a heavy burden!!!!! =))

I have sort of stepped down from touch rugby, since I am not in the team to play in the com. Some people start questioning me, on what if I have no achievement at all in my cca, won't it be a bit not so good? I guess that's what some people are thinking lar. haha. but the thing is, I don't really mind. Joining Sports cCa in Jc is to test my perserverance and to make myself a more determined person. I have never really thought of taking part in the com, since I know I am not performing well enough. It will be really stressful too. =/ Let me recall the times I had when i was touch. When i first entered touch, i was already sure that i want to remain in this cca. Though some of the seniors are fierce and a bit crude with their words at times, esp during trainings, that did not stop me from going for trainings. Yes, trainings have always been tough. fartleks itself was already a pressure exerted on me everytime i went for trainings. In case you don't know what is fartleks, it refers to 1oo m sprint, 1oom jog. That is really tiring and I think everytime i did that, it really almost made my heart beat soooo erratically until i feel like my heart was going to stop suddenly. haha.. At times, coach is fierce too. It is understandable, since I am sure she wants the best for our team. Although she is fierce and strict during trainings, she is a really funky person when she is not on the field coaching us. =) I am glad to know her as my coach as she has really guided us really well and we all like her. =) the main factor that has made me stay in touch all along is due to our closely-knitted team. =) I simply love everyone in this team, especially everyone is so nice and caring. k lar.. i am always being laughed at and bullied but I definitely do not hate this feeling. It just shows how much my team mates care about me( I Hope.=))haha. Everytime when we ran fartleks, everyone would cheer on each other and make sure that everyone will finish running the rounds. I am the black sheep la, since I am always the last to come in. It seems that I have the highest perseverance level among the people who have quitted yea.. cos the people who quitted could not take fartleks and all the other nitty gritty stuffs. Indeed, I am always the last to come in for fartleks, but I think it is a strength too. I always try not to give up during the run, cos I really feel like fainting or I am having terrible stitches. =/ It is hard to continue running with my best. But i am glad i finish running it most of the time, though i feel terriby guilty too, for pulling down the team's standard.

Sometimes I really wonder, why dint i choose a cca that will enable me to get some achievement that will not be so physically challenging.. Sometimes, i have regretted joining a Sports cca, as I am not up to it. guess it is hard to really train up stamina and be more agile within less than 2 years. If i have joined a performing arts group, i would have been able to perform on stage and to take part in competitions. HOWEVER, i would not have been able to make really good frenz. Joining touch Nj has not only taught me to be a more determined person, but has also given me a bunch of great great frenz. They are the ones who have always been there for me whenever I am feeling down or wad. When i was in choir back in NHSS, i din really feel the bond attached to choir. but now, it seems that i have an inclination to want to spend more time with my team mates. It is really hard to describe but it is just as simple as it is i guess. I sincerely hope that we can do well for the oncoming com in July. =) go nj touCh ruggers!=))

shall blog a bit on Mons gathering on Friday. =) It was disappointing to see that so many ppl backed on at the last minute and that only about 15 people attended that gathering. However, i thought it was quite a fun one too, with all the photo taking and talking and playing. On that day itself, i met up with fel on bus 960 before heading to Bugis. haha. I must say Fel was really unlucky that day, but i shall not elaborate on that. We took neoprints! haha. And we did a bit of shopping and yay, fel got what she has been wanting to get! =) So thanks to SoMEBODY's mouth, it rained almost the whole day. yucks lar.. totally dampened my spirit to really enjoy myself.The weather was sooo super humid after that larrr.. =( So irritating!!! But well, i managed to enjoy myself in a way lar.. so i should not complain too much. Everyone looks almost the same in my opinion. =) We should relieve the good old times we have in 4/3 again after As! The feeling is still as comfortable but its quite saddening to know that our class is not as united as before. =(

k.. I shall go and do some revision now! World Cup is here!!! Go Germany!!! haha... But if Brazil is playing against germany, I will support Brazil. hahahah... But the Germans are really good with their footwork. =) great skills, great play! hehe.

2006-03-17T09:50:00.000+08:00

siGhs. COMMON TESTS ARE COMING. arGHS... Common tests, as its name suggests, shud be a test for COMMONERS, therefore, NJ should set papers that people like me can deal with! ARGHS. =( SiGhs. HOW. i think i will need to drop a subject. sighs. The min. criteria is easy yet hard to reach! ARGHS. HOWWWW!~ Somebody pls save me! Im stuck!=(((((((((

2006-03-09T14:10:00.000+08:00

Am i suffering from depression? sigh. How I wish I am freed from all the awful thoughts. I am so worried over my Common tests, especially when I am on probation. Have I lost my ability of studying? MAybe I have become a useless person. I used to be able to cope relatively well but now, my work load seems to be filled to the brim. I find problems even breathing properly and I no longer find life interesting. What I feel is, my life has plummeted into a dark valley where I can only experience the darkness... Where is my sunlight, i am really searching for it. All the while, I feel as though i am groping my way through the darkness to find a way out, so that my life will be filled with bountiful of sunshine again. JC life is definitely not easy to endure. It may be fun-filled but at the same time, for ppl like me, it is really difficult to cope with even 4 subjects. I really miss my sec sch days. It was so carefree then, with not much stress overwhelming me. I know that I should be positive towards life but it's really hard for me to do so now. My body has faltered to such an extent that i really feel v. restless everyday. I feel that whatever energy i had has disappeared. I feel that I am avoiding the world. For now, I am just like a naked mole who hides away from the world, living in a world of darkness. yes, i do feel v. naked, as I think im void of feelings now. Where is my identity? Where is my soul? I really want to know the root of my problem. I suddenly feel that my future is bleak with no success. Yar, I alweez ask myself. What achievements have i attained? The answer is none. I try my best to be cheerful and smiley but i guess its now nth but a facade. Its a false front to hide my tears deep beneath me. I feel v. sad for myself. I told myself at the beginning of jC, that i will become a great person. But look at me now... what a joke.

I just hope to become a useful person who has the brain to at least do things right. But i seem to be alweez screwing up things. Teachers show me dissatisfaction, even when I have tried my best in everything i do. I really hope for a better life.

I feel so super guilty for always feeling sick too. I have been having backaches, headaches, migraine etc. The moment I start running, i feel the pain in my left foot and right knee. I really don't know what is going on. Is it normal? Sometimes i really wonder how come some people can do it. At least ppl whom I know are all at least good in some area. But me? I am just an empty nutshell.

2006-02-26T15:59:00.000+08:00

School life has really been super hectic and i feel totally like a beeeeee. sighs. School work just keeps piling up, even though when i do it consistently. You must be wondering why... well, i also wonder WHY. The simple thing is, teachers are vicious creatures who want to send us all to hell. haha..k lar.. SOME.. not all.. But my German teacher is definitely one of the most extreme ones you can ever find! =/ I am dying from the amount of stress im having now. =( It's overbearing! boo! It's like carrying one whole bag of stones to school everyday... and going home with even more stones.What a sad life i have man.=(

k... well, i still feel v. depressed, even when i work a lot harder this year.. and i really try to work smart too. I still fail my tests and I am really totally discouraged by HER. She really makes me want to cry at times. Oh.. I did cry on Fri. =( I just don't understand why SHE cant treat us at least a bit better. Does she really detest us, or what? I really feel that a teacher should always be v. caring and encouraging. I know she wants to drill us as hard as possible but i think its really too much for me to take. For many a times during lessons, i could feel that my heart almost stopped beating for a moment or so.. if not, i get super jittery about it. =((( It's ABSOLUTELY bad for health, but what can i do? I feel like penning a letter to her, asking her for opinons like whether my ****** is really that bad a standard. I really put in my utmost effort in almsot everything i do, at least from this year onwards. If it is really the case, maybe the subject that i will drop is THAT, cos it really takes up damn a lot of time in my tight schedule. =( I mean, i enjoy learning THAT but it is really painstaking nowadays. Why is education getting so hard nowadays?? grrr. Im pissed.

Oh well, talking about things on the EVEN duller side of life, I feel really sorry for the Africans kids who contracted AIDS. sighs. they are SO young and they definitely have a really different childhood from us. Imagine this.. like a few years later u are born, u are being sent to some centre or hospital to receive treatment ( if possible) with some other strangers. Everyday just lie on the bed to wait for volunteers to attend to you, gulping down any medicine u are being offered. I bet they don't even know wad is AIDS. What i feel is, they think that its a norm to get AIDS as many other kids and adults over there are HIV positive too. It is really an example of a vicious cycle. It cant really be prevented and it's definitely robbing ppl's of their lives. After watching Shi Jie Yi Zhou, i suddenly feel that I want to become a missionary doctor. I mean.. I alweez wanted to be one... but now, the urge seems stronger. Light up the passion! well, guess i ll commit myself to that after I have reached an age of about 45. hehe. Must accomplish smth simpler in life first, before venturing out for the bigger ones!

mm.. just wanne say jia you to myself and everyone! heh. Life has not been easy at all since the start of JC life... man.. i still cannot believe that i GOT tricked by ppl who said that JC life is the MOST FUN-FILLED one... goSh... what a Hypothesis/Myth. =.=.... I think these two years will be my most unbearable years of all!!!! =(( k lar.. not becox I dun have good frenz here but the workload in Nj is simply 'fascinating'. Just hope dat i dun die flat so soon... arghss. and yar... i tore one of my ligaments completely.. boo... Went for physio with some ruggers on fri... went for a massage for my left ankle.. GOSH>>> i was SCREAMING and SQUEALING and SCREECHING... SO painful!!! omg... =((

2006-01-30T16:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! hMm.. woa.. it has been like almost two months ever since i BLOGGED!!! *gaspp*
k lar... School has been really hectic since the start of the year! Woa. In a wink of an eye, a month is almost coming to an end! Gosh. 1o more dreadful months to the big big As! omg lar. Time really flew past. I still remember vividly the time when I first stepped into Nan Hua. haha. I was still a kid. I was still so innocent and immature at that time. haha. Okie.. Im STILL an innocent lil girl.. haha.. jsut that i have def grown out of that lil nut shell i used to be in. Jc1 passed by like a bullet train. Everything just came into an end while I was still groping my way through the realm of darkness. Yea... indeed, last yr was quite a tormentful one. Well, i din struggle through any natural disaster or wad.. but the 'catastrophes' that I went through were normal and yet, v. distressing to me. But I am glad i pulled through and managed to find my way out of the thick and dark clouds. It was not easy at all. yea.. there is alweez a silver lining among the dark clouds. How true is tat? I really wonder. Well, I just hope this year will be v. smooth sailing for me and of course, everyone! Trainings have been tough. I surely get muscle aches the next day after every training. I don't really think im becoming fitter. haha. Instead, im jsut exhausting myself to the core almost everyday. Im drained totally... and it is only Jan! =/ I must hold on to my faith, i know i have to. I don't believe in any God or wad not.. I really totally depend on my own lil faith. I have struggled through all these years with my lil faith.. im sure my lil faith still lives. I know that this year is gonna be a tough one too.. and perhaps, the toughest of all i have been through. But after tat, Im sure i will get to see the rainbow and the sun! =)

bTw.. I went back to NH on fri... it was a great feeling talking to the some teachers. Really... NH is so windy lar!! not like NJ.. SO hOT and STUffy! =/ hahax. I talked to Mrs Chang for quite a while... She is still so nice and frenly!! She asked how was I and whether I have oredi left behind tat past. Yea.. Im sure i have done it! Ya... I did pine for him sometimes in the course of last yr.. but now.. im sure im totally ok with it. Ya. he has got himself a new gf since dnnoe how mnany months ago.. I felt so cheated. I cried. i complained. I whined. My eyes went swollen so many times becos of him. I was foolish I think. haha. V.V.V. foolish. but now thinking about it, after the abrupt end to the relationship, I really learnt a lot. Cherish whatever that is ahead of u! Never look back at the bad past! I suddenly felt that being in a relationship was a bad choice. I missed out many things I guess... that left me in subtle regrets for life. But well.. Im sure I wont repeat the same mistakes again. It is toooooo costly.

So now... my 2oo6 resolution is to make everyone around me a happy person, and of course, to do well academically to make whoever who is concern about me Proud! Im sure I can do it=)) Jia you!

2005-12-06T04:05:00.000+08:00

kiex. Im now at my mom's retired boss's house. Just had dinner yea.. great and cosy one. gosh... shud loOk at the dining table man. it is soooo pretty and nicely decorated!! Sehr schoen, oder? I am really full now and i feel really groggy. Have been trying different wine everyday and today i just drank one whole glass of orange juice with champagne. Dinner was really a lot this evening. haha. Too much for me arh.. now i have a big belly. lOlsx.. We had appetizers, salad, lasagne and vanilla ice cream in some cheery sauce. reallly reallly reallllllllyyy full. Ytd went to Rothenburg. nice medival town. =)) It is a town tat still showcases buildings and architectual structures from the middle ages. Well preserved yea. The small lil village still has got a big old wall that actually served as protection from the enemies during the war. We had a lot to walk yea. hahaX. Well, the day before we stayed at home most of the time. My mom's boss and his wife bought a christmas tree that costs only 12€!! It's a really good deal yea...the tree is really bushy! hahax. So we helped to decorate the tree with the glass balls and lightings. =)) warm feeling yea.. my very first time decorating a REAL christmas tree yea.. haha. There are many nice flowers here that symbolise christmas.. like mistletoe.. and mistletoe is actually not the red round thingy with green leaves, but yellowish white balls with green leaves! okIe.. I din know about this.

siGhx. Im having fun and loads of slp everyday. A really wonderful way to rejuvenate myself before school starts next yr.. BUT... I tink im DEAD. haha. Many math questions dunnoe how to do oredi!!! aRGHSS.. esp VECTORS..!! Tuition plS! hahax... and i tink i really need to buck up a lot for chem. =((( I havent really touched on it. BRR... sad arhX. =((( pray for me man. toking about praying, i went to the church on sat night to listen to the choir sing. It's called 'The Singing Christmas tree' and the ppl actually formed a christmas tree with many lightings. Really nice and I was really indulging myself in the world of music then. haha. I am longing to sing in the choir AGAIN. Miss the times i had with nh choir. bOo. I like the type of sound when all the different parts of the choir mix together, really make me feel like Im floating in the air. yea. So one of the songs they sang made me teared. thought of my grandmother. i miss my grandpa! Wonder how is he doing now. Miss going to the wet market with him. =((

has anyone watched the movie 'The Green Mile' before?? man.. it was kinda antagonizing for me to sit for half of the movie. I mean, the plot is great but it evoked many thoughts outta me. I started to feel kinda pessimistic about life. this movie is kinda complicated but in a simple manner, it is about a prison guard's life and how did he get to know a guy with some sort of supernatural power. well, wanne know more jsut ask me. haha. lazy to elaborate further. There were some really gruesome parts i mean, thats why timid me dint dare to sit thru for the whole movie. =\ Just make sure tat u alweex uphold justice and do not break the law! There is alweex regret after every sin done.

No more german sausages for me! hahax. Im scared of eating them now. Luckily i din put on weight. phEw. hahax. I need Singapore food!! hahahx.. Its not so cold now, quite cooling. There are some snow in certain parts still but i hope it wont snow much during our tour. Christmas is coming... ! Frohes Fest! =)) Hope to see everyone soon!! Anyone going to count down party?? heh.

P.S. To Small: Sure! hha... I think I would have got to know germany a lot better by den! hahax.

To Fel: lOls.. haha- I will buy chocs for everyone. Dont worry. hahax. Want Haribo??

2005-12-02T17:50:00.000+08:00

this is the snowman my mom and i created!! hahax. cute snow man yea??
hehe. these are some photos that i took in germany! Finally using my mom's lap top to update my bloggie.

2005-12-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

hey ppl! Right now im in Germany already! yay! hMMm. well well well... Weather has been really cold here arh. Sometimes its really freezing cold and my skin is cracking. =.= lazy to apply cream everyday. haha. hehe. This is such a long vacation for me. =) Germany has been really great yea!! It started to snow on the second day we arrived. Nice heavy snow. So much like a fairy tale story. =) On the first day we arrived, my mom and i toured arnd Frankurt a. M.. It is a really nice city. So cool. This yr we are really lucky. Cox it is now the transition from autumn to winter arh. We can still see nice coloured trees in the park! red, orange, yellow maple leaves. So cool. I collected some when i was walking in the park. lOls. We combed the whole of christmas market too! Weihnachtsmarkt rocks!! So beautiful and we could really feel the festive mood. The light decors are far more better den wad is done in Singapore. There are REAL and really gigantic christmas trees! All nicely decorated. Such breath-taking scenes man. So for the next three days, i toured arnd Frankfurt city on my own. quite a great experience cox i could actually apply my german! hehe... So everything here is so german, I really hope my german will improve!!

ya.. so we tried a lot of food and drinks arh. We ate Kartoffelnpuffer ( a type of fried potato thingy), Bratwurst with bread, some really sweet stuffs like marzipan, Fritten( also a type of potato, like fries like tat), Klepper, and loads of pastry stuffs. hmM. german food are either TOO salty or TOO sweet. haha.. Not really to my liking but I still enjoy myself quite a lot! I drank some wine too. I tried apple wine( Apfelwein) and Glühwein. It is a must to try these two i tink, esp during Christmas period. haha.. the wines are served hot and the apple wine that i tried came in a really big glass. Almost fainted. haha. Cox i dont like to drink too much wine. So i jsut took two small sips and my mom finished up everything. wahahah.. Im still a small little kiddo lar.. I dont know how to appreciate wine. lolx. I will post some pictures soon? haha. let's say if i have internet access. hmm.

well well well... During the first weekend we were here, we went over to my mom's big boss's house to stay for two nights. hehe. We went to some old towns like Taunus, Rheingau.. And we went driving along the River Main. =))) Really beauTiful!! Its like, along the river, u could see a whole stretch of nice houses and CASTLES!! So many... see until i got so confused. lOlx. The life there is like so idllyic. Time passes really slow in winter i think. haha. We went to some monestary at Eberbach. Its called Eberbach Kloster. really nice.. cox its half covered with snow. den we went to look at some ancient wine making machines and all the barrels that are used to keep wine. A totally new experience! X) We also went into the woods to walk for about an hour or so. The air is so damn fresh but it was icy cold. brr... haha.. it was a nice feeling to walk in the woods cox it was covered with snow. hahas. oh ya, i tink we were at a place call Kempinski. it is a resort i tink. Took some nice photos there! I really wish i live here. So nice. It is also a chance for me to really brush up my german language!! hohoh.. Four more weeks to go!!

so after tat i came to my host family house to stay for a few days. heh.. Silke's mom bot me arnd some towns like Ashaffenburg and Odenwald. We went to Castle Johannis. really nice castle. The luxury life of a king.. gosh. arh.. will post pictures on it too. haha. Too intricate for me to talk about. loLs. I love the markets there!! So cuTe one. Many diff types of vege. Some are really weird loOking til it seems as though they are inedible! lols. Silke's mom brought me to a horse ranch. It is call George Maschalani training stable. It is owned by this guy who came from Siberia i tink? arhs! Forgot le. haha.. I really travel until i luan. =\ haha. kk. He is one of the best western horse riders in the world and this ranch is REALLY bIg. Lucky horses. He has got 80 horses there now and still counting. haha. on the way down the hilly roads, we went to Wildpark to feed some deers. k. there are many deers.. About 40 to 50 i think. they are so cute lar.. but i tink they are poor things man..the winter is so so cold and they have to wait for ppl to feed them. =( but nevertheless, i had fun feeding them!! hehe..

I had a big piece of blackforest cake for lunch on one of the days. It is SUPER big. haha. i tink everything here is super big lar. lOlx. the blackforest cake dat i ate had so much rum in the cream i tink. I ate till i felt really slpy. lOls. I really fell asleep in the car after tat. haha. alamak. I really don know wad im blogging about. Too many things to blog about le!! I have taken about 500 photos. haha. my mom's laptop is bursting soon. sigHx. but i tink i will jsut have a horrible death after i reach singapore. HMWK not yet done. REVISION!!!! aRGHSs... tat s the bad part about this hoL i tink. humPfs. shall blOg more when i have the time. haha.. wanted to write a diary everyday but i was too lazy. I miss Singapore and everyone and the FOOD! lOls.. hhaha... gonna gorge myself to death after i reach Singapore! Who wants to join me??? hahaha...

P.S. The cars here can really speed without limits on the roads. Haha.. poor me suffering from car sick everyday. I rather walk. haha..

2005-11-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

yay! Today Im flying off le! haha.. flight is at 11pm. wahaha.. can distant myself from my bro and my yucky sister. FINALLY. stuPId sister. cannot stand her lar... =X She tAlks like she is older den me. stupid gal. hUmpFs!

Ytd was so fun lar. Me and fel went to eat Seoul Garden! walked a lot aRh.. haha... v. sway aRh.. Wanted to go to marina sq's Seoul garden to eat de.. den under renovation. So in the end walked all the way back to ciTyhall mRt station and went to BugiS instead. haha.. so we ate Seoul garden! So cool lar.. onLi two ppl. haha.. We ate lOAds of meat and vege! =)) hoho.. and we were talKing.. gossiping i mean. hahazx... =PP

We went to take neoprints! v. nice lar! We got like eternity to decorate the photos we chose. so nice. haha.. =))

k. So finally my long break is here. woa. My luggage is like overweight le.. =( I have got an extra bagpack and a sling bag. =.= i LOok totally like an idiOt lar. haha.. sling bag.. guess wad's inside! haha... WORKSHEETS AND NOTES and CHem tys! ... haha... I gonna study at least two hrs everyday when im there! haha. nJ muggeeeeerrrr! hOhoho. no lar.. How can i not touch my sch work for the next one and a half month?? haha. I will just suffer from a 'natural death' after i come back. =XXX Now feeling super nervous and scared arh... scared of the cold weather. It is already below ZERO degrees celcius!! omG lar. it was onli 6 degrees celcius last week k.. Now its like -5. =.=goSh... i tink i will be frozen to death lar. haha..

yay! Germany, here i come! finally i can go there arh..Remember i could actually go to Germany in sec three one lor.. den stupid SARS came.. den the whOle immersion prog was CANCELLED k.. i was SO sad lar.. i even cried a bit. haha... hoho.. this time i go.. i must really exp many many things man. heheh... i gonna improve my GERMAN. I must be a PRO after i come back. if not.. next yr i sure dIE. haha.. damn stressfuL arh.. must speak a lot of German when im there! and of coz... must go bUy TONNES of chocolates back too!! hehehe... so fun! Hope it will snow a few times when im there!

Christmas is coming!! Since i wont be in Singapore still.. I shall wish everyone happY x"mAS first! =)) haPPY X'mas!! Hope all of u will have a joyous time celebrating it! Its my fav. festival actually.. so warm and sweet and nice. Im a reindeerrr!! haha... Wanted to write christmas cards like i alweez do every yr... bUden.. this yr really no time to write.. =(( But i will send postcaRds back? haha... shUd be lar.. unless i laZy. =P HapPy hAPpy Christmas! haha. IM oredi in the christmas mOod man. oh yar.. my pHone is auto-roaming now. heh.. So anything jsut msg me? But i will onLI reply via emaiL! hha.. coz its really ex for me to reply. dont worry... send msg from Singapore to me is FREE. hehe. Guess i will miss everyone? heh... So lONg lar.. will miss going out and having fun with my dear frenz! Take care everyone!!!Touch rUGgers... Have fun training! I will miss trainings! haha.. I will do crunches and puSh upS when im there! hahaz.. im oFF! =) c ya next yr 2oo6!!

2005-10-23T12:47:00.001+08:00

Time for a really lOng entry! beware.. Dun get bOred to deaTh. =P

arghs... firstly, I must mention that I haven't been feeling good these few days... All becoz of my promo results and smth else.. ( cant mention the smth else) I m kinda disappointed in myself coz I know i have already tried my best and yet I still need to drop a subject. SigHz. Bad yr i guess. ( lOls.. pushing the blame again... =P) Okie... I was really sad lar.. i cried like twice. but its all over! there is nth to do except getting moving and start a better chapter NEXT yr... ( i hOpe so.. )STUPID CHEM! I swear Im going to conquer you by the end of this coming lOng holiday! Persevere, persevere... PERSEVERE!

But i must say that I changed a lot this yr. as in, now im much more concious of wads happening arnd me and Im putting in effort to make everyone happy! I feel a sense of satisfication when I make someone happy, especially someone like my grandpa and mom. =)) they rock my life. I mean, they are the people who are really important in my life. Without them, I would not have been ME today. I really like my grandpa. WHy? firstly, i tink he really she ji wei ren and he is so loving towards everyone! I heard of his childhood stories before and I really admire him a lot a lot a lot... Hope i will grow up to be like him... he is still hale and hearty, hope that he will have many years to enjoy his life. im glad that everything is fine now... =) If not, my heart will really stop functioning man. Im not v. happy that he din get into the nomination for the Best Senior Citizen of the year.. but o well, nvm, next yr shall try again... teehee.. He is really worth the award bUt he will alweez be the best senior citizen in my heart. =))god bless him.

I was feeling really down these few days as i feel that i disappoint everyone who knows me. sighz. horrible results. If only im smarter... arghss.. I just suddenly felt that my future is bleak, like everything is charred. =( people may think tat im sad becoz my parents scolded me or wad.. they din... I jsut felt tat i disappointed them SO many times this yr. =( Maybe its fate that I have to drop a subject. Hope its a blessing in disguise. now tat my planned future is kinda ruined, i shall start to tink of which other routes can I embark on.. i really dun want to be a useless person.. =(

oh yah.. ytd had touch oasis at SRC. We din do as badly as we expected ourselves too... so it wasn't that bad. haha.. lOls.. we had a lot of fun teasing coacH lor! lOls.. So sHUang! heee.. no lar.. just kidding.. haha.. but coach is really GOOD man.. in touch rugby.. omg lar.. the moment she entered the field, she tried! my idol man! So coOl lar! So fasT! so swift!

oKie.. so i was at padang from morning till bout three. So u can imagine how sun burnt i am AGAIN. arghs. But i did apply sunblOck k. so after we went to Thai Express.. hmm.. I ate some tom yam seafood glass noodles.. not bad lar.. but i have tasted better ones before. hehZ... at the end of it... yuqi dared me to eat a spoonful of those type of cut chilli. so yucky lar.. it was taken from a bowl of 'dunnoe' wad' mixture of soup lOr.. so disgusting lar! =(( After much delay, i din eat lar... though ANGELA and 'accomplice' are so intimidating.... and telling me tat they will treat me seven scoops of yamI yoghurt if i dared. =,=... and small said she'd supply me with ONE whole yr of dessert.. lOls... So in the end, yuqi said dat if i drank up fel's green curry, she will buy me a scoop of yami. Angela said she will buy me a scoop too... so i DRANK. cant believe it laR... oMg... haha... it tasted tooo salty.... =// for me lar.. but not at spicy lar.. jsut tat the coconut milk smell quite strong... and its really concentrated. lOls... I almsot finished the whole thing lar.. den small finished up the last few mouthfuls... =.=... den yuqi angela said tat it is not counted... bOo~ EEYEr... there goes my TWO scoops of yAMi! aRghs. hahaz... hope i dun get any stomach working disorder.. lOls...

2005-10-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

2005-10-23T12:22:00.000+08:00

Time for a really lOng entry! beware.. Dun get bOred to deaTh. =P

arghs... firstly, I must mention that I haven't been feeling good these few days... All becoz of my promo results and smth else.. ( cant mention the smth else) I m kinda disappointed in myself coz I know i have already tried my best and yet I still need to drop a subject. SigHz. Bad yr i guess. ( lOls.. pushing the blame again... =P) Okie... I was really sad lar.. i cried like twice. but its all over! there is nth to do except getting moving and start a better chapter NEXT yr... ( i hOpe so.. )STUPID CHEM! I swear Im going to conquer you by the end of this coming lOng holiday! Persevere, persevere... PERSEVERE!

But i must say that I changed a lot this yr. as in, now im much more concious of wads happening arnd me and Im putting in effort to make everyone happy! I feel a sense of satisfication when I make someone happy, especially someone like my grandpa and mom. =)) they rock my life. I mean, they are the people who are really important in my life. Without them, I would not have been ME today. I really like my grandpa. WHy? firstly, i tink he really she ji wei ren and he is so loving towards everyone! I heard of his childhood stories before and I really admire him a lot a lot a lot... Hope i will grow up to be like him... he is still hale and hearty, hope that he will have many years to enjoy his life. im glad that everything is fine now... =) If not, my heart will really stop functioning man. Im not v. happy that he din get into the nomination for the Best Senior Citizen of the year.. but o well, nvm, next yr shall try again... teehee.. He is really worth the award bUt he will alweez be the best senior citizen in my heart. =))god bless him.

I was feeling really down these few days as i feel that i disappoint everyone who knows me. sighz. horrible results. If only im smarter... arghss.. I just suddenly felt that my future is bleak, like everything is charred. =( people may think tat im sad becoz my parents scolded me or wad.. they din... I jsut felt tat i disappointed them SO many times this yr. =( Maybe its fate that I have to drop a subject. Hope its a blessing in disguise. now tat my planned future is kinda ruined, i shall start thinking on wad i can do in the future. haha.. which route should i venture... i wonder... hmm...

oh ya.. ytd we had touch rug oasis at SRC. okIe lar.. we played better den we expected to so i guess its okie even if we din win anything. =) and yar.. sun burnt once again. arghs. damn horrible. den guess wad.. after went to Thai express to have our super late lunch at bout 4? ha. I ate tom yam seafood glass noodles... not bad lar.. the soup is nice.. but i have tasted better ones before. hee.. oH ya... some of the ruggers who went forced me to eat a spoOnfuL of chILLi from a bOwl of 'dunnoe-wad' soUp. they mixed everything togehter lar! so disgusting lor! OMg... small was saying she will supply me wiht one whole yr of dessert if i ate that spoonful of stuffs.. =.=.. and yuqi, angela said tat they will buy me SEVEN scoops of Yami yoghurt... =.=... I dun realyl believe lor.. they alweez bluff me de.. so in the end i din eat.. after much delay. lOlS.. den yuqi asked me to drink up fel's curry.. hM.. Quite a lot lOr! so concentrated somemore.. oMg lar.. I drank SO MUCH lar.. den left a bit... small finsihed up... =.=... den my two scoops of Yami yoghurt flew away... BOo! kNew it lOr.. they alweez cheat me de. HAHA... they even directed the bill to ME lar. 82 BUCKS lar... ...omg lar.. after drinking SO mcuh CURRY... my mouth was like... exploding.. and felt DAMN hot lar.. like burning like tat.. haha... imagine being put in an oven.. yah.. tats how it feels like. lols. horrible hor? swear i will distand myself from curry for at least a month. HAHA.. phobiA liao.. oh yah.. the curry is GREEN in colour somemore. haha... ( bet u guys must be... OMG too) hahaz..

aiya.. tired oredi.. today woKe up at 615 to go market with my grandpa... shall go take a rest now... falling sick .. aRGhss..

2005-10-13T20:03:00.000+08:00

I shOuld stop sighing! uRGhs. Sighing all day long wont help to ease any problem! UrghS...

got diarrhea this morning
din go for training
uRgh
feel so bAd
sigh
missed out so many things again
python? omg
new move man
I m lost
joan
wake up n jia you
siGh
i feel so stupid lar. I know i shud not worry about my results but its just so frustrating. I really REALLY feel like dying. I want to escape from this hectic life. Not only hectic but also stressfuL life. sighS.I want to get promoted with 4 suBs... pls tell me tat i will get promoted with four subs... siGhzz.. Onli then can I focus on other things in my life... sIGhzz.. i hate promOs... I am beginning to hate majoR exams. Am i becoming really stupid? can't think anymoRe?

2005-10-10T19:52:00.000+08:00

uRghX. I feel sick.. =((( sighzxx.. is my end coming soon...? hMMm.. fear is engulfing me!!! heLp! =//

2005-10-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

haha.. stupid angela wants me to bLog. so here am I... blOgging.. =.=.... hM.. so wad happened ytd? HAHA... ruggers had steambOat together!=)))))))) happy happy! loLs. it was so fun lar. lIke one big family having dinner together in a cosy living space.. =) the gathering was great! AS USUAL... poOr me was being shOOt at so many times again. lols.. its alweez like tat. HAHA... but nvm... add spices into my life yea. haha... oKie.. so we ate.. and ate.. and ate.. very healthy i can say. hahA.. and yuqi was like saying... give joan da whole plate of vege.. she lOVes vege.. =.- lols. FINE! HAHAH.. i conquer the WORLD of VEGE! lOlS. haha. damn funny lar.. den after dinner... we all sat down to watch x files. lOls. WOAH.. before tat ... ANGELA, ong, hui yi, wy, fel.. they were playing some card game.. bridge i tink.. OMG.. ANGELA arH.. your laughter dAMn scarY lar! lOLSS. So loUd! haha.. like thunder laR! hahahas.. learn to control lar! lOlss... scare all the small kids out there arh. hahazx... haha... o ya.. thanKs to wei Wei... i kNocked my head against the chair like TWICE. =.=... lame sia. haha.. kk.. so we sat down and watched tV. lOls. the first time in dunnoe how many months i sat down to watch a channel eight show at nine. lols. it was kinda interesting thOugh. ahahah.. everyone was really enjoying themselves man... but its so heart warming to have everyone sitted together watching the show. =))) great great feeling! YEA! hAHAHA... =)))) hAHA... den after tat .. we plAyed zong ji mi ma. HAHA... oMg.. somebody mixed the sparkling juice, coke, soUp , the ingrediants together lar.. PLUS chILLI sauce.. yUCks. chilLi sauce is YUCKS man.. oMg. haah... it lOoks kinda disgusting when the thing is being mixed lar..BUT lucky me never get any chance to drink and eat tat yucky 'flUid'. lols.. hahah.. it was really fun lar.. HAHA... aiYa.. ytd was really fun. lOls.. fun + fun + fUn! oh yah.. jing and hui's cookies are SUPER DUPER FUNKERLICIOUS TASTY lar! haha... so nICe! oMG... haHAhaha... eat everyday also wont be sick of tat taste lar! lols. Im so happy dat our team is so bonded.. =)) everyone gets along well with each other.. nobody ostracises anyone.. ( okIe.. maybe everyone shoOt me MOST of the times.. But.. haha.. that is not being ostracised i guess.) lOls.. haha.. hard to find a team dat bonds really well lar. haha... so after tat a few of us stayed over at yuqi s house. haha.. fun ... BUT.. i was like.. half asleep oreid.. =.- haha.. damn tired lar... den we played caRd games... watched some boring korean movie... den hmm... talked? hahaZX... yah lor.. guess everyone was really tired le.. hahaz.. so five of us... yuqi, ANGELA, qiying, small and i squeezed and slpt togehter in yuqi's room. HAHA.. cosy yea. loLs.. but kinda cold lar. hahZ... well..... aiya.. tmr den i continue to blOg.. damn tired oreid.. HAHAHA,....

2005-10-05T09:39:00.000+08:00

hMm. thOugh my promos soRt of ended oredi.. I was still brooding over my chem paper for a night. but today.. guess im feeling better oredi. Well well well... St, i tink u are right. results aren't everything. =) act i feel so too.. one juX has to be happy with wadever one does. Wad matters is tat one's life is fulfilling enough before it ends. Somebody may die earlier den others.. but if tat person has got a great life before, im sure the person wont die with any regrets. Often, I guess many people died with regrets. They never get to go to the places they want to go.. they never get to bask in the warmth of love.. they never get to achieve their goals in life.. Well... i guess wad i really need now is a long break before any mugging starts again. jC life. HA. act not really lar... Im glad that I went to nJ. Really... heartfelt thanks to that something that made me choose nJ instead of staying in aC. I have got great teachers like Mr lOw Kwee Peng, Miss Chua etc... For my math teacher, I wanne thank him for being patient enough with me... I think I am a big bUlk to teach lar... I am really slow at catching concepts.. haha... To mR Adrian Low, though you are a really weird teacher with unpredictable temper, having mood swings at times, but I am glad that u have been my math teacher for this yr.. I guess you are a good teacher in a way. =) Not to forget, I am REALLLLLYY glad to have a bUNch of great pals in nJ. Its really from the bottom of my heart. I really had a whole lot of fun training with you guys.... my dear rugger mates! =)) though sometimes its kinda frustrating on the field... Im glad tat all of us pulled through everyting together. You gUys really cared a lot for me. I really feel damn heartwarming. Im glad that whenever I m feeling down, there are alweez ppl like you standing with me. To my class... frankly speaking, at first i thot tat our class is kinda boring... and there are like not much activities going on. I thot tat almost everyone is a mugger.. oKie... well.. guess we all jsut have to mug in Jc. Almsot thruout the whole two yrs. But I can say confidently that this class is not as bad as i have thought. Everyone is special in his or her own way... Everyone can be fun to be with too. I am thankful for all the lame jOkes the three guys in our class cracked. haha.. though they are not really funny at times, they managed to keep us awake during lessonss... hohoho. s7A is a small class, in fact, i think its the smallest one in nJ.. bUt everyone in this class is smart ( except me) lOls. Really... they are All really smart... Really feel like kowtowing to them man.. hahaz... hMm.. If i get retained, I wont forget all the memories we all had together... Even if i get retained, let it be, i won't complain or moan, i will just be a retainee who will show the world that even a retainee can get really good results at A levels. Now im beginning to admire retainees. As in.. imagine.. the obstacles they have to overcome when they have to face different faces for another yr in jC life.. while their frenz who are oredi j2s are going to graduate soon. Who will want to have this feeling? But i guess sometimes, no matter how hard a person works, the person may not sow as much. Tats wad i have learnt from all these yrs. Life gets so stressed up till ppl like us even forget when is Children's day. I only realised it when I saw my siblings watching some tv programms on Children's day special. ha. it has been quite a bad yr for me i guess.. just tat this yr... i faced so many ups and downs. It has been a torment to go thru everything. Life is just like a rollercoaster... buT i never liked to be on a rollercoaster. its thrilling in a way.. but sometimes, it jsut makes one feel droggy and wad not.

I agree with this fact that ppl like us do miss out a lot in life. Ppl like us yearn for everything in the world. We want the newest mp3, we want to eat nice food.. etc etc etc.. the list goes on and on. maybe its just another generalisation.. but don't u tink tat it portraits this society? We are often so overcome by materialism, till we forget that the simplest things in life can make one happy. Look at children who are HIV positive, they are suffering everyday and yet they are really happy when they have something to eat or play with. it can be a simple chocolate that make them happy. it can be just a simple doll. They are contented. In the midst of struggling to live for the 'tomorrow' they all want, they are still happy. Perhaps their idea of Utopian is really very different. when they see people visiting them, there is only one word tat can describe them. happy! yep. being happy is the best i guess.. nTh can pUt one down if one wants to be a happy person. Life is too short to worry away. We should all cherish every moment in life. Memories are meant to be kept close to the heart and not to be forgotten. =)) Be happy everyone! Im trying my best to ba happy too!

2005-10-04T17:32:00.000+08:00

promos is almost over. left with german essay paper. siGhz. so far.. i screwed up everything. ha. history repeated itself again. sIghz. There is a hiGh chance that i will get retained. =( I just feel that nJ papers are SO hard to scoRe. not to say score.. its a matter of fail or pass. =( sighz. to thInk i woRked so much.. and going to library to mug during breaks and sometimes even during lunch. sighz. o well... if i am meant to be promoted... i will be promoted.. if not.. just let it ba. Life is getting so stressful now. the pace is so fast to catch up. =( Many times i teared. Silent cries within me. I am totally digusted by myself, honestly speaking. wHy can't i thInk properly during exams? Its not the first time i sit for major exams.. but why? Did i become more stupid? Maybe... i am sure my memory is betraying me. siGhzx. my hOpes are all kinda dashed oredi. =(( this morning.. i was thinking to myself.. if i really REALLY get retained... how will the next batch of j1s think of me? thoUghts just kept on streaming in during assembly. i almost broke down during assmebly. imagine u urself standing in the midst of crowd that u have no idea who they are.. and imagine studying with ppl who are younger den u by a yr... sighzz.. tat s a torment to go thru.... sIghZ. how about my frenz? i will surely miss them... A LOT. how about next yr's graduation nITe? I wanne have fun with my ruggers mates! I wanne see everyone dressing up to their best! sIghz.. guess all this won't come true anymore. everything is gone. uRghs. =( but again.. I really think tat the world is coming to an end. There are hurricanes hitting countries causing so many casualties... there are bomB succiders spreading across the world.. bombing so many cities. Now there is dengue in singapore, avian flu becoming pandemic.. URgh.. so much so much! sometimes i really wonder... WHEN will the world come to an end.. it seems so cloSe.. we should all just enjoy the life we want to have and stop putting certificate as the first priority. Guess this is Singapore's society. wad will u do before the day comes to an end? ha... if i know tat its nearing.. i wont give a damn to promos at all... for sure. =) Promos... is jsut an exam tat test u whether u are SMART enough to be an nJcian or not.. hA. nTh else. it doesn make anyone happy. well well well.. good luck to thoSe who are still in the midst of exams...

2005-10-02T09:46:00.000+08:00

Good luck to everyone for pRomos! hOpe everyone gets promoted! =) sIGHZ. i Hope i get promoted.. uRgh...... PLSSS.. i BEg yOU.. let me get promoted.. I woRked really hard oredi.. til the extent of dYing... PLSSS....

2005-09-19T20:10:00.001+08:00

siGhz. PromOS is comiNg. siGhz. Hope i do well.. bOo.. hOpe i can finish my revision on time... ARGHS. goinG mad! =(

2005-09-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

siGhz. PromOS is comiNg. siGhz. Hope i do well.. bOo.. hOpe i can finish my revision on time... ARGHS. goinG mad! =(

2005-09-02T21:01:00.000+08:00

I knew something bad is going to happen after I cried in the LT today. I teared as I really feel for mr KoH. the soNg he composed.. reflected on how muCh he loved his mOM.. and of coz, shOwing us the agony boTh him and his mom went thru. He had to suffer stinging pain everytime he sweat.. and he had to endure the pain his heart was suffering when he saw his mom go away from him...

When I was watching tV in the evening, the sad news came. I was shoCked that my grandma passed away in her sleep. At that moment of time, I did not know how to feel. I did not feel really sad at first.. but instead I felt it was a relief for her.. She has finally found a way out to avoid suffering further. Besides, she has long lost all her senses. She could not feel anymore.. she could not talk anymore.. she could not see clearly anymore.. and she could no longer gulp anything down her throat. of coz... her hearing worsened too. It was kinda frustrating for my grandpa coz he alweez had to repeat himself so many many times.. each time getting louder and louder.. so as to make sure she gets what he was trying to say. everytime i visit her.. she seemed indifferent to what's going on surrounding her. But deep under, I know her body is stiffening in apprehension. It has been such a tough fight for her..Everytime i talked to her, her face contorted grotesquely. I knew she could no longer exercise her body muscles and nerves.. so she would either nod or shake her head. even so.. she did not have much energy to do so.

The moment I rushed back to my grandpa house.. I walked straight into her room..Tears just welled up in my eyes and tears started to wet my cheeks. Soon, my bottom lip curled and I cried even harder... I juz could not purge my tears. I felt that I could not catch my breathe and I even had to gasp for air. I was totally smashed. It was as though my heart was being trampled on so many many times.. the more i lOOked at her.. the mORe i could not controL myself. It seemed tat my body was wracked with convulsions of grief... Fond memories started to flood my mind. She was the one who brought me up ever since i was a baby. Only when I was 12 yrs old den I started to live with my parents. I remembered her as a grandma who really treated me like Im a treasure . I was the most adored by my grandparents amongst the others. I really lOve the photos i toOk with them when i was a kid. They really bring back a flow of wonderful memories.

I looked at my grandpa. At first I din dare to lOok straight into his eyes.. I was afraid to see his swollen eyes. But in the end..i did. He cried too and you could see pearls of tears rolling down his cheek. he is trying his best to hide the dejected feeling and trying to put up a strong front.. but everyone knows that deep down, his heart is wincing with pain. The more i stayed in the room, the harder i cried.. the harder it was to control my emotions. I stared at my grandma with a blanket over her for a long time. I just could not take myself to believe that she is oredi announced dead. Her death was so sudden... and yet so natural. All of us were guessing that she held on thus far as she wanted to wait until their 44th anniversary is over.. and all along she could not bear to leave as she really depended a lot on my grandpa. finally.. she let go.

I lOOked at her face for the last time.. I just could not stop crying. It seemed as though my tear glands lost their control too. I carassed her hair for the last time.. and wished her peace in the other world.

2005-08-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

hEe... woAh.. these few days really tiring but it has been really fun and totally enticing!=) hM. well... well... We went to have some bbQ plus pot luck gathering at my german senior(Pin Jie)'s house. hehZ. her house is really sweet-lOOking and lOoks really cosy. den the next day.. we went to nDp at padang! wOAh. its really really nice. My first time there too. loLSs.. went to the rehearsal when i was pri. 5? loLSs.. The fireworks really roCk man. Will be posting many many photos here! hEe... shAll keep this short. den the next day.. went to sentosa.. loLSs.. kana sunburnt AGAIN. goSh. shoulders DAMN painfuL. hahahaZ..

2005-08-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

woAh! So my german guest is here oredi! So hAppy! No lONger lONely at night now! yAY! =))) Sehr froehlich, oder? haha. Ich habe jeden Tag Deutsch gesprach, um mit meiner Gast moeglich zu verbinden. OOpS. hAHa.. Din realise Im typing german. LOLss.. arghss.. now its like.. im so SO used to taLKing german and using german almost the whole day, till I use german to converse with my frenz. lOLs... =D Its really fun to have someone overseas to come to stay for about two weeks.

hEe.. My german guest comes from Germany. Her name is Hanna and she is much more taller den me! haha.. i know.. im shORt. loLSs... well well well... woAh.. this few days beginning to be damn busy man. goSh. rushing here and there everyday ever since tuesday morning. wokE up at 5 and tidied up myself and went to airport with wei ting to fetch her! =) den after tat i had to bring her home to put her luggage before we went to school for some briefing and meeting. loLs.. for the rest of the day.. the germans toOK the Hip On bus and went to tour arnd Singapore. aFter tat they went to the Botanical garden. I really pity them man... Such a long flight.. bOUt 11.5 hrs for them? Suffering from jet lag and fatigue, yet still must do the touring stuffs.

yEap. next day.. we went to school together! so cool yea? hEe... it was a lONG LONG day again.. hahaZ>. woAh.. Im physically tired man! loLsss... really RUSh hOur man. =P hAha.. .Speaking german most of the time kills my brain cells man. lOls. yeah.. so they attended some lessons with us! den after tat .. we went to the german rOOm for a presentation by the IP students. hehZ. it was a lONg one.. but quite interesting? HAHA. all of us got to EAT some nICe stuffs... and Me bernie and wei ting got this puTu thingy on our forehead and we got the bangles too!! weahahaha... so happy.. loLss.. den we had the CCA tour thingy arranged by my wonderful german senior Shu Bei. We act managed to WATCH all the wonderful dances tat belong to NJ! hAha.. so nice! hehZX.. den we toOK loAds of nice nice photos! =)))

kKk.. den today.. bernie and I went to the Symposium thingy.. we bRought our guests along too! hahahZ.. luCKily they never make us pay! loLSss.. the lUnch and tea breaks were great k. lOlss... tat was like.. my breakfast, lunch plus dinner! hahazX..
really rEALLY fulllll...

woah... the tok by the speakers was.. hM. kinda boring?? hahaz.. So many ppl asked SO many irrelevant qns! lOlss.. Dont even understand their qns lOr! loLSss.. so complicated! hahazX.. yeah.. den after tat.. bernie and I brought them to ChinatoWn! hEe.. after the seminar of coz.! so we missed sch for one day! =) den we walked quite a bit.. and the germans bot some really nice stuffs.. =) happy for them! HAhaZ.. kKk.. i onli tOOK a few mins to complete writing this entry. loLSs.. ruShing for time! hEHez...

2005-07-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

I made a bIg decisiOn yesterday when I brought up the EDB scholarshiP to my mom during breakfast. I have decided to go for the scholarshIp after A levels(if I do well) and I will moSt probably be heading towards Germany to study for a few years and after tat, a 5-year bond with EDB. I think its not a bad idea. I get to be on a scholarshiP that will not onlY prevent my mom's pocket from being buRnt a bIg hoLe buT also I get to stUDy the subjeCt that I am whoLLy passionate abOUt. I have loNg wanted to study in the mEdicine fiEld and wanted to be a docTor who wears whITe robes and having the stethoscope arnd the neck.. bUt upon deepest thouGhts.. I think its really a toUGh fight to get into that field, esp when there are many many talents and smarties out there... Will I ever get a place? NO.. i guess. AFter so many years of working towards my ambition tat seems so far-fetched, I think its tiMe for me to divert my attention to something that is far more practical. I don't think I will have the time to study so many years and if I really want to make it bIg as a doctor.. I need to have not only motivation but also the courage to face liFe. Why so? If I choose to become a doctor who works in a hospital where I will face the different aspects of life, it will be kind of interesting but at the same time, lamenting. Why so again? I am a really sensitive and sentimental person and being so, I don't think I can work in an environment where you see patients who suffer from chronic illnesses struggling to live everyday. that is so heartwrenching and pains the heart of all.

Im really glad that I did not give up on German, which is my third language. It has been a tough rouTe to struggle with, since I had to attend lessons twice a week for four straight years during seC liFe. Reaching home at 8 plus twice a week has been really tiring, not forgeting I had a CCA, Choir, to commit too. RushiNg from clementi to bIshan and rushIng home from bIshan to hOme was really exhaustive to the mind. Many a times, life got so hectic that I was really going to fall off the cliff. Remember there was once when I hid under my bed and cried... telling my moM that I din want to continue studying German anymoRe. ( tat was the beginning of sec two I tink) My choir practices and German lessons clashed and I din want to have a transfer to another class that meant separation of me from wei ting and eileen and my other frenz in sec 1 class. I was really feelIng vEry tired of all those 'gruelling' hours in school and yet after that, I have to go for lessons at bIShan. hA. still rem vaguely that there was only a day when i was free after sch in sec 2. bUt i Guess all these yrs of struggling with this language have been kind of worthwhiLe? Determination and perseverance really plAy a bIg role in everything I realise. So yeah.. at the end of the day... I hOpe i can really master German and hoPe i will be ablE to get the scholarshIp and go germany to study for my degree. It will be a painfuL decision to make since I will definitely miss home and my frenZ of coz. bUt.. i dont think Im left with many choices? hahaZ. just have to give up certain thiNgs for my goal in lIFe i guess.

2005-07-20T21:20:00.000+08:00

2005-07-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

nan hUa dinner was great and fun! hAd fun!!=))) toOK a lot a lot of photos! hEhz.. wanted to add MORE photos de.. den like cannot leh. NVm lar.. hahaZ.. I will upload more in the next entry soon!!=)

2005-07-04T12:27:00.000+08:00

Aren't these pictures simply sweet and sensational? =)

2005-07-03T11:37:00.000+08:00

muahahahahahA! It was a great day yesterday!! yay! Met up with yy, sw, yh and ym ytd at sOMerset mrt! aCt wanted to watch Initial D at Cineplex but CineplEx doesn offer chinese movies! arghs.. so went to Lido instead. hahaZX... lOls. on the way to Lido... SW found out that there are free cans of whiTe tea being given away! lOls.. so all of us went to take a can each and walked on to Lido. It tastes kinda nice and refreshing at first but when u try sipping every drop of it, you will feel a bit tired of that taste. DaTs wat yy thinks so to! But nevertheless.. free drinks to quench my thirst! Singapore is way too humid and the sweltering hot weather can just simply make me feel suffocating.. =// hahaz.. too exaggerating. lols. And yeah.. we bOt the 3p.m. tickets for Initial D. hhohoho.. den we went to have lunch. hEe.. wanted to have lunch at DOME ( yy's Fa Guo Lang Jiu DOM) LOls.. hahahZ.. but it was under renovation. but its a good thing coz i tink its expensive to eat there! hEe.. so in end, I ate long johN new spicY lemon fish! That tasted quite nice. =) haha.. den the five of us were sitting there... chatting and eating at the same time. Its really a wonderful feeling to meet up with old frenz! ( actually.. frenz are never categorized into categories on whether they are old or new.. bUt... hahaZ>. its easier to bring across the idea) hahazx. it was kinda the first time that I go out with the four of them! It was really nice I think! We seem to be so close! hahazX. its good.. isn't it? Thot we will not be able to hang out ever since me and yy become singles again... bUt.. the Frenship is alweez there, never fades away!woah.. ytD den i Found out tat SW is actually.. so bLur! omg.. hahaz.. really had good laughs throughout the whole day! thanZ to her blurness!!1 hahhzx... ( shall not mention her blurness here.. hahaZ.. privacy! heEe... )

Initial D is damn nice! MUST WATCH! I actually went gaga over Edison Chen during the movie.. u caN act hear pPl shrilling and 'whining' on how cuTe edison and jay chou are during the movie! hahaz..the movie was cuTE and funny lar... laughed like mad many times. hahazx..

den we went to watch the 6 year old drummer perform by the street! he is so cute!! and talented of cox! hahahz.. so cute lor! eyes big big de.. hee.. it really requires a lotyt of courage to perform at orchard road ... esp when u are so young and the audience is never ending!

yeap. Den we ended the day taking nP at the Heeren. it was fun... lOls.. they made me wear coconut shells. hahahahaz.. lOls.. ;P fun fun fun! =))

2005-07-01T11:25:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahaahhaZX. coMmon tesTs are finaLLy over! lOls. act mine ended pretty fast on Tuesday.. but i lazy to blog la. Tat explains why Im blogging like three days after the 'beautiful ending' of my common tests. ARghs. Wad can i comment after having sitted for the papers in Nj? The papers are indeed 'magnificently' set and they greatly created an impact in me, impressed upon me that I have to work a zillion times harder for the pRomos..O.o arghs. The chem paper was awfully difficult man! OMg. This is the first time I tink Chemistry is like Physics to me.. lOls.. Dunnoe how to apply the things I learnt. HAHAHA. And the mCq paper was a KILLER shARk! arghs. I had to race with a timeframe of 30 mins to complete a set of 2o stuPid analytic questions. goSH. Everything jsut relapse into a tiKam scenario la.. as much as I would like to thiNk further for almost every qn. =/ its really hard. siGhzx. Just hOpe for a pass like 45 for chEmistry. (hOpeless dudette trying to cling onto the thiN ray of light that she obviously cant becoz she is too heavy!) lOls

mAths. sIghz. another headache la! the paper was kiLLer too! it is like ripPing off flesh from poOr me! goSh goSh. So many parts and questions to attempt! And every question is so tedious! HOW TO DO WELL?? or even have decent passing grade.. HAIZ. so sad. =( must practise mORE man.

oKie. Ytd i went shOpping at far east plaZa! hahaahZ.. boT a few apparels and of coz.. my all time favourite! EARRINGS!!! hahahz.. I wanted to buy necklaces too.. BUT... There are like SO many to BUY!?!? How to BUy?!? lOls.. so have to thInk carefullY first.. heheheh. i bot a peacock feather earring! HAHAH. its damn bIg and gorgeous! loLs. . so happy! shalalalalalA!BUT.. there was one thing that PISSED ME OFF LIKE NEVER B4! aRghs. this stuPid sHOp by the name of 'Weart' or "wearart' .. wadever it is called, PLS dun eveRY pATronise that shOp again. The sales women there are damn crude and horrible! They are prejudiced against students and of coz FAT PPL LIKE ME! ARgg... U can never knOw how horrible can they resort to when they want to force you to buy their apparels. AFter i tried on two tops.. that i obviously tink they dont suit me, i returned them to one of the saleswomen in that shop. The next thing she said to me..it goes like this.. '' Honestly, ppl like you will find it difficult to buy clothes from any other shops as you are fat. '' I was lIke.. puFfing mad oredi lOR! ..... Am i like.. really TAT fat?!?!? till there is like.. almsot NOTHinG that i can fit in?!?!!? oMg. i was jsut so angry and walked out of the shop with my fren wei wei and both of us swear that we will NEVER patronize the shop again. She was also very pissed. haha.. coz they kept saying that students like us like to foOl arnd in shOps, like trying on new shirts or wadever jsut for the fun of it. =.= ( well... we really had smth in mind to buy lor.. ) baH! heck them! haha. anywayz.. wei wei and I had fun shOpping yTd. lOls. HEe..

2005-06-24T10:29:00.000+08:00

Is the windmiLL nice? I am considered quite an ardent lover of windmill I guess. haha. Everytime I pass by Holland V, I will just lOok at the windmiLL and I will spring into great rapture and eyes will start beaming with joY. I don't know why I like to lOok at windmiLLs so much but I just think it gives me a sense of tranquility. =)) Woah. Cannot imagine if I were to go Holland for a tour. haha. I bet I will be takiNg piCtures wiTH every windmiLL i see by the road.

Well well well... I think there is a great change in me! I used to hate reading newspaper but now, I absolutely love it! Why the big change then? hMm.. I think that reading the newspapers or magazines like TIME, Newsweek, readers' digest really helps me gain knowledge more widely and to knOw the world better. Sometimes it may be boring to read some long and wordy articles and one may start whining how boring it is but I guess it all starts like this. You have to endure reading something that you don't really like at first and progress from there. Its all in the mind I guess.The gem is for you to uncover!

I am sure many people around our age don't really read the newspapers or whatsoever. They find it a bore and a chore to do so. I will agree with you if I am still lamenting over how difficult it is to sit down for an hour or more to read something. Sometimes some articles are really interest provoking and I really take great joy in reading them! You get to know what is going on in the scientific field and you get to know more about different countries. This makes me feel much more connected to the world. Sometimes, I feel that reading up helps to lighten up things, e.g., making one feel less forlorn. learn to enjoy reading! It helps a lot!=))

oh yah. I have learnt how to overcome obstacles that appear on my path. =)) I have to continue with my life and move on with the world. I prefer walking than to stand at the same place forever. Indeed, its a paradox that standing is more tiring than walking buT if you were to wait at the same place for something that will never happen, it wears out the heart. Continue walking will definitely allow me to gain more. I was drowning in my own inner world but now, I have struggled for a new life for myself! It roCks big time! Memories will never recede and they will keep on coming back into my life but I guess its all inevitable. Just have to take it and walk on. I am sure I will be able to find the goLden pot at the end of the rainbOw. I will find my rightful happiness that belongs to me in the future. =))

2005-06-20T10:52:00.000+08:00

I have been reading other people's blog these few days. I mean, blOgs that are kind of recogniZed and noted for their boldness or uniqueness. What should I say then... hmMm.. I think I learnt more about the society in Singapore. haha. I read a blog on a girl who is filthy rich. really really THAT freaking riCh. hEr family has got 7 cars and her hOuse is gigantic? haha. Her life is really near to perfection I guess.. She has got a cuTe and caring and loVing boyfriend and she gets whatever she wants. Can you imagine?? One can spend so muCh money like $1, 400 on a handbaG?? gOSh. I will never do that. haha. I don't reaLLy like to have such an extravagant liFe. For me, I just want to have a happy life that I can live and enjoy myself to MY fullest. My fullest would mean being able to travel around the world when I can, achieving something great and satisfactory in my life, bringing a comfortable life to my family and to builD a loving familY wiTh my future HubBy. That s all I guess. I won't need branded goODs from Chanel or whatever to bring 'life' into my life. They juSt don't attract me. lOLs. I just feel that her blOg tells me that the gap between the poor and rich in Singapore is still as wide. While people are struggling for their every day life, trying to get a hOme of their own, people like her and her family are splurging like craZy. Sometimes I really wonder, a chiLd who gets whatever he or she wants since young is really spoiLt. Once spoiLt, its hard to turn back. HMmmm. no offence.

MoneY is really a bIG factoR in thiS world. If you don't have it, you won't get the enjoyment. Is this the cruel truth? Personally, i think money do play quite a biG rOle to make things woRk out but on the other hand, I feel that when moNey don't play a part in our lives, it may make things better? Look at the past achievers. Some are not even rich but actually really poor but they really had a liFe of their own! They created impacts to the world and had uncountable achievements! I think its more awesome in this way, better than playing with the money factor.

lOok at Saudi Arabia. Its a paradox that in some region, while people are so damn wealthy, indulging in the realm of endless flow of cash, some are actually 'fighting' with endless poverty to liVe like a homosapien.

I don't deny that I don't like shopping, since shopping requires moNEy to be spent. haha. Normally, I will just window shop first and really thInk carefully before I buy anything. The feeling really sucks if you discover that you bot the wrong things. Money is really hard to earn. ReallY . We must save when we can and use it wisely.

2005-06-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today has been quite a boring day for me. haha. These few days I have been planning for my trip to Germany this dEc hols.. woAh.. plan till i headache man. =(( Germany so bIg!! The moment I see the map, I just feel like sleeping forever. haha.. lOls.

O well.. i mISs toUCh rug trainings! woAh. i actually mISs the gruelling days under the scorching hot sun !!anD of Coz, i miss the touCh ruggers, especially yuqi, qi ying, small, wei wei, jing yi, angelA, fel fel, jing and hUi( the tWins), cHOck and etc etc... lOls. We are really bonded I guess! hEe. Hmm.. lOAds of fun we hAve together man! n yes.. yuqi, i see your tag. thanz a lOt!! Im so touChed man... tears all brimming in my eyes oredi... yea! I will be happy and move on! Thanz a lOt gaL! I know you all will be there for mE! hEe.

SheeSH.. dIE.. still lEft more den half of wad i shuD study to studY. oh-no! this is bad, terrible and awful!! yEeks! siGhz. left one week to mUg like mad. Will I be able to catCh up on time..?? ....

2005-06-08T20:01:00.000+08:00

Living in a world of lies

I think I am living in a world of facade. Why must I put on a false front, telling him that I have already gotten over him? Its inflicting pain into my heart and rubbing salt onto the wound but do I have another choice? Absolutely no! I can only play hide-and-seek with my own feelings. The day I lost him was the day when I lost my emotions too. From then on, I only know how to put up a false front in front of friends. Sometimes, I do feel really happy due to the heart-warming group of friends that I have but at times, I am just putting up a false front, telling people that I am perfectly fine. If you want me to forget about you and move on with life, I will tell you its hard with hurdles and obstacles. So far, I have only managed to overcome a meagre of the hurdles and obstacles that obstruct the path to forgetting you totally. O well, it seems that you have already gotten over me totally. Good for you but regretfully, I think it makes me think that I did not mean that much to you. Seriously, I need time to climb out of this crater of depression. Its ain't easy but I know I have got to try. However, its going to take ages...

Blame it on me being too sentimental or childish but I refuse to get over someone who meant so much to me so easily. I even thought that first love works out at some times... Jsut a wishful part of my thinking I guess. But I will still wish you all the best and care for you as a friend. Hope you accept it as it is. I won't habour any hope, coz hoping kills.

Having hope may be a good thing but when it dies, one seems to undergo another tremendous attack on the mind or soul or heart. Its really exhaustive to cling onto hope. No wonder people describe hope as a thin ray of light. I will describe it as a thin rope that is being thrown into a cave to save people. ONce the rope is ripped and thorn, everyone who is left in the cave will fall to his or her death. yEA.. I am one who is struggling with the thin rope. Will I be able to climb successfully out of the cave? I really don't know. Up to my will.

bTw, don't you think the society is slowly transforming into a society of fake reality? People are all using artificial means to improve their looks or using 'super duper magic potion' to make one looks younger. Not only that, more and more guys are becoming gays. hMMm. Upside down, topsy turvy. goSh~

2005-06-05T19:41:00.000+08:00

woOohoo! NJ touch ruggerS roCk!!! We got the cUps runnErs-uP! tee HEe! so haPPy! though i was not in the team, we are alweez a team working towards a common goal! We are indeed made up of all shapes and siZes! hahaZX. hahaz.. i finAlly made myself to update my bLoggY. So damn long never bLog le.. hahaZ.. i tink about one month le ba. Trainings had been really vigorous these few weeks and we are having our touch ruG camp next week! hee.. lOoking forward to it man! nJ toUch ruggers roCk all the waY man!!! =)) proUd to be part of it! Shall takE an oAth.

Me, Joan KSQ, will commit myself fully to touch rug no matter wad happens.
I shall stay with my ruggers all the way
Even if there are obstacles and hurdles on the way
I shall kick them all away
Last of all, I belong to nJ touch rug and nJ touCh rug has got mE!~

haha.. okIe.. i knoW its lame. but i really loVe touCh rug. =) I will train even harder to play better!!

sighz. nj touCh ruggers j1s did well in the com but the j2s din. Feel sorry fer them coz they really trained very hard. Hope they will recover from tat soon! Nj touCh ruggers j2s will alweez be the best of all!!!

WoAh. So june holS is here oredi. ha. maN. caNt imagine how on earth am I going to cope with the common tests when sch opens. oOops. hahaZX.gonNA start mugging!!!!

hoho. sidetrack a bIt. Training at pAdang is really coOl man! the first time we went there to train, we caught a glimpse of fireworks at esplanade! omg. damN gorgeous!So nice! Now i realise how much i lOVe looking at fireworks man. =PP Den the next training was equally great too. We got background music sia. hahaZ. (due to NDP preparation i tink) wOohhooo.. i wanne go be a motivator leh!! hahahZ>. so fun!! bUt siGhz.. i wont have the time. =(

2005-05-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

siGhz. I have been feeling down these few days. bOo. Mostly becoZ i am suffering in pAin from something that cannot be quite explained here. Its an issue connected to health. I thOt it was just purely an infection on the outer skin... bUt.. it is nOt. HAIZ. so sad. Im totally petrified now, till I cant stop my tears from wetting my cheeks, or face to be precise. hAIZ. why mUSt this kinda thing happen to me??? dOn understand why. Am i suCh a bad person who deserve such treatment..? bOO! Just Hope everything will be good for me when I go see doC at MouNT E tmR. haiZX... i HAte cryIng and squealIng man.

Bio spA is coMing.. HoPE i can do a lot better den my trial.. My trial Spa was basically screwed up. jusT don like being in the labs. it makes one feel siCk and to develope headaches after tat. shEEsh.. i better do well.. =/

goD.. plS blEsS me. Why Am i So doWn on lUck? haIZ.

2005-05-01T09:13:00.000+08:00

yay! I am turning 17 in a day's time! I should be happy, coz there are people who are willing to celebrate my birthday with me, making this birthday a special one to remember. =))

well well well... I am currently recuperating from a minor injury. hahZ. clumSy me fell down and brushed my knee against the coarse ground, so hardly that it is impeding my walking speed now. Guess I wont be able to stretch myself for a week or so... the pain is stinging! =/ It all happened when I was having soccer training. haha. I managaed to snatch the ball from my opponent team and when I was going to kick it, I ramped on it and did a lunch and consequently, my knee landed on the ground and made a 'brake'. =.= It started to bleed a little but nevertheless, I continued to play until it was too hurting.

I think I am able to 'see' and 'feel' touch rugby now. I hope I can play better after every training. Trainings are tough and exhaustive but I will alwayz give it all for every training. I don't like fud legs but I will try my best to sprint as fast as my legs can take me. Sometimes tears of hardships tend to well up in my eyes and bags of tears are always almost ready to burst but I will endure all hardships and overcome all odds! Definitely, some people will be against fat people like me, coz they think fat people cannot do well in sports but I will try my best to prove them wrong! I will ace in both soccer and touch rugby! I believe I can do it! I am fearless!!

2005-04-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Hope of Torture

Why is hope a torture? Hope is supposed to give people a purpose in life and a goal to be reached. BUt why has it become a torture instead of the angelic meaning of hope? It is said that if you give a person a thin ray of hope in love affairs, it is actually a torture. But why? Doesn't hope give those pity souls a place to land their worn-out hearts to wait patiently for rejuvenation? To some people, it may be deemed as a torture instead of chance. Why? Usually, in the world of love matters, a thin ray of hope actually means nothing. It means that you have already lost the battle. Why give a person a teeny weeny bit of hope when you know you don't even love the person at all? When it comes to rejection, one feels absolutely dejected and down. So what has the hope done to one? It only makes one feel cheated and worst than ever.

So what's the meaning of hope..? I hope I don have to suffer from the torture of hope in any part of my life.

2005-03-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

Nj is not bad a jC. yay! I miss AC thoUgh. the fuN we had and the laughter we shared in lecture theatres and classrooms. hOo. Gone were the days but nevertheless, I made many friends. Tats a blessing, aint it?

o well.. sad things do jut out of life so suddenly. You thought that u can forget bOut that person buT actually, you cant. Its as hard as counting the number of raindrops that fall during a shower. Forgeting someone you gave ur heart too once is not easy at all. Im sure every normal person feels that.

Long were you gone
yOU disappeared from my sight
and hid away from my heart
The cut on my heart is too deep
Time heals all wounds
but is my wound going to heal?
Lost of blood in excess
Cried and whined and pinned
What's more for me in life?
Hope that i can leave behind the cuts
But is that ever possible?
I have to even if i cant.
choICes are limited
or even void
I can only let go of the dream...

I know i can write bout this stuffs coz he no longer reads my blog i guess. (im shO smARt~)o well.. sometimes jsut gotta put things down as it need to be. no pOint holding on to an empty dream. A dream has to have some substance before it is ever called a dream. Dreams are meant to create some hope but alas, everything is smashed against the wall and back to the bottom. i will never forget the good oLd days. and i will never forget the numbers dat i usually dial and msG to. YupS thiNGs aRe over.. But im gotta be strong no matter wad.. riTEZ?

2005-03-17T15:15:00.000+08:00

爱情是让人渴望的。心里的悲伤，心里的空虚，有谁能够了解呢？事过境迁，我也知道，但我就是放不开。
我们的爱已不存在，但我仍想念着你。美丽的回忆不断涌进我的怀里，能让我找回旧梦。我们的梦已随着岁月渐渐的淡化，而如今它已失去了方向。原来所有的承诺只不过是海市蜃楼，只是过眼烟云罢了。你就象美丽的梦离开了我，抛弃了我，只剩下我一个泪人默默地哭泣。豆大般的眼泪就象滂沱大雨蔌蔌地从眼框流了出来，的确叫人不能自己。

恋爱的滋味是难以形容的。俩人在一起总是快快乐乐，甜甜蜜蜜，无拘无束的。谁知你的踪影一从我的视线消失，我就突然间感到无比的茫然，不知何去何从。。。我多么的想回到过去，试着让故事继续，但是你说你累了，不想再走下去。我恨透了自己，希望能弥补过去，但始终无能为力。你知道我有多么无助吗？曾经是你的天使的我狠狠地刺你一刀，使你憔悴的心流血。我懊悔不已，但无论我做什么都已没用了。心隐隐作痛，你又何曾知道我是那么的伤心欲绝？

我为什么感到那么地悲伤呢？我也在寻找答案。在熙熙攘攘的人流中，很多次我都失去了方向。有些人和我岔肩而过，有些人却把脚印留遍了我的整个世界。一旦那脚印不再属于我，我便不知所措，不好的滋味纷纷涌上心头，鼻子一酸，就不能够脱离泪海。刚才看了《月亮的秘密》，几乎变成了一个泪人。爱，让人不能自拔，也使人迷迷糊糊，也随时把一个人推进深谷里。。。

若我有个机会，我一定不会那么的不懂事，一定会争取每分每秒，去爱我的唯一。
以下是我喜欢的一首抒情歌曲，虽然简单，但我认为它很有意思。

Stay 因為夜太美　寂寞的月亮　需要星星陪
Stay 不管夜多黑　不管天會亮　不去想明天
帶我飛　　遠遠的　到天涯　到海角
浩瀚的　　天際裡　只要有你陪
也許苦　　也許甜　不害怕　不後悔
因為愛　讓我們　　再也分不開　(Just) Stay
Stay　因為夜太美　寂寞的月亮　需要星星陪
Just Stay 就算是不對　就算是沉淪　錯誤也是美

我会坚强地活下去的，请你放心。

2005-03-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

lIFe is so full of ups and downs. Life is so unpredictable. For a second, you are basking in happiness. In another second, you are already tilted to the other end---the sorrow and sadness start to overwhelm you like you have never ever experience before. How many sad things will we come face to face in our lives? That is a question that we should not think of anywayz. hahaZ. A life can be short or long. A life can be a happy and yet sad one. How complicating life is!

There is no turning back in life, especially when you have hurt a person and scarred his or her heart... He or she will forever be lost from your veyr own treasure boX. How sad it is. A person can cry for days and nights. And whenever something makes him or her ponder over the past memories, tears cascade out of the sorrowful and teary eyes. . . forever watery and blurred. . . like being veiled forever.

Love creeped up unexpectedly to me.I was taken aback yet glad. Everything is gone now, but I will stay as strong as the grass that never dies despite being trampled on so many times in life. lOVe has been a wonderful thing.. it had been so wonderful and so crystal clear..? It had been so colourful and make me think of the kite that flies in the clear blue sky with the bright and every smiling sun being embedded on it. Kite is a wonderful adornment. It adds colors and life to the sky that looks monotonous. It sways beautifully with the wind and flies higher and higher, whenever parts of the string are being let go. The higher it soars, the more the heart gets thrilled and one gets really delighted... esp to me!

I wanne fly the kite with my loved one.
I wanne walk by the sea with my loved one.. with hands held tightly together.
I wanne have someone who is and will alweez be there for me.
. . .
guess its all noThing but a dream.
sighz.
bUt im gonna cherish every little time i have in my short life.
My life may prolong by a few more years than others or wad.. but it will alweez be a short life.
There are too many things to do in this life.
The things to accomplish are simply too much.. in fact.. uncountable!
I shant be too ambitious. Shall take things at my own stride.
Just hope i will be able to put aside all my troubles and complexed mind to rest at this moment and enjoy life.

...

2005-03-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

2005-02-27T15:16:00.000+08:00

tmr.. is the day...THE day.. aRGhs.. Im getting so jittery now.. hahaZ.. jittery joan! the feeling of being kept in suspense is so bitter. Numerous thOughts just keep pouring into my perplexed mind.. I know i shouldn't waste so much brain juices thinking bout the outcoming results.. but it definitely din help muCh. =/

If i get more than 10 points for l1r5, i will be damn sad and disappointed with myself. I really hope that i can get 1o and below.. haiZ.. Last yr, I have oredi disappointed myself for so many times.. I wish that this time... which has been the last chance for me.. i will make it through.. =// o well.. what if i don make it through?? Guess I will cry it out first.. dEn i will work even harder for A levels.. sighz.. I have ten subjects in all.. I do hope i can get at least 6 distinctions.. as in.. both A1s and A2s la.. haiZ.. can i make it?? Im praying real hard now.. I hope i will smile happily when i walk out of nh tmr.. i don wanne cry anymOre.. it will feel so painful again..

hm.. hope everyone will do well yea? good luck!!!hm.. act.. if u tink bout it.. O levels.. act is not a veyr big deal la.. A levels.. more important!!!
coz it determines whether u can get into a uNi or not!!so.. hm..everyone tinks tat i can make it to a ten and below.. but... Im not so confident bout it.. i mean.. everyone believes in me so much.. til i feeel so disappointed whenever I cant make it.. haiZ.. Hope i wont disappoint anyOne.. and of coz.. myseLf.. haIZ... coz i guess i screwed up some papers?? haiZ.. i really don wanne think bout it.. but.. its useless la.. Im so freaking stressed now.. til the verge of bursting into tears.. Im really really scared... so everyone.. don have such high hopes on me k?? coz i may not be able to make it...=( good luck everyone!! god bless u!

2005-02-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

haiZ.. now in sCh.. just ate lunch having free period noW. sIGhz... Im still kinda sad. The biggest problem with me is... I find it hard to move on with life.. It is another big big change in my life.. and i guess it is gonna be hard to adapt this time.

I used to put my hP jsut beside me whenever Im doing my work.. coz i knOw i can expect some sweet msgs from somEone. buT now.. its no longer the case.. Even thouGh we are noW beST frenZ.. I just feel tat we are not as cloSe as the past.. hm.. seemed to have drifted more and more far apart........

sad man.. I cried b4 I slept again ytd niTe... but it was just a shoRt cry.. coz i was kinda tired oreDi... I din waNt to waste so much energy on crying.. if noT.. i may jsut die of fatigue..

hmmM. at times.. i thot to myself... wad will happen if we have held on tightly and never gave up.. crystal told me tat i should noT give up.. and i know i should heed her advice toO.. coz perhaps things can still be mended... issit possible?? I have not idea.. I wish that i will have some solutions.. if nOT... i'd rather I drink wAng4 qing2 shui3... it could have been better..

THe pain just cant get losT. insTEad, it seems to be going to be a prolonged one.. When will the pain end... i really want to know. iTs getting me sick and tired of liFE. I know i should not feel this wAY at all... but sorry... I m feeling this way..

It jsut takes one wrong step and everything will be gone with the wind. yuPs.. perhaps it is a relief for boTh of us.. buT somehow... i stil cant really enjoy the relief part.. haixxxxxxx.

din mean to make u peepX to be worried with me .. coz there is really no such a need.. I brought this to myself. It s call zi4 zuo4 zi4 shou4. haIZx. It definitely feels horrible and just simply horrible to be in a state like this... i thOT he will be there for me forever... buT.. things are not the same anymoRE.. siGH.. maybe...i shud really let things go when there is no other choices...

I feel so screwed up... Im clinging on to a thin ray of hoPe now.. and im scared that it wil give way soon... hmm. i hOpe i will find myself back.. Whenever Im in my own room.. i will suddenly feel very empty and lonely and saD. hmMm. somEtimes i wish i can slp forever... coz im so exhausted... and slping really can make all pain disappear..

hMM.. okie.. shal stop here. hey peePS.. who is free on thUrs? hm.. I feel like watCHing Constantine in Thurs evening.. hahaX. so many ppl have watChed... arghs... so sad... =(

2005-02-20T20:09:00.000+08:00

hm... getting tired of stuDying maths... arghs.. so here am i.. typing calmly away..

hMm... Im glad tat i din cry as much as ytd... I cried for the whole day ytd. Whatever I did, i cried. Even when I ate, I started to tear. I also did not have much appetite. Was thinking about stuffs. The more I think, more sad I became. I looked through the letters and stuffs.. I cried even worse. My tears were so big and fat. In a few seconds, my cheeks went wet. After drying my cheeks with tissue papers, I managed to calm down a bit.. but after tat, i started to cry again. it might sound a bit funny.. but definitely.. its not.. its pure sadness...

I really din expect things to turn out like this.. but since it has happened, I shall take it as it is. I tried to study many times. I sat down at my table. I did a question. After tat, I looked up and stared at the sky. Unknowingly, tears poured out. I stared blankly for a very long time. I saw the cotton-like clouds. I saw an eagle soaring high. I saw the baby blue sky. The trees swayed and danced with the wind. Everything was beautiful but I just felt empty. Suddenly, everything changed. The sky became overcast. THe clouds turned black and grey. The eagle flew away. The trees seemed to be swaying even harder.. so violently. I felt so lonely all of a sudden. I felt so scared. Suddenly my world became pitch darkness. I don know how to describe the feeling inside me. I din smile for the whole day ytd. When the dark sky took over, I looked at the sky. I saw a bright star. It was sparkling so brightly up there.. I started to ask why. wHy...? why.... why!!! i was in an agony. I know I should'nt cry at all.. but my tears gave way anyway. i felt my heart being removed by an invisible force. Different emotions left me.. but only the sadness lingered arnd.

hm.. Well.. tat was ytd..tat was how terrible i felt. Today, Im feeling better. Things are gonna be different now.. But guess.. i hafta move on no matter wad. No doubt, the good memories we had will alweez be remembered by me. I wud be happy to tink of them but at the same time, im also overcome by sorrow. THe past was great... when he belongs to me. but now.. he doesen belong to me anymore.. hm.. really painful... but i guess im feeling much more better den ytd.. thanX for everything u had done for me.. BEst frenz we will be. =) I will remember tat I was loved and I loved b4. thnZ lotx.

2005-02-19T10:40:00.000+08:00

Everything's over.. really over.. the lOVe that lasted for 11 months.. is gone for ever and ever..

I have lost him. I cant imagine how my days will be like without him.. but nevertheless.. I will try to stay strong.. Things are not going to be the same anymore. THe feeling is horrible. SO bitter. I hope I can stand up again. There is no more a thing call second chance but I wont harp on it anyway. Things turned out like this but nobody can help it. Sometimes, I feel so helpless. I help others but I cant help myself. So ironic.

At the beginning of the 11 months, it was all so sweet and purely sugary. I felt so loved. I felt that I was flying. Now.. I feel that I just dropped into a deep hole that is filled with muddy water. I feel suffocating. My wings got wet and torn. I am not able to fly anymore. My heart is too heavy to allow me to take flight anymore. Tears cascaded out of my turgid eyes. They fell like nobody's business. Nobody is there to hold my tears anymore. I feel so devastated. I am searching for my source of light in my world of darkness with my pain and sorrow. Its tough.. needless to say. But I will make it I hope. I hope I will recover from it very soon but its not going to be easy. It has been great to have tasted love. But now, its all so bitter...

I will carry the fond memories we had with me til I die. I don know whether I should or not because the moment I think about them, I will feel abject again. All those beautiful days... i will rem in my heart. days at kuantan.. days at ECP... days when we were walking home from sch together.. days when we toked to each other over the phone.. days when we really were in love... Ill alweez rem them ... never forget...

2005-02-18T19:57:00.000+08:00

It has been a really long time ever since I decided to type a sentimental entry. So, i shall type it today.

Guess nobody's going to 'patronize' my blog without me telling them that I updated my blog but its just going to be for you to read if you are willing to read.

Time really flies. I am so strickened with guilt now, coz I made someone whom I love deeply very sad. I am really sorry for that, coz I felt that i have no other choice. It hurt me so much too. I want to stop myself from crying every night before I sleep but it seems to be the hardest thing to do. whY? Why have all these happened?? Why was I so impulsive and so insensitive? Why was I so blatant? WHY..??

nobody can understand how I am feeling now. I am almost near to devastation. tHis is a poem dedicated to that someone whom I hurt.

~ I miss you like how i miss seeing the stars every night~
~ Sometimes the stars are there but I ponder... where are you?~
~ Things are no longer the same anymore~
~ Both of us changed~
~ I wish we can return to the past~
~ When life was so great and tasty~
~ I wonder.. ~
~ I ponder..~
~ I reflect..~
~ What has happened..?~
~ I yearn to be loved more~
~ Thats what my heart wants~
~ Crude words werent meant to make you sad~
~ They were to let you know how i feel~
~ Im sorry..~
~ truly sorry..~
~ but i never regret knowing you~
~ and to love you...~
~ i really hope we can start afresh..~
~ and expunge all sorrows and obstacles....~

I want to be happy inside-out again! I want to feel revived! I want to feel the wave of happiness again.. perhaps its too much to be asked... Im just so sorry now... sorry...

Hope i can turn back time.... =(

2005-02-12T15:25:00.000+08:00

haIZ. why am i feeling so sad? i feel tat my life is coming to an end. feel so lonely and empty. I wanT to live!!! haiZ.. WHY WHY WHY. My liFe is so scREwed. Am i hAppy? am i satisfied..? someTimes i am.. but sometimes i m not.. JOAN KOH. wAKe Up! Why ARe you like thIS????? sTop crYing for goodness sake. Its not for good for heAlth.

The world is beautiful. but beneath the beautiful layer, there are so much sorrows. Its so overwhelming. I wish i can expunge all sorrows. I want to be as turgid as i can. I want to stay strong.. but where is my strength... STRENGTH.. WHERE ARE YOU? I need you...

sorry foLks. not feelIng okIe. trying to cheer myself up.

2005-02-09T10:07:00.000+08:00

Happy chINese nEw yr eveeeeeryyone! hahaZ. hMmm. yTd had reunion dinner at York Hotel.. hMm.. The food.. hMm.. not vEry nice. hahaZ.. It was supposed to be a buffet thingy.. den all i know is.. i ate a lot of mushrooms.. =/.. ate til i am so scared. hahaZ. and somemore.. it is so ex. ahhaZ. nVm.. I 'd rather eat at home.. more cosy and better. tastes better too!! hahaZ.

hM.. ytd went back to NH. hmm. miss the teachers there. hahaz.. chatted with Mr Teoh.. Mrs lIm... mrs oNG... mr chee... mr chan... saw mDm waNg.. but din get to tok to her.. ahhaz.. she was very bUsy. she so cute.. the moment she saw us, she high fived with us. ahhaa!! so ke ai! i complained to all the teachers.. ahahz. dat JC life is really tOugh to get by. haIZ.. and of all things.. they reminded us that the next time we see them will be when we take results!!! arghs!! haha. shaNT thInk bout O levels! hee.. hOpe everyone does well!!! hee..

so many ppl changed so much.. haha... i stil look the same! hee.. the fat old jOan! haha!! arGHs.. but some ppl said tat i look broader!! oMg!! hahaZ.. they said my shoulders look broader?!!.... hmm.. muSt be i swim too much.. hahah.. but cnanot be wad.. hm.. dunnoe la! hahahz..

happy new yr everyoNe!! all the best!!! be happy alweeZ!! hahaZ..

2005-02-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

HEEEE.. loNg lOng time havent been bloGging!miss reading my entriEs??? wahahhaZ. I really wonder how'S everyone doIng and coPing with JC lIFe. I miss 4o3o4 mOns.. plUs mama mOn.

weLL, AC has been quitE a great jC. at least a lot better den I thOt of last time. hahaZ. hmMm. I have been really buSy in sch and of coz, there are piles and piLes of woRk that are mounting up to a small little hill for me to do.. arGHs. cant afford to slack sia. hahaZ. Time is precious man. Really hope i have moRe thaN 24 hRs per day. =/

hahaZ.. and I guess i kinda like some of our teachers. haaZ.. I like my bIo teacher--mIss Wang and mathS teacher---Miss Kaur. Well, wad can i say boUt my form teacher who is akiN to my chem teacher.. she kiNda 'roCks'. hahha! get wad i meAn? She is a discipline mistress and she is like.. drawing a very clear line between a teacher and a student. manZ. i dun like this kinda teacher. No jOkes man. and the worse thing is.. ppl say she seems to likE me a lOT.. !!!! hahaZ. okie. no wonder i am the viCe class rep... =.=

hmM. eveyrthing has gone pretty well and smooth sailing for me la. jsut tat i am sometimes over-exhausted. hahaZ. Feel so flaccid at times but when I am at sch, I am alweez so ebullient... thanZ to the bUNch of jOkers in my class. My class is simpLy great!! hahaZ>. except for soMe outcasts... =X who simply isolate themselves..

hMm.. I shall continue blogging next time.. now going to grandma's hOuse. hehz. hmm. happy chinese new yR everyoNe! hee. hmmm. VdAy is CoMing.. i wonder how it will be like foR me. hahahaZ. i wUd love to receive a caRd....=P

2005-01-16T11:54:00.000+08:00

I just watched a sad episode of Solar Airway. It is a seriel show about pilots, airplanes and stuff. I watched til i cried.

hm.. basically, in this episode, something happened between a married couple, Yishan and Yunzhi. They are actually a very loving couple, just that suddenly, one day the guy asked the girl a question, whether she still has the feelings for Yichen---his best pal. Yishan and Yichen were once a couple but broke up really promptly. The period of time, though short, they were basking in pure happiness and enjoying the sweet taste of love. Yishan din know how to answer her hubby's question. That made him so certain that Yishan still has feelings for Yichen but she is suppressing them. He wanted to give up on her and persuaded her to choose again and to realise who does she really want to be with. She was in great dilemma. Her thoughts were so entangled. Finally, Yunzhi became the Captain. His first flight was to Rome. He accepted his assignment and flew to Rome, both sad and filled with uncertainty. When he was in Rome, he finally straightened out his thoughts. He became happy once again and tried calling Yishan but it just could not get through. Nevertheless, he was still glad that he has been able to straighten out his thoughts. He strolled down the beautiful street of Rome. Suddenly, he saw a little girl standing at the middle of the road feeding pigeons and a van was approaching. He dashed out immediately to save her. He did save her but he died. He was still smiling at his death bed. Blood gushed out profusely out of his head. He was definitely in immense pain but yet he was not in a grotesque position. He din yelp in pain. He smiled.. and closed his eyes forever. Yishan then realised how much she really loves and cherishes him. She cried upon knowing the cruel truth. She could not take it and almost went bonkers. Yichen--- his greatest pal ever--- cried too. Everything started from a paper airplane. The paper airplane flew high and a lasting friendship was born and developed.

Maybe u would not find it sad after reading this. Perhaps its just another soapy storyline. To me, i think the moral of the story is that we must always learn to be appreciative of the people who walked into our lives, especially those who made or make a difference in our lives. It is never easy to build up a strong friendship that will last for many many years. There is no such thing as forever, but as long as we remember each other as friends, its already good enough. So, if u have a loved one, pls tell him or her that U love him or her. It doesn't matter how much u say it to the person u love if u are sincere enough. god bless everyone.

2005-01-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2oo5!!! oh well, all the best to everyonE! hmm... Its a brand new yr and i am gonna chiong like mad in JC. yuPz. I die also must get into NUS. hahZ! well, good luck everyonE! I am ready to meet the new challenges, how bout u?

siGHz. Somehow i hope i am one of the victims in the tsunami waves... i really want to know how much the ppl arnd me cherish me.. hmm...

2004-12-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

TyranT TsunAmi

While most of us are safe and sound in Singapore, many others from other countries are suffering, either in grief or pain. I heard that almost a million or more people were already found dead and everyday, more and more bloated corpses are found afloat on the water. The peaceful deep blue sea finally got ferocious and invaded the land and engulfed so many islands. The tsunamis really came as a 'surprise gift' to everyone. Singapore is really lucky to be the least affected.. really.. if not.. the atmosphere is going to be filled with moans and cries. It will be a heartwrenching scene to be pictured.. siGhz.. So many people have lost their closest kin or kinth. Its really lamenting. There are so many corpses now, and most of them are already decomposing, giving off a putrid smell that fills the air. Its really unbearable I guess but the worst thing is, those people who lost their dearies in their life will really be grieving in agony and suffering from nightmares that may never end.

To those who managed to survive, I guess this horrible disaster will always be pictured in their minds, or being played again and again, like a horror movie being screened over and over again, while the audience is forced to watch it..

Tsunamis have caused such great damages. Not many people were able to escape the clutches of the 6-10 m high of waves. People who managed to cling onto the coconut trees for hours and survived, I really take my hat off you. Its really not easy to survive the immense pressure that the waves exerted.

Well, just have got to say.. Please cherish your dear ones when you have got the chance to do so. Any disaster can happen and take away your life or your dear ones' lives. Show them that you care for them and love them when you can. Life is really unpredictable I guess. Well, we jsut have to be always prepared to face different challenges in life. God bless you! I hope that the dead will leave in peace while the injured will get well soon.

2004-12-24T16:45:00.000+08:00

woohoOo! bACk from kOrea. wah.. I am so damn lazy to blOg sia. hahaZ. So I shall type a brief.. a really REALLY brief entry on my trip to kORea. heeez.

OverAll, the trip was considered quite fun, though this year very VERy special.. NO SNOW! grrr.. ! hahahZ. Its okie la.. i guess.. hehez.. coz I have seen snowing in SwitzerlAnd before.. so it doesen matter much to me.. but my mom really wants to see snowing. sighz.

ThoUgh no snow.. or shud I say.. noT muCh snoW...it is still icy cold. A blustry wintry weather it is.. I can say. The frigid wind.. really made ones face feel like a glass pane... very fragile. I think my face literally became numb after walking on the streets for an hr or so. hahaz.

wahahhaZ. bEing an ardent lover of pine cones.. I collected many that were found on the roads and grounds. hehez. Pine conEs are cUte and delicate! So far I have collected one whole bag of it.. so happy! gonNa dip them in golD paint... hahaZ. and decoR my hOUse with it! heeez.

beIng abLe to see the breath-taking scenery in kOrea is already a munificent giFt. The few places that we went to were MounT Sorak, Sangsooherbs, Waterpia, Skii reSort, Yongjin EverlAnd, Dongdaemun, Inchon, Nami iSland (Winter Sonata), a museum, a traditional koRean palace.. and of coz, famouS shoppIng arEAs.

mOunt soRak is a magnificent place. It is basically a mountain.. a tall one... with many many rocks and stones. We climbed it.. and reached the summit after a laborious climb. Its so cool... but I dare U to look down after u reach the summit.. I think U will faint sia.. hahaZ. iTs nOt enclosed with fences or wad... if u were to fall.. den sayoNAra! so tat part was kinda scary.

Sangsooherbs.. a nice place to me.. hahaZ. coz basically, as its name suggests, it is a place where many herbs are grown and nurtured. There are a few bonsai plants over there... the oldest one is bout 1000 yrs olD. heheZ. nICe plant. too bad.. i have no idea how to uploAd pICs.. if nOt.. i wouLd have uploadEd so many piCs for u ppl to admire.. oh ya.. the highliGht of the day was that we ate our lunch there... Flower Rice. hahaZ> oki.. its not exactly called flOwer rice la.. buT its a speciality in that farm and also in kOrea. it is made up of a bowl of rice.. (dUh...), five flowers of different colors(like rainbOw sia), a soUp tat tastE lIke misO soUp and anOTher soUp thingy... plus shreds of chicken and cuttlefish and RAW bean sprouts and dunnoe wad other veggie is there. hahaz. It tasted quite delicious.. BUT... U would definitely get to taste the RaW veggie.. whICh is kiNda disgusting.. hahaZ. i onLi ate one flower... coz they are toO beautiful to be eaten.. ( okie.. tats crap... i dun really dare to eat. haahZ. )

waH.. so angry sia.. I went to the skii resOrt.. I met up with a small accident.. tat caused my chin to be disfigured and almost caused my poor legs to be sprAined! This was wad happened... onCe upOn a time.. Joan, a greehoRn in skiiing, wanted to get the skii thingy outta her skii shoe. ( okie.. i dunnoe wad is the exact name of it.. hahaZ)Suddenly, a middle aged woman 'skiied' towards her... Joan waNted to 'savE' her from fallIng.. bUT apparently, she could not.. She held on to her.. so as to prevent her from falliNg.. but of coz to no avail. So the end result was... the woman fell backwards and HIT my CHIN and MOUTH that caused excessive bleeding.. and of coz.. a small SCAR.... I swoRe I thoUght one of my teeth fell off. hahaZ. So, I fell forward, with my bare hands on the icy ground, with my poor legs spread in an 'awesome' way that would really cause u to sprain ur anklE if u were not careful. So i was in a 'precarious' state and yelped for hElp. finally, three kind woman 'pIckeD' me uP from the grounD... while the woman went off so much earlier on.. withOUt even saying a worD soRRy..!!!!! Tat was indeed horrible!

after skiing... (okie.. i managed to learn smth.. haahz.. so now i am half way there!) we went to waterpia. hm... iTs quite a cool place? hahaZ. Its just like wiLd wIld wet la.. but maybe not as fun...it consists of an indoor and outdoor pools.. the outdoor one.. requires u to WALK in ur swimming costume in the ICY COLD weather.. iF i was not wrong.. the temperature was around.. ermX... zEro degRee ceLcius? okie.. the HighligHt of the thiNg was.. We ( the gals and woman in the tour gp) were shOcked when we walked into the woman's showering and changing area... OMG LOR! SO MANY WOMEN WERE TOTALLY NAKED!!!!! The humAn bOdy is so.... (yUCky) sia..hahaZ.. somE were even sitting down on the carpetted floor, having a picnic? hahaZ. And all of a sudden.. an old man jsut barged in into the room loR!!! ahhaZ. biaN tAI! of cOz.. all of us.. escaped the clutches of being naked like the others.. ( u threaten me with a kniFe.. i also wont walk around naked lor.. though its ALL WOMEN.)

heeez.. i love the evErland!! heheZ. It is suCh a nICe place.. so sweet and dreamY. hahaZ. There is a Safari world there.. where the animals are free to roam. heeZ. so we were on a bus.. with the animals like tigers, lions, big black bears and etc etc roaming around... woohoo.. there is one special breed there.. call Liger... heheZ. iTs a cross breed between tiger and lion. damn CUTE!!!! Sehr hübSch! I totally lovE the lOok of it sia! heheZ. It has got spots on its hind body while the rest of the body was covered with strips.. it is orangey brown.. damn ke ai! hahaZ. the animals there all very big and burly. esp the bears.. the big black bears! hahaZ. feel like petting it.. but i tink... its impossible la. hahaz. and ya.. there is a petting section in the everland. heeez. i love it man! hahaZ. I saw twO pInk pigs and two cows. omG!! i finally get to see a coW tat s black and white in coloR! hahahZ. aS in.. the kind that u alweez see on milk carton. =Pp The pigs.. so cute!!! pink pink one.. wanted to take a pic of its face lor.. den the stupid cow at the corner very fierce.. din want to let it pass... so in the end.. i onli get to take the pic of its bUtt. hahaZ. i managed to pet a sheep... wahahZ. a wolly sheep.. SO CUTE! so fat lor! wool all entangled up.. hahaz. was trying to take a pic with it... dne it kept walking... (naughty sheep) hahaZ.

k.. i shall stop here.. ahhz.. going to my auntie's hse for celebration.. heeez.. Merry X'mAS everyone!!!! heeeZ! all the best!!!!hohoho.. i am jOAn the reindeer!! heheZ.

2004-12-14T17:56:00.000+08:00

After reading kEgan's blog, I suddenly feel that there is a shadow cast on me. It just suddenly make me think of the next embarkment we have to take on and the path looks tedious and unwinding, bringing us to a place that we have no idea at all.

yeap. jC life is starting real soon. how i wish i can hold back time and let sec sch life start all over again. I wish to be with my good buddies and pals always but I know its impossible and somehow, we will be separated into difF jCs and will have a totally different kind of life that the roads we take will never cross one another's.

iTs sad but i guess we just have to face reality. Good frenz, true enough, its hard to find one in this society. Not to mention when we are in Jc. Its gonna be hard. oNly tWo yrs worTh of jC life... hOw on earth will we get to knOw our new frenz well enOugh? the friendship will never be secured. The frenship will jsut be like a sandcastle on a pristine white beach, standing so lonely. onCe it starts to sleet and the wind bellows, everything will be gone. The sandcastle toPples! And u will have to rebuild another sandcastle. i hope mine will be made of bricks, and nOt sand. In JC, I only hoPe to find a few good frenz whom I can really trust and rely on...

hmm. today went to mT alVernia to take my mEdicine. after tat, i went to clementi central to do some shopping stuff. hahaZ. I was supposed to meet ya yun at bout 5 to pass her her book but in the end, I could not wait long and since she would be late, i went home without passing her her book. hahaZ. hmm. walking on the streets alone makes me feel so empty suddenly. My heart seems to be suddenly void of blood, jus like an empty vase. When i was on the bus, I sat at the window and looked at the outside scenery. Everything loOKs so familiar and yet hostile. hahaZ> i dunnoe how to put the strange feeling intO worDs... I passed by MacRitchie Resevoir and memories started to pour into my thoughts. I still remember clearly how crazily i have cheered for all my frenz who were running cross country. hahaZ. and of coz, the time when i ran it myself, with the blaring hot sun above me.. I would never forget how tiring it was. I thiNk i cheered for all the peoPLe who I know when i was standing around the finishing line. hahaZ.

hmm.. this yr had been a hectic one. So much work to do and of coz, all of them have been done. So many events took place too and I could recall how exhausted I felt. Yeah. Its a sad thing tat all these have to end. Next yr will be the start of another whole new cycle... This yr.. indeed, many things happened. hahahaz. The most unexpected thing is I got myself a bF. hahaZ. I tot I will onli meet one in Jc or unI. heeeX. bUt no regrets anywayz. hE is so 'cherishAble'! hehez. yuPz. and i also get to know more ppL this yr too. greaT achiEvement!

hmmM. tmR goiNg koREa liaoz. toNite and tmr afternoon gonna finish writing all the x mas cards. hahaZ. [jiA you..to myself. haha] weLL, beloW will be my last woRds... b4 i go to korea. hahaZ

~takE care everyoNe! heeez. Have a haPPy hOls! thOugh I may nOt be uR very good or close or best fren, I hope u will have a nice day everyday! enJoy life! doN find it sucky, coz u are learning new things everyday.. if u are observant enuf. I do get lOts of enlightment from observing... heeeZ. its up to U urself to decide on whether u want to be happy or not. If u want to be happy, noBody can make u unhappy. So... look on the positive side of lifE k? dOn moan and groan. iTs not good for ur boDy. hehez. stAy happY and cheerful!!!!! ~

2004-12-12T21:43:00.000+08:00

heLLo peOple! hahaZ. hmm.. toDay is sunDay, 12 th of DeC.3 days later, i am going to board on a plane and flY to kOrea for a fabuLous toUr ahead. hehez. I am noT vEry excited la.. maybe just a biT ba. hOpe i get to see wad I want to see oVer there. *winKs* hahaz. wahahhaz. nOW i am super riCh! hahaZ. nOw i havE 62, 000 dolLArs in my waLLet!! ~dOn comE and rOB me ah.~ hmm.. of coz.. its after i changed 100 sing dollars to kORean wOn den have that kinda sum of mOney la.. OmG. first time see so muCh moNEy. HAHAHz. -k.. i am craZy-

hahaz. woohoo.. i need nOt worry whether i will be bRoke liao.. thiS hol. hahaZ. my father just gave me a hundred bUcks ytd. hehez. goNna shop in Korea. but of coz.. the most important thing is.. i MUST enJoy the beautiful scenery there. really hOpe it wiLL snOw at least oNCe when we are there... ~pls.. let it snOw!!~

hmm..yTd.. i went to ding zhi's house there to play table tennis, badminton and went swimming. hahaZ. thAt pig, a.k.a tong lOong..=P came lAte as usual... [haha. jk k, piG.. ] supposed to meet at 12.. he came at hm... 1:15? hahaZ. So we played and played.. of coz.. the two very fit guys played more la.. i was kinda slacking. =/ hahaz. was really tired ba... these few days din really slp well. hahaz.. coulD not make myself get into sleep even after tossing and turning like a pig being roasted for bout 2 hrs.. believe it.. ? hahaZ. hmm.. anywayz.. i enjOyed la. had fun. ahhahaz. i tink.. if i am not wrong... i imprOved in playing table tennis. HAHA. pls dun puKe. hehez. yeap. went swimming after tat. so hoT lor. sweating like mad. hmm.. i tink its kinda special sia.. coz got two big fish tanks over there.. hehez.. den like can swim with the fish like tat..interesting.. hahaha. i LOVE admiring fish..but nOt tooOo bIg k... i will faint. but.. kinda sympathise with the fish.. poor things.. have to be kept in such a small tank.. cannot have any freedom.. sighz. guess tat s a fiSh life in this soCiety. aiyO.. there is a nuRse shark.. so big.. and it was resting right at the bOttom.. poor her or him... so big.. til not much space to swim... guess its stuck there foreva?! oMG.. god bless u!

hahaz. so this week i have gone swimming for hmm... bout five tImes?!? hahaz. hoRrible riTE?! hmm.. but the sad thing is.. i dun tink i lost any weight.. =/ hahahaz. nVm la.. i tink when i go kORea.. i will lose some weight.. coz its cold.. and i guess.. the food there.. will not be quite my liking.. hahahaz. so it means i wont eat much.. yAY! hahaZ. hOpe i d have fun there.. BETTER SNOW!!

and ya.. have to finish writing many many many x mas cards by thiS weD.. coz by the time i come back from KoRea... NO TIME OREDI.. !!! hahaz. siGhz.. gonnA send bout 50 carDS?! and i am not even half way thru.. sighz..write too much for every card le.. so pls pardon me for my ugly handwriting k.. ? =/

weLL, hOpe everyone will have loads of fun for the rest of thiS hoLS! heeez.. think i will try to visit the zoO when i come back froM kOrea. maybe after chRistmAs. hehehe. den can visit my relatives over there--- THE pIGs... bOars.. soWs.. and piGlets.. wahahahZ. lONg time never see them le.. miss them sia. hahaz. -_-

hmm. well.. gonNA miss that somEbody really muCh when i am in korea.. heeeez. takE care k.. dear.. hahaZ. DUN FALL SICK! DRINK LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of water ah.. hehz. if u forget when i am coming back.. pls refer to my blog. 21 st Dec.. at 7 p.m. hahahz.

chr!stMas wish3s.. heeez.

2004-12-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

hm.. hOhoHo! chRistmAs is cOming! hehez. iT is onE of my fav. fEstival. heez. I will trY to induLge in the festive mOod as mUch as I can. heez. I just simPLy lOve chrIstmas.. thOugh i am nOt a christian or wad. I feel tat it has a verY significant meaning. tO me, Christmas is a symbOl of hoPe and a chanCe to liGht up oTher ppl's life. hahaZ. tatS wad i thInk. I have alwaez hOpe tat i can light up ppl's lives in one way or anOther. It is an achievemEnt! Well, chRistmAs is cOMing!! heheZ. merRy x'mAs everybODy! heheZ.

Well, since Christmas is coming.. i would like to liSt doWn my chrIstmas wiShes. hehez. Firstly, I am really bORed. ntH muCh to dO at hOme. SecoNdly, i believe that by listing everything dOwn, they will cOme true! So here am I...

jOan's chRistmaS wiShlisT:

@pEace
@taKe a waLK at LabradoR pArk befoRe jC life starts
@watCh a chRistmas mOvie before chRistmaS=)
@hAve a pRi scHooL gathering befoRe christMas tat will b successful.
@aBle to see korEa snOWing when i am there. heheZ
@abL3 tO see shOoting star again.. heeez.=)
@abLe to get at least 8 distinctiOns in Os. [Oh my.. is tat pOssiBle...?]
@wanNe spenD a happy chRistmAs witH tAt sOmeboDy...[u shud know whO am i toKing bOut. hahaz]
@able to go to the zOo!! and Botanical gArden...!! heheZ
@happy days ahead fOr everybOdy!

k la.. tat s all.. hahahz. nOt vEry demanding ritE? hahaZ. noT material needs. heez
Well.. hapPIe hOls everybOdy! hehehz. I jsut wanne bask in the sun onE day.. and take a walk by the beach. well.. nOt at east cOAst definitely.. hehez. I d loVe to clImb up a liGhthOuse oNe day.. to see beautiful scenery. hehz. liGhthoUses are beautiful k..hmm.. evEr siNCe i was yoUng, I have always lOve to have a garden blossomEd with flora. heez.so niCE! hOw i wiSh i can get aLL the flOwers froM diff seasOns to grow and bLossOM toGether... so coOl and pretty. hahahaz.. I wishED to have a plOt of land tat is full of suNflowers.. haahz.. k.. tat is dreaming. hahahZ. If i have it oNe day.. guess i will be so submerged in my oWn plEasure and get so detached to the oUtside woRld. wahaahaZ. iF u dont knOw.. i am One whO loVes to live in a woRld tat nature rOams and ruLes. heez. I dOnt mInd liviNg in a tree hOuse if i have to. hehez. Tat wOuld be so fun and refreshing. Getting away frOm this bustling city is what i havE alweeZ wanted to... but i guess it wOuLd be not quITe possiBle. hahahZ. anywaYz..i wiSh everybODy goOD luCk first... and be happy in wadeva u dO! dARe to dreaM and flY hIGh! unlEash ur potentIAl and sHow!

2004-12-02T14:06:00.001+08:00

WOots. Today had been a gReat day fOr me. Heez. Ok.. Let’s start frOm the dull and drab paRt of the day. THis mOrning I woke uP at 7a.m., trying to rush to the ICA building to update my passport photo. HahaZ. The building opens at bout 8 I think and my mOm was telling me to gO as early as pOssible, sO I would not get stuck in a long and sickening queue there. K. sO I took a bUs 960 to BugIs mrt statiOn first and then the train to Lavender. I tooK a queue nUmber uPon arrival and waited to be served. Hmm. There were nOt many people at that time. It was so quiet and of coZ, there weren’t many peoPle. I was called upon after a few mins wait and to my astonishment, I need to take another new set of photos again.. coz the person said that the photos were tooo glossy.. will make the ink spread over an area and make the passport look untidy.. k. So I went to take photos of myself and paid bout $5. wOah. So angry with the perSon. NOw stil fuming mad with her man! Wah. She anyhOw take piCs de lOr. OMG. Want to retake she gave me tat kind of bu shuaNg face. Den after the second time, I was kinda pissed with her attitude and simply stomped off. She was like…sighing and sighing. LiKe retaking will shOrten her lifespan like tat. Hahaz. Jk jk. But she really pissed me off. =X

k.. After tat, went back to update my photo. All in all, it took only bOut 15 mIns. HahaZ. After that I went to take mrt train to CCK lot onE to have a breakfast. Heez. All by myself and was reading my Readers’ Digest while waiting for tIMe to pass by…

hee. Actually today was quite a special day, cOz I met up with three pRi. ScHool frenz. From bPps. Hehez. So happy. We chatted lots and lots of stuffs man. From the sky to the sea; from heaven to hell; from black to white. Hahaahahz. From everyone’s descriptions of other pri sch frenz.. I guess everyone has really changed a lot ba. Hehz. Esp their looks. WoAh. That Jun hAo.. finally grow tall le ah.. hahaz. But still as ‘black’ as charcoal. HahaZ. I used to admire him a lot. Heez. [secret admirer] haha! Stil remember he used to call me AirPork… faTkOh and wad not. -_-… yeahz.. Den we still toK bout many other ppl.. see hOw much they have changed.. from good to bad.. or bad to good. Heeez. We really had a great time with all these chatting stuffs. It is really good to reminisce the past and to recall the fond memories. Heez. LookinG bacK at thE photos we took in pri. Sch.. I realised hOw toOt we looKed like. HahaZ. Yeaz.. aftEr this.. we are goNna have another reunion.. and this time. A BIGGER ONE! Wahahahz. GonNa invite peoPle from pRi. 6M and N to soMebODy’s hOuse[sixuan’s perhaps] and celebrate chRistmas! Ehehz. It will be a party la.. but a big gathering for old frenz. Heheez. LOoking forward to it.. and I hoPe everyone will turn up. =)

hmm. And yah. The mOst important part of the day was.. I realised that I am actually a very VERY fortunat3 gUrl. Heeez. Thanz everyone for everything~ especiAlly my mOm.. and my dearEst piG----tOng! HUGgiEx!!!

This is an enTry from yTd---1 dEc.

2004-12-02T14:06:00.000+08:00

bORed!

2004-11-29T23:52:00.000+08:00

I am so bOred! bOred to deAth! bOred to teArs!

hahaZ, here am I cOmplaining again. whoo..Every hOl.. I suREly cOmplain hOw hOrrible a hOl is. thAts me i gUess.. see.. my haiR turNing whITe le. haha. ;)

oMg. actUally I have a lOt of things to do in the hOls. hahaZ.

1. teach my bRo highEr chInese
2. teach bOth siblIngs piaNo [Omg. tInk i will be left with wrinkled skin and skeleton only. no mOre blOod.]
3. upDate my photo fOr my passpOrt.[i doNt wanne be detainEd at the cuStom again..!]
4. do tonnes oF pacKing agaIn![ 'bOringeSt' paRT]
5. loSe weIGht

hmm.. k.. from this list,I can infer that I have a lot of things to do. bUT all of them are so boRing. omG. hahaZ. Well, just came back from 4o3o4 chalet one day ago... shall update on it.

actually i was supposed to go for three days and two nitez, but i ended up leaving on the second day. hahaZ. I was really exhausted after the first day. Mainly is becOz I din manage to get a good sleep and I was involved in too many activities on the first day. Wei ting, Si yuAn, Pei Xia and I went to IMM Giant to buy all the food stuff for bbq on that day. woaHz. We spent bOut $100+ for the food. heez. Den Wei ting's father sponsored us oTah. heez. Den he drove us back to wei ting s house first to prepare some food stuff. At bOut 3:20, we left the house and headed to East Coast Park with the help of Wei Ting's brother.He drove us there. ThaNZ! heez. yeah.. anD so we arrived at the chalet at bout 4 plus. the bbQ was quITe fun laRz... the food tasted nice. simpLy sumptous.! Den naughty me started to use charcoal to scribble on the red brick wall. hahaZ. wrOte somEthing like '4o3o4 RocKs!', '4/3 dao4 ci3 yi4 you2', 'Paul is an idiOt'=P etc..

woAh. the hIGhliGht of the dAy! hahZ. after the bbQ.. We did somE 'detective stuff'. So we strolled on the footpath, so leisurely and enjoYing the moOnliGht. [the mOon was really briGht and round. so bright til it liGhted up the whoLe dark skY] The nIGht sky was adorned with sparkling stars too. heeez. was trying to counT the nuMber of starS that were visible to my naked eye.. buT obViouSLy... I couldnt. hahaz. Too many stars to be counted. Saw a bright blUe star, such a stark contrast with the dark blue sky and Cheng Rong told me its Saturn.. hmm.. [is he kidding me? hahaz.. i hOpe not]kk.. shall go back to the HIGHLIGHT of the day. haha! yahz. so we were strolling. One whole biG gP. suDdenly, i saw a naked man in the toilet that is situated in the midst of the beach area. Omg lOr.. can see EVERYTHING.He was trying to wipe himself with a toWel I think. I was so soOOO disgusted k.. oMG.. and I think he saw me too. hahaZ. I got so shocked that I think my eyes were transfixed for a few moments. hahaZ. I tot I saw a g****. SuCH a loUsy toilet.

hmm.. den went back to chalet after quite a lOng stroLL. was already exuding so muCh sweat. [eeeKs]after taking a bath...and after a shoRt chat... Fel, Pei Xia and i went to rent bicycles overnight. woAhz. so shuang. dunNit to walk so much le.. but in the end, my butt became so pain. thanz to the horrible seat. hahaZ. Den Cheng Rong was roller blading. heeez. Actually I feel like learning it.. buT... guess i will try it next time ba.. hahaz. nOT enOuf guTs. but it will be so coOl to roller blade on the track.. and let the wind carass ur face..such a great feeling!

on the second day, some of us went bOwling. hahaz. Surprisingly.. my score was the hIGhest!!!! haahz.. out of five ppl. woaHz. FIRST TIME I SCORED MORE THAN 100 points. hahaaz. i got a 107 i think. hahaZ. so happy. heez. and first time i got a strIke! wahahahZ. =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To dear dear
this is a little dedication fOr u. =)

*I Miss You*
The mOon has got the shimmering stars.
Together they brighten up the night sky.
I look at the night sky,
Trying to find a person I love.
I know you are there for me,
just like the stars while I am the mOon.
I yearn to hug you
Just like how the stars blend in with the mOonliGht.
The stars and mOon mingle with one another.
They chatted and danced merrily.
How I wish you are with me.
Then we can jOin them and enjOy.
Whenever the phone rings,
I hope I d hear your voice.
yea.. I am waiting patiently.
Now I realise how painful it is to wait,
especially when you are expecting something.
Everytime I think if you,
I d look at the night sky.
I tell myself that you are just beside me.
Just like the lOnely moOn with her companion of stars
Just want to tell you something.
I miss you loTz!
Hope to see you soon! =)

heeez.finally. anOther entry!~

2004-11-25T23:47:00.000+08:00

My love is true

Lift your face up to me
Let me see you cry
Let me see those hazel eyes
Produce teardrops from within
My heart has an empty space
For you to fill your sorrows
And another bigger part
For you to fill your joy

For you I can give up my life
Give up my entire heart
For you are the spark which ignites my body
Bring life to my gloomy days
Roses do not move you
Violets don’t make your day
I give none of these little presents
But my heart and soul’s resplendent rays

No destination is too far
No labor is too tough
No other person can make me tear
Except you, my dear
Pour your tears into my shirt
Soak them to the ends
I will breathe them dry with my every kiss
So you can drown them again

Whenever you wear a smile
Whenever you are joyful and in bliss
I will cork your happiness in glass bottles
So I can never forget these
I adore your shimmering aura
Your smooth succulent skin
Your lips I can never forget
For they are the doorway to your very soul

There’s no need for a camera
Or any other recorder
For my eyes capture every single moment
We spent under the skies
Should I one day become blind
Should I one day die
I will leave you a part of my soul
To linger in you as I go

You are my everything.

heez. this is a poEm froM belinda hENg--my freN. NICe rite?! hmm. iF somEbOdy were to write this for me.. i think i will be sooo happy and touChed til i wil melT likE butter. hahaZ.

hm.. Well. the hoLS is here. thOugh Os has ended, the feeling seems to be very weird. its like.. no more stress and everything just became so relaxing and soothing. Guess somE ppl muSt be thiNking of taking exAms again. haahz. so as to ease boRedoM. ;)

GraD hiGh tEA just ended beautifully yTd afternoOn. hmm. iT is quiTe memorable bUt moSt impoRtantly, the memoriEs i had in Nan hUA wil alweez be kept in the Core of my heart, esP the memories witH 4o3 mOns! @ the beginning, at the very first step i took into Nan hUa, I thOught thaT I am doOmed. Such an olD campus. Eerie feeling just seemed to surround me and made me feel so insecure. I parted with my very good pri. frenz and came here almost all alone. New embarkment i guess.. and i tot it will be tough.

bUt nevertheless, i began to make frenz. The first guy I knOW was pAul CheNg. hahaZ. tat 'lady-like' guy with a damn fair skIn. k. he started to tease me buT soon we became good frenz til now. heeeZ. I must say tat he makes up bits of my sec sch life. den got to knOw maRie zhEng mEi MEi. hahaz. =P. She is a nice gal but at the beginning, i tot she is very unfrenly. hahaz. She had a face tat seemed so fierce and dao. ~scary loRz~ buT soon she also became my very good fren til now. YEa. toGether we have facEd many upS and doWns. u really cheered me up when i was so deeP doWn. thAnz!

lOwer sec lIFe was coOl but not totally wonderful. I guess its coz not many ppl have become matured yet. bUt nOW, i am glad tat i am in 4o3! hehZ. wiTh all thOSe moNs. TheY roCk my seC sch life! ThoSe crazy thiNgs we did toGether will really make me remember those good days. I hOpe all these memories will alweez be etched in my memory space and never fades. I will loCk them up in the treasure boX at the coRe of my heart.=)

lasT buT noT leAst.. oMg. hoW can i forget thiS signIficant person maNz.. oMG.. hahaz. yeA, this significant person who appeared .. and still appearing in my liFe is.....................................................................................mR teO tong loonG a.k.a. dear deAR/piG piG/toNG tONg. hahZ. o well, maybE i sTill dun knoW u tat well, but I just wanne tell yOu tat u are the greaTest guy ever tat i have seen. U piggy backed me for almost fifty metres. oMg. glad i din kill u! hahaZ. U have giVen mE tWo cuties to accompany at nIte, namely mr Ttl and Sawn. hahaZ. ThanZ lOTs!~ I loVe yOu! hOpe ouR love will be ever -lasting!hmm.. Just wanne tell u tat if one day i meet with a mishap tat cause me to leave u forever, you must remember tat I loVed, stil love and will alweez loVe u. my soUl will alweez be with u. -dun shiVer wiTh fear ah.. haahz- hUgs!

k. gooD lUCk to everyone!~ have a happy hOliday and start afresh next yr again! muSt recharge batteries k!!! and continue with ur new joUrnEY!!!!

sO far.. sO gooD. hahaz

2004-10-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

phEw.. chEm and pHy prac.. have been quite a breeze for me I think. CheCked ans with mrS chang and sOme other freNZ, my values are almost there. -heave a sigh of relief- hmMMm.hOpe the other papers will be a breeze for me too. hehez. starting to gain sOme confidence in the upcoming BIG exam--- O levels. hahaz.I am sure I will dO betTer den pRElims. everyOne. jia yOU woR! hehez

hmm.. Today's pHy prac.. actually it was a bit laborious and quite tricky. I am quite pissed by qn one, which we had to balance a stubborn ruler that doesn't seem to be relentless.woAh. so in the end, I spenT bOut 10 mIns trying to balance that ruler and at the same time, i kePT lOoking at the cLock---i was really worried that i would not have enOugh tiMe man. hahaZ. in the end, i gave up. i juMped to methoD two. woah. tat was definitely mUch easier man.. bUT i had somE technical pRoblems wiTh the retort stAnd. i was sweating really profusely when i was doIng this exp. hehez. The last part of this exp... we had it for oUr preliMs. luCky uS. hehz. hmm. foR the second part of tHe wHole pract, it was qUite oKie for me i Guess. I had onlY onE confusion. daT is shud i use combined resistance or not. hahaz. i was in deep thOughts den, becoZ the qn said.. 'use the resistors SINGLY'. I tot can onli use one resistor at One time. hahaz. in the end, instead of probing mySelf further and waSting time, i rose up my hand. weLL, tat waS futile.. Mr Pandian came but all he said was.. 'lOok at the qn carefully.. it is all written in it..'hahahaZ.. anyWAyz... thanz gOd, in the end i still foLlowed wad my mind told me to. I used combined resistance. hahaz. phEW... luckily its correct. =)

hmmM.. goOd luCk everyoNe! =) oMg, cant wait for Os to end. siGhz. 20 +++ moRE days to go.. hahaz. everyone jIa you k? hehez. I wanne play badminton, play bball, go shOppinG,go flY kiTe, go swimming.. and START LOSING WEIGHT man... hahahZ. getting too fat liaoz.. mUst try to shed weight.. if Not.. O.O i will really turn inTo a biG fat sOw. hahaz.

after Os, everyone will be so stress-free. everyone will be enJoying themselves and a wHOle new cycle wiLl start again. -SaD- everyOne has to adapt to nEw environment again and to make new freNz. everything is so new again... and of coz, strange. cant beAr leave my goOd frenz in NH. -sObs sOBs- well, guEss everyone just has to learn to be accustomed to changes. I Hope i can.

jia you everyone~!!!

sorry ppl

2004-10-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

sorry to thOse whom i have offended lately.. sorry. hmm.. everyone.. good luck for ur Os!
jia you!

nOtes frOm a friEnd..

2004-10-03T08:28:00.000+08:00

I am nOw all aspired to do well in the Os. When I was packing my stuffs ytd, I chanced upon a piece of reading material that was given to us from Mrs Howard. I am glad that I had the chance to read it ytd. The pages of woRds may switch one off and make one reluctantly pick up the material to read. i truly enjOyed myself when I was reading the stories and things in life.

[No matter how daunting or overwhelming your circumstances may seem, you truly can turn things around. you can turn dreams into reality. How? By tapping into pOwer that's inside of you righT nOw. This pOwer within yOu can change anythIng in yOUr life literally in a matter of mOmEnts. ALL YOU MUST DO IS UNLEASH IT!]

to mYself and freNz whO have lOst faith in theiR preLims:
"We can wake up this power and bring our dreams back to life, starting today."
"Your past does not equal your future!"
"Personal power means being persistent in taking actions: Everytime you do something, you learn from it, and you find a way to do it better next time."
"No problem is permanent. No pRoblem affects my entire life. This too shall pass if I continue to take massive, positive, constructive action."
"No person, no disappointment was worth committing suicide over. Life is always worth living. There's always something to be grateful for."
---- Anthony RObbIns

yeapZ. I was totally awakened by all these. I have decided to reach my goAl of achieving As in the Os. I AM going to conquer my WoES once again in a better way and oF coZ to Work SMART. Maybe I have been working hard buT noT in a smArt way. yea.. I will continue to try. Continuous tries will not make me collapse. Let this prelim be my setback but I am going to tackle the problems within me. I am going to get rid of my nervousness and be as cool as a cucumber when I walk into the exam hall. All these are easier said than done but I am going to do it! I will make it! LessOns are meant to be learnt and not meant to kill anybOdy. LifE is shOrt but i belieVe it will be sweet too. gonna believe in myself and work hard at my weaknesses.i have forgotten totally bOut prelIms. hahaZ. Had put it miles away behind my head. GonNa get charged up and carry on with thiS joUrney. This is the path i have chosen. It has many obstacles and ordeals but I am not going to turn back. I will overwhelm them and defeat them! Os... HERE I COME!

p.S: There are no failures in life. So if you tink u are one, pls be like me, think that you are really great in ur own way and believe that you can make it! If you are unsure of urself, go and read the reading material written by Anthony Robbins that was given to us in May[aft mid yr exams]. =)

yTd and tOday

2004-10-02T09:36:00.000+08:00

::yTd::
Ytd i just felt like killing myself with a knife, or even juMping down from a tall building. I feLt so much like a coward ytd, coz i cant face reality tat well. I cant believe tat i cried for two hoUrs plus... there was a 'free flow' of tears. I cant stop them from gushing them out of my eyes. My eyes were really tired and painful but i just couldn't stop crying. My heart literally shriveled and shattered into pieces upon knowing that i failed my piano practical grade 8 exam. The news came too sudden and came as a shock. I tot i will pass. This news pierced right through my heart that has already been torn apart so many times. Exam results and stuffs have really made me almost lost my heart. The passion I had for studies dwindled and I felt that I am now groping my way in pitch darkness. I cant see any direction and felt so lost. My hardwork.. has not been paid off.

this caused me to be half-hearted. maYbe I din put enough effort.. or maYbe i just did not concentrate well enough. i tried my best in anything i do but the end result seems to cover up all my efforts and hardwork. I 'slogged' for the best. I studied and revised earlier than many other people and yet my results does not show anything. ppl may be laughing out there, mocking at me, saying that i am hopeless, work so hard also cant produce good results. yeah.. but so wad? they are slackers. They are lucky in life. They are smart. but so wad? maybe I am dumb but i am sure i am hardworking.

pls.. the sinister creature by the name of 'Nervousness', pls get out of my life. I hate u! u caused me to screw up my papers. U are my enemy. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!

::tOday::
to thOse ppl who really care boUt me:
thanz a lot for ur encouragements and motivations. i will keep on trying, indefinitely. Dun worry for me. I will not be killed so easily. I will stand up again and stun everyone with my O levels results. This prelim is jsut another fall for me. I MUST learn how to pick up myself and work harder and smarter. to thOse slackers out there, dun worry. I will beat all of u. Joan will definitely do well in Os. She will not be defeated again!

okie. Today juSt gonna finish up my packing and stuffs. den will go and do some a maths.

to Fel, thanz for being such a good fren. -hugs- i will zhen zuo qi lai. =)

to pig, thanz for being there for me too. I know u wanne share my sorrows and burdens with me. Thanz. I will not let u worry bOut me again. -HugS- =)

to my mommY, thanz for being there too and for being so understanding. I know i have let u down again and again. sOmetimes i wish i was smarter so that i can produce results that will make u proud of me. sorry.. i cant make u proud of me for prelims. But i will make u proud of me for o levels.

one biG wOrriEr----joAn

2004-09-28T13:43:00.000+08:00

yeApz. I worry too mUch at times. I think and think til thOSe morsal and stuffs almOSt engulfed me. I just cant stop thinking negatively. I am not cheerful enough to stop all thOse horribLe thOugHts frOm flooding my miNd. soMetimes i tiNk i am trouBlesome, coz i think too muCh. The result is thAt I will have blACk face and become very dull all of a sudden. Maybe its something like moOd swing but i thInk there's more to it.

I start to think that my dream of becoming a doCtor is very very far-fetched.I start to question my own abilities... whether i am good enough to become a dOc. yah. I am afraid of blood. BloODy scenes are the moSt obscene to me. I cant lay my eyes on bloody stuffs for more than a few seconds. I knOw i shun woRRy too muCh in liFe. liFe is shORt. it drifts pass really quickly and sudden.

I am not as calm as b4. I know i have changed. maybe worse or better. whO knoWs. me myself oso dun noe. Am i becoming lazy?! Am i becoming stupid?! damn it. I screw up so many things in my life. I hOpe i am a jungle gurl who knows nth about this worlD. I hOpe i would be isolated from everything. I hate to face this woRld. This world is UNFAIR! The poor alweez have to suffer.. while the rich alweez get to enjoy. Well.. the hardworking ppl alweez get nth.. while the slaCKers alweez get wad they want. I swear I will get an A1 for german in Os. Tats for sure. I am not goin to screw up anything again. I am not goin to let my life control me.

Strong may I seem to be... But actually I am not strong enuf to overcome obstacles. I am tired of trying at times. whO doSen wanT to haVe a satisfying life?! All i need is a life tat i can feel the satisfication and sweetness. i dun want it to be so full of bitterness. As niGht falls, I start to feel fear all over again. I cant stop my tears from gushing out of my eyes. I guess I am still not geared up to face anything big in life. well... i will continue to woRk hard. i will work hard til i fall dead.

Ah.. Going BerseRK!

2004-09-25T11:20:00.000+08:00

I swear I am going mad soon. There will soon be a disease call 'Mad Joan Disease'. hahaZ. This disease is caused by the big set back during the Prelims exams. Joan was shocked and freaked out by the questions.

siGh. Bio. I tot I could actually try to score an A1 for it. My hope is totally gone for Bio. The dream of getting an A1 for Bio is totally smashed. aH! The more demoralizing thing is the moment I read Kegan's blOg. oMg. He aims for a score of 61/80 for biO p2. omG. thAts horrendously hiGh. hahaZ. After I read his blOg and saw his aims for those papers.... my eyes almost gorged out. hmm. perhaps his 'difficult' is my 'borderline passing'? omG lor. biO p2.. i am totally hoPEless. siGhz. I swear I studied everything. but i tink the problem with me is that I was kinda freaked out by the qns when I am doing it. siGh. nVm. I shall work even harder. Sometimes I think, whether it's because I work too hard then thoughts too confused that cause me to do badly or not so well. siGh. maybe its true for me. But if I dun work hard, i will do as badly too. hahZ. I am starting to lose hoPes oredi.

The thing that i can confirm is that I am not a smart gal. I am actually a bit dumb or quite dumb or very dumb. I cant think properly and clearly at times. I cant figure out things correctly many a times. I need more time I guess. Pls ppl.. dun tink I am smart. I am just pure hardworking dats all. I can twist along with the questions only at certain times.. but many a times, I will be screwed by them. hahaZ. bIo is one of my fav. subjEcts. and yet I am goin to get my first B this time. isnt this really disheartening? I am totally drained by all these exams. These exams evoked fear out of me and i no longer harness any high hoPes for any subjEct. maybe I am a person who has very little confidence in myself.. but i guess as the exams go on, I become more and more sick and tired of them.

I dun like ppl to think that i am smart la. Coz i am not at all. Ppl tink i will do well when i say i wont. well... when i say i wont do well, it really means that I wont do well. My so called 'easy'.. means i can score a mere A1 for that paper. Not high As!!!! hahaz. guess my aims aren't that high.

~scReamS~~~

how i wish everything will go away quickly. I seriously need some serenity to calm myself down and to prepare for the Os ahead. -Sad- Dun dare to take back any results. Guess I will just be facing another biG set bAck.

ah... PreLims....?!?!?

2004-09-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

hmm.. Prelims... so far not good. siGh. Guess I really suck for almost every paper. wOah. Do the teachers even have good hearts? hahaZ. Papers all set til so difficult, making almost everybody so demoralized. for combined humnanities, i merely aim for a pass. I am done for for my history and Ss. Cool sia. omG. HCl paper was so tough today. The comprehension... I read through so many times and yet i dun really understand. I dun even know what are the qns are asking for. THe only thing that i am happy is that i know all the words for sections A and B. hahahZ. Thats the easiest of all.. -_- But it cant help me much la. Tmr Bio paper. woAH. whole textbook plus so many papers to revise and look through. hahaz> can become a panda bear or panda pig soon. -_- Now i am reading on the effects of Sulphur dioxide and nitrogen oxides. Well, dont think it will come out again ba, since mid yr came out le. oh man.. tmr's paper will be tough AGAIN! oh no! Guess this time i cant do well. nvm. After prelims.. work harder again for Os. Anyway, ultimately, the results that is more important is Os, not prelims. hahaZ. bTw... if i cant get into NJ for the first three months, i will either heed my mom advice by staying at home to teach piano or go PJ.. hhaz. PJ quite near to my house when compared to other JCs. hehehZ. MAybe just go there for fun? siGhz. No idea.

OH NO!!

2004-09-21T19:42:00.000+08:00

WoAH. Wad anOTher day that i feeL likE dying.. hahZ. physics and enGLish. Both papers are hard. anyWay... Just have that bad omen that i wont do well for all subJEcts. hmm.. everybody jsut jia you ba! Dun know where can I go after getting back prelims results lor
hahaZ. horrIBle.

SCREAMZ!~

2004-09-20T17:18:00.000+08:00

Ah!! OMg.. E mAths paper One was fairly easy, but I hope I din make any stupid mistakes that are really unpardonable. SighZ. i tink I screwed up my Ss paper. OMG. Guess i am goin to be hopeless for prelims soon. sighz. CombinEd HUmanities is a veyr important subject and yet I am not goin to well for it. Omg. sigHZ. Wad if I fail for Ss? HIstory paper cant help me much either, coz i have never done well for History too. GosH. The topicS that i really studied in detail din came out at all. The topics that I glanced through briskly came out instead. siGhz. I really have no luck at all. Guess I am really unlucky in times of exams. siGH... JoAn is so stuPid. nObody can deny that oredi. Why must combined humanities be included in L1R5!? Is not as if we will need it in our future job or wad. I hate humanities!!! siGhz. aCtually i used to love it but ever since i take combined humanities, nothing seems to work out for me. I alweez either do quite okie or really bad for it. SIGHZ. GOd.. Please help me get out of this darkness.. Guess I wont be able to get into NJ...... =/

-sAd jOan-

scared...

2004-09-18T19:22:00.000+08:00

Time has past really quickly. We cant change the march of the years and there is no putting back of the hands of the clock. We have to look forward no matter what and have to cherish any moment we have. Time is precious.

siGh. Prelims have started. These significant exams of great importance really set people on their toes. Many people start to mug and wonder whether they can make it to their dream JC for their first three months. Well, I had that thought too. I was scared of facing my prelims' results but after that, I was enlightened by my dearest mom. I told her I was afraid that I cant make it to NJ for the first three months. Her reply was just do your best. The first three months are not important. GCEO level is more important. With that, I can set myself at mind. So, I think everyone should jsut work hard now and don't worry whether you can get into your dream JC. It will tire yourself up and drain your energy. heehZ. Spend your time wisely! hehZ.

hmm..so far i think physics pract is the easiest paper of all. I am really scared that I will fail for my paper one. hahaZ. Scared I will write out of point. Well, its useless to keep on regurgitating my own silly mistakes. hahZ. so I shall stop. hmm.. I can see that almost everyone is very stressed now. Everyone looked so tensed and gloomy. Whenever I see the gloomy faces, I am also affected. Sometimes I really wonder why must we have such big exams to decide our next embarkment in life? I feel that it is not really appropriate to have only one, only ONE BIG EXAM to decided someone's future. One big exam does not really test a person's capabilities. What if one made tonnes of silly mistakes that are unpardonable in that ONe bIG ExAm, and screw up everything, won't it be quite unfair? Esp to ppl who will have nervous breakdown when exams are nearing. Who knows what will happen? I feel that daily assessment of a person is much more accurate of a person's abilities. I dont think that just by one exam, you can judge the person well enough. Well, many a times in the society, this kind of phenomenom is very common. We tend to judge people in a superficial way. Only a handful can see deeply and make good judgements. hahaz.

People.. work hard and soar! hehZ. Dun be so slack le k? The sky will be urs to create if you work hard. I am sure anyone who works hard will get the fruit at the end of the day. Even if you dont, you know you have never let yourself down.. jia You!

Chem prac??

2004-09-13T17:11:00.000+08:00

siGh. actually tot that Chem practical would be quite fun ... But who knows.. I did not perform to mark again. siGhz. It is not a difficult paper, but I think I really screwed the whole thing up, especially for the VA part. ='( Maybe Joan is really pure dumb. If i can get at least a B3 for this paper, I will be sated, coz i know i wont do well for this practical paper.

When I was doing the chem prac, my hands were trembling like mad and beads or perspiration trickled down my hot face. the heat was really stupefying. How i wish i could actually treat the chem prac exam like normal practical session. When i started doing the VA, i felt that my heart was in my throat. Could not even pour the solutions into the flask properly.

Why must i be so nervous everytime?!? Sighz. guess its my nature. I alweez tell myself that i have no need to be nervous and to be scared but in the end, fears overwhelm me and seem to engulf me, making me hard to breathe and alas, I screw up everything.

GUess i would have to work really hard for the written papers. Hope i can score there. If not.. really gonecase. hahaz.

HELP!

2004-09-12T16:24:00.000+08:00

HELP HELP HELP!
Joan is dying!
She is so stressed!
She dun noe wad to do now.
She dun noe whether her method of studying is correct or not.
She is on the verge of breaking down.
She is standing on the very end of a cliff that is so prone to collapsing.
She is so hard of breathing now.
She doesen want to disappoint herself again and again,
Coz everytime she disappoints herself,
She feels tat she is hopeless.

*cries*
*screams*

'hELp~~'

AH!!!

2004-09-12T14:51:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. I am so stressed now. Basically, I have touched on every single subject these few weeks. Of coz.. there is always too much to study and revise, til I seem to have developed [PHD]Permanent Head Damage as created by Ongymon. hahz. Yah. It pays to do well in exams. One has to put in lots of effort and has to restrain oneself from too much fun. I think I am a poor pig who has to undergo hellish treatment from my DEAREST brother and sister. WOAH!!!! Cant stand them at times! They cant speak calmy and softly. They shout and scream and yell.. all day long. Do they think i am deaf? hahaz.

trm Chem prac liaoz. SCARY!!! hahz.. I hope history will not repeat itself again, coz the chem prac exam that we did in mid year was simply horrible and disastrous. wOah. Still remembered when i strolled out of the chem lab, I almost wanted to bang myself against the wall. ha. felt so hopeless and numb. bRoke TWO boiling tubes somemore. haz. dat was really a nasty experience and guess we hadn't enough time to finish everything on time. when doing the chem prac, I felt like I was in an oven. The surroundings was so hot and stuffy and such, and i felt totally uneasy and was perspiring like mad. Really relly hope it would be much better this time. haz.

hha. bet everyone must be thinking of what to do after Os ba. hahaz. I am really really looking forward to the arrival of that day. Don't be surprised if i bring a champange to school on the last day of exam. haz. I will be so jubilant and will be jumping around like a juvenile, cheering like mad. haz. Woah. After Os, the next big event will be graduation day. sIGh. HIGH TEA. sianz. why must it be high tea?!? I would still prefer dinner. anyway... i gonna enjoy that day to the fullest. LAst day when everyone can get together to have a proper meal[hope so] and to have fun! hehz. will really cherish tat day. hope i wont be too happy or too sad on that day til i cry.

hmm.. gonna go out almost everyday and do the things tat i really want to do after Os. hehz. gonna let free of myself and enjoy myself. yah. four yrs of sec life pass came so quickly and are goin to be the past soon. SigH. I will definitely miss everyone in this school and will definitely keep in contact with everyone. gonNa send Christmas cards to everyone i know this Dec. hehz. so... hehehz.. I will be asking you ppl for ur address soon. whahahaZ. [i do tat everyyr]
And.. i am goin to MAKE THE CARDS myself. HAHAHAHAhz.

Everyone.. ganbatte!!!! hehez. sigh. Next tues.. gonna take back German Prelim results.. *screams~~~* Omg. siGh. so worried now. Worried til i dun really have any appetite and to get anything that is nice down my throat. Wad if i did badly?! I really wish i cna get at least an A2 lor. If not.. i will be so sad so sad. Confidence level will plunged right down into the deep blue sea and never rise. =/ Hope i will do quite well.. =(

wad a day

2004-09-06T17:43:00.000+08:00

paRting... ?!

2004-09-05T01:10:00.000+08:00

hmm.. In the midst of drilling those sophiscated Chinese characters into my really puny brain, I decided to blog. hahaZ. woAh. now is oredi 12:12a.m. in the moRning. U must be thinking that Joan is crazy. Dosen she need to sleep?! hahaZ> well.. I dont feel tired at all. In fact, I am quite energetic now. So filled with bust, til I tink I can perservere til 2 or 3 a.m. hahaZ.

siGhz. fOUr years in Nan Hua are goin to whizz pass just like this. Still remember on the very last day in primary sch, everyone of us were hugging each other, so reluctant to let go of one another. Now, the whole traumatic scene is goin to re-enact. But this time, it's gonna be tougher to get over Sec life.

In primary school, everyone was so boisterous, running all about like scattered ants, so mischievous and oblivious of the surroundings. We never had to think a lot and to worry about anything. But now, all of us are growing, both physcially and emotionally. Ppl tend to become more mature and tink deeply. And there is goes, cheeks will go wet when everyone tinks of the inevitable separation, when everyone has his or her own road of destiny to embark... That will be the most traumatic parting ever. Everyone has been with each other for years and the bonding between each of us is jsut like an ionic bonding, it will take a really long time to really 'separate' us. Perhaps it will never break. Perhaps we will be just like diamonds...
If you dont agree, think about it again and again. No matter how much you dun like this sch, you are bound to have some frenz that are really cherishable and will never be forgotten... ;)
Stil remember that i really hated this sch when i first came Nan Hua. Everything here makes me feel sick and groggy. Hate the feeling, hate the ppl, hate the emptiness.... But now i came to realise that i really enjoyed my sec life. It is really far more interesting and exciting than pri. sch life. Guess we will jsut have to be adaptive. As we walk down the road of life, we will definitely acquaint with different ppl and alas, we make new frenz. Diff ppl have diff impact in our lives. It could be a good one, or a bad one. Be it a good one or bad one, we just have to accept it. Thats wad add colours to our lives.

I miss ChoiR.
I miss the choir gown that we had to wear reluctantly.
I miss the teachers.
I miss my frenz.
I miss the cleaners.
I miss every single corner in the building of Nan Hua S.S.
I miss every little joke we shared.
I miss every little thing that made me teared.
I miss every little moment when we were cheering.
I miss every little thought that we shared....

Okie. So in a few months time, my sec life will end. ='( It has really make me grow up a great deal. Thruout the yrs, I cried, laughed, smiled, cheered, got angered so many a times... These will alweez be etched in my memory. Memories are meant to be kept and remembered for life. A fren made a day brings a different joy. How I wish i can keep all these memories in a box and take them out whenever i want to appreciate them. It would be a good recollection of all the memories in nh.

To dear pals,
I will miss you ppl foreva in life! A good fren is just like a four leaf clover, really hard to find and hard to grow. Once found, I will alweez cherish. If i ever made you feel sad, annoyed, irritated or frustrated, I apologize with sincerity. wiThout you ppl, guess my days in Nh wont be as fun they seem to be now. I do get teased a lot by ppl like paul, si yuan and etc... but seriously speaking, i have never really got angered by those teasings at all. I take it as an honour. haha. yah. Ppl need to tease other ppl to get some joy, so here am I for you to tease. If i ever appear angry or wad, I dun mean it k? heheZ. Just wanne thank you ppl who made my life in Nh. You ppl are the four leaf clovers i have been looking for... thanz!!!

-marie-
have been nice knowing a good fren like you. Really like your cheerfulness and liveliness in you. You are really one of a kind. Sorry if i tend to 'bang seh' you at times.. hahaZ. will alweez remember you as a pal who gave me encouragements and the solutions to my problems. thanz!

-fel-
heheZ. hey hipPo! have been really nice to know you as a hippO. hahz. -__- hmm. you have been a great pal. If u feel better after shouting at me or criticising me.. hahaz. [ i know you dun mean it. =)] you are obliged to do so. Dun forget I am alweez by yOur side! heheZ.

-jAne-
heheZ. sorry for alweez nicknaming you as Garfield Cat. ;) hahaz> tink you really look as cute as Garfield! hehZ> will alweez remember you as a fren who gave me encouragements too. You are my wonderful 'ah ma' in 4o3.. [thOugh you alweez dun ren4 wo3]

-Paul-
hahaZ> thanz for encouraging me when i do badly for exams and tests. You are a funky boi who alweez trys to make me 'angry' but you have never really succeeded... whaahahZ. Nice to know you as a good fren.

-VerOn-
hmm. You r really a treasured fren u know? Sorry if i have neglected you, Veron.. Dun forget, you will alweez be my good fren! You are a fren who gives me Jin1 yu4 liang2 yan2 when i am down. You are alweez helping me whenever i am helpless and lost. You are alweez there to comfort me. ThAnz!!!

-hwee hwee-
Sorry if i neglected you too..=/ you are a appreciated fren. A nice fren to tok to when i had so many problems. A good fren to play bball with to! Hope we wil have chance to play with the others after graduation.. heheZ,.

-PIG!-
hmm.. Must really thank you for bringing hope into my life. hehZ. YOu made me have some confidence in myself. Thanz a lot pig! Guess you are rite.. everyone is unique. Sorry if i made u sad at times... when i am not feeling good. guess i am too emotional at times. yuPz. thanz for everything you have done for me. I hope i really deserve them. =) love you loTz pig! U gave me lots of things tat cheer me up everyday. I know you are alweezz there for me. Thanz! -pinch you nose and squeals!-

hmm.. this entry is kinda long.. hahaZ> sorry peePz. made you ppl read so much! hahaZ. Stil have a lot of things to say.. but decided to stop. Wad I wanne add on is.. Ganbatte! I know everyone can make it for Os. must be certain of urself! =)

hmMmm.

2004-09-03T18:33:00.000+08:00

heeeZ. German prelims finally over! wahahhaZ. [anoTher burden oFf my shoulders] hmm.. the papers were quite hard i guess... not easy to score coz qns were damn tricky and involved lots of thinking and drilling.. =X

okie.. gonnA express my feelings again. hahaz. hmm.. not something good or bad la.. just wanne express myself.

Life is the toughest thing on earth to go through i guess. One has to undergo so many exams, tests and challenges in life. NobODy can avoid them and must even embrace them with ones outstretched arms. yOu cant put a roAd block to prevent all your problems and troubles from disturbing and overwhelming you. Life may not be as sweet as u expected and it may even be as bitter as a bittergourd. Perhaps at times you will lose your sense of taste--- tat is when u feel really numb and tired of life. It happens to many ppl.

to me, ever since a person is born, his or her life is a big box. It is up to ourselves to make it into an interesting and colourful box that is ever exuberant. The ppl in it makes our life interesting in one way or another, though the ppl we interact with are eithEr good or bad. Naturally, nobody's box is full of love or full of hatred, so dun fret if you feel awlfully bitter at times. Nobody's sweet foreva.

I am a person who is strongly attracted to the wonders of nature. Be it a rainbow, the swirling clouds, the sky, the trees, I alweez appreciate them for what they are. Dun think I am crazy when I take a long time looking at them. I really think that they are beautiful elements that make up part of my life. I love animals. I even have the ambition to open a zoo in the future. hahaZ. I hate ppl who torture animals. They kill them for their own needs, and it is those kind of mass killing... It pierces me heart. yupz.. sorry if i alweez say 'dun waste food'... hahaz. .i really cant stand ppl who waste food and ppl who are so so so fussy when it comes to eating. Yah.. some ppl hate vegetables. One will go ballistic when one finds a small bit of vege on ones plate. It really pisses me when i see that. Please.. think of the African kids. They have nth much to eat to cease their hunger. They even have to peel off the tree bark at times to fulfil their hunger. They have to eat things that we would never have thought of. So anything that is on your plate, please finish up everything. Dun waste food! Think of the African children who are so deprived of nutritions.

hmm.. Wanne say Mr Chan roX! heheZ. suCh a goOd teacher who likes to interact with small little kids like us. hahz. =P He really motivated me when we were playing the 'treasure hunting' game. hahaZ> ran around in sch searching for jin1 yu4 liang2 yan2. And he even added tat his fav. class is 4o3. wahahaz. I wil alweez remember him. hOpe tat he will have a bright future ahead of him!

Know everyone is stressed now. Prelims and Os r coming soon. If u havent started any revision, please start doing so now. Dun panick. Must be calm. ganbatte everyone! hehZ. i am sure everyone will make it if everyone gives in his or her best!

:: Some people dream of success.. while others wake up and work hard at it!::

So start working now. It may taste bitter but you will get a fruitful feeling at the end of the day!

oOh.. Teachers' day celebration

2004-09-01T10:21:00.000+08:00

hmm.. I shall give an account of what happened ytd. hahaZ.

::31o8o4::
Ytd we had teachers' day celebrations. It was not a large-scale one but I guess all of us enjoyed ourselves. There was the sandwich-making competition thingy and captain's ball compeition. hahZ. we were cheering for our class madly and of coz for our allies, 4/1. hahZ. Hmm.. Though we lost to 4/10, i tink our class played well. hmm... I have to say something that has been burning in my heart. WoAh. Cant stand SOME ppl. They say we are uncivilised ppl who played rough during the rugby game. Oh.. Isnt that false accusation?! WHO were the ones who played rough and WHO were the one who came out with all the F*** words?! WHO were the one who had really bad temper and pushed the blame to us?! WHO were the one who loved to criticise us when THEY themselves know nothing much bout the game?! Do THEY think that THEY are professional players?! OH.. PLease.. All of us are just playing rugby for fun and for the sake of our class. If you are unhappy with us, please tell us STRAIGHT in the face. Dont spread words behind us. It is totally indiscriminate!If you do think you ppl have played well in the games, please think over it over and over again. All of of are greenhorns when it comes to rugby. Nobody is perfect. We are not perfect, and you are not perfect too. You cant criticise other ppl when you urself are not doing it correctly. Dont say we are violent when u urself are worse. Stop being bias k?! 4o3 will alweez be united!

And to the 4o9 bois who jeered at us when we were playing rugby. THANZ for all those COMMENTS. So what if i am fat?! I can still run and play like other gals. Do ever discriminate or look down on fat ppl like me, coz you will regret and i will prove YOU wrong! Fat ppl are capable too. Pls remember this.

okie.. coming back to making sandwiches, hahaz.. i tink our class roX. i tink we were the most enthu class who brought so much food and stuffs to sch. hahZ. as if we really are having a picknic in school. Well, the sandwiches tasted simply delicious! hah. [Sie schmecken mir sehr gut! Sie sind köstlich und lecker! ] den Cheng rong went round inviting our teachers to our class for sandwiches. haahZ. Tink the teachers were kinda amused by us and i guess they enjoyed the food too. hahZ> hmm.. first time in life i see ppl making sandwiches with FRUITS. hahz.. [eerr... quite disgusting i tink? hahaz. ] But it is all for the fun la. ANyway.. the food really tasted pretty good. Den we took class photos. Woah.. Felt so reluctant to go off earlier and miss out the mass celebration in the hall.. hhaz.. had german exam to take. hmm..

After German Compo exam, i went to Doby Ghaut to meet Pig. hmm.. MRs Chang said that i must relax a bit.. so she asked me to go out with pig and frenz. hahaZ.. den she asked pig to wait for me. hahhahaahahz. So gao siAoz. hahaZ. =P [pig.. dun ever mistreat me ah.. hahaz,.. mrs chang is alweez there to protect me! wahahahhZ.]

So we went to watch Alien vs Predator. hahaz. Quite a nice show la.. but kinda scary. As in... the fighting scenes between the two freaks were quite horrible and gruesome. Woah. The contorted facial expression of the ppl really sent chills down my spine. hahZ. hmm.. den after tat went to take neoprints with pig and frenz. hahZ. niCe prints. woah. really relaxed the whole day,. except that during the german exam, I was really tensed and stressed. Was not in a mood for exams i guess. Who would want to leave a celebration in the midst to go for exams?! hahz.

:: o1o9o4::

heeZ. woke up this morning. feel so refreshed! wahahahZ. Gonna study study and study today. Sighz, the moment i woke up.. i tot of my german compo exam. hahZ. guess i found out that i made some errors here and there. shit.. i hope i will do quite well for it. hahaZ. Just finished studying some ke4 s for chinese. So decided to blog. gonna read thru Ss, Higher Chinese, Physics and do maths?! hahaz. jia yOU everyone! heheZ.

hmm.. *huGs* felZ. heheZ. dun tink so much liaoz k? hehZ. if anyone ever pissed you in anyway, try to take it easy. Dun tink so much. Everybody is different, needless to say different personalities will tend to clash with one another. So jsut look at the brighter side. Some ppl may be blunt when they comment or tok about some things but turning a deaf ear will do fine. Thats what i have learnt after playing rugby with those rowdy ppl. Even if its your good fren who made u feel bitter and angry, you shud take it easy too. Dun forget, you ahve other frenz like me who will alweez share ur problems with you. =) Cherr up hiPpo!

Thanz to ppl who asked me bout my grandma! =) If i need help in getting eggs, i will ask u ppl for help. Dun worry! heheZ.

miXture

2004-08-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

Guess Zx is right.. Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Thankz! I will woRk hard to reach out for that silver lining, even though I am mingling my way through an ominous dark cloud.

yah.. many a times, people do lose their directions in life. I have lost my way many times too. Sometimes, even though i know i am Joan, i don't know who i really am. Guess i am a sniffing little piglet who is really sensitive to things that happen around me. I wish i coud not feel, coz many things in life make me feel disheartening and down. Sadness always awashes me whenever I go back to my grandma's house. Sorry peePz. Know i have been regurgitating about my grandparents but i just can't stop myself from thinking of them. Maybe you can say that i am a crybaby, or it is just tat i have a well of tears that cant wait to gush out of my eyes but every little thing in life that is pictured in my mind will make me go into deep thoughts. These deep thoughts would then penetrate thru my mind and soul, giving a slight push to my tear glands and there it goes, i cry. Ytd, upon seeing my grandma, I hope i lose my sense of sight. I don't want to see her in agony and pain. Her frail look makes me feel so guilty, so painful, so sad. When we were eating dinner, she sat beside me, as usual in her wheelchair. I took a surreptitous glance at her. I swore the wells in my eyes almost collapsed. She has lost SO much hair! Her skin turned even blacker and her eyes were so sunken.

My grandpa has committed himself wholeheartedly to my grandma. Guess it is really uncommon nowadays. Which man would remain so faithful and loving to his spouse? I read the newspaper ytd. There was an article on marriage stuff. It says that many women have lost faith in marriage as many of them were abused by their spouses. They were beaten up by their husbands, who were once so caring and loving. It makes me think whether that will happen to me one day... coz things change. [i am really crossing my finger man...] Now... there is the so called 'egg crisis'. My grandma needs to eat at least four eggs per day and now my grandpa is searching frantically for eggs. He calls my mom and my uncles and aunties, asking them to help him buy eggs. He has been waking up very early to go markets to search for the eggs but to no avail. It is not easy to find eggs now. This made him kinda worried. This goes to show how much he loves my grandma.

Guess he will never be tired of loving my grandma. He has to carry her onto the wheelchair and onto the bed.. so many times a day. He has to bathe my grandma everyday, bring her into and out of the washroom, and wait really patiently for her to finish her business. I guess this is what people deem as true love. Whenever anything happens to my grandma, my grandpa will be the first to be so flustered. He will alweez be there for her. =]

Prelims is coming. Mug mug mug. this is the only thing we can do now. Jsut have to strive harder and work like mad for another 2 months plus.. and everything will come to an end! Four yrs of sec life.. will end after Os. I hope mine will end with a beautiful full stop. =) ganbatte!

=")

2004-08-25T17:08:00.000+08:00

siGh. These few days took back common test results. well.. did very badly for some subjects, esp for Ss and Physics. For English, I merely passed. =X hmm.. cried a lot these few days. First for Ss, den Physics. I have been trying to purge my tears from cascading out of my eyes but to no avail. I will inevitably come to think about how stupid, how brainless and how nonsensical i am. My cheeks went wet for two consecutive days. I was really shocked that i failed Ss, coz i thought i will do quite okie. Well, everyting's over and i really want to thank Fel, Crys, Paul, Lulu and some other people who literally cheered me up. Thanz for all your support and encouragement. I really love all of ya! hahz.. [pig pig. u must be thinking why i din mention you.. rite? hahaz. ]
hmm.. of coz.. the first person who made me laugh like hell after i cried was Teo Tong Loong. hahz. my pig pig. hmm.. must say that his stupid face has really evoked laughter out of me. =P jk pig. Thanz a lot. You have to put up with my moody face and wad not, and i guess it is really torturous to you. Sorry. Guess we will just have to work even harder. Thanz for making me laugh.. [Hercules have long hair.. den he has the strength] hahz. okie.. i shall believe you. I will get smarter if i have long hair. So i shall keep long hair! =)

-Hugs to everyone!-

hmm... Was walking home just now. Den it began to sleet. I did not bother to take out an umbrella, coz i felt that it was of no use. I need to have a 'from head to toes wash'. I need the rain to wake me up. As i strolled, the cold wind blew against me. The rain drops hit me again and again. just wanted the cold to ice my heart coz i really felt numb. I felt so useless. Why are some ppl so smart, smart til they need not study but stil they do pretty well or VERY well. Guess i am really pressurized by paul. He is a smart dude sia. okie.. maybe i am Kiasu la.. but i tink that ought to be the way when it comes to study. I cannot depend on luck, not like some ppl. If i dun study... i will fail.

okie.. anyway.. I told me mom bout my results, not verbally but thru emailing her. Wad can i say after receiving her reply?!? She is definitely and will alweez be the greatest ever mom on earth. She encouraged me and allowed me to find my way out of the valley of sorrow. Here is a quote dat i picked from the mail she sent to me..

[Please don't deprive yourself, in my eyes, you are a bright & pretty girl with bright future. I always think highly of you so don't call yourself stupid again.]

[So don't cry baby, just work hard for the GCE O but before you study, please have a good rest. Please talk to me whenever you feel like it.]

hmm.. felt so warm after reading her reply. Felt like crying again. So touched. Really love my mom. She has been my pillar of strength all these yrs. Without her, I wont be able to venture far. haz. And she added.. that i have a good looking boyfriend who showers me a lot of love. hahaz.. [happy la you pig.. hahaz]

hmm.. sorry ppl.. if i made u all worry bout me.... esp A4 and pig pig. Sorry for being so moody today coz i din really feel like toking much. I felt so useless and horrible but now.. i am feeling much more better.

I will pick up myself again. I will work hard at my weak subjects. I will continue to brave the storm and conquer all my foes. I will not die so easily. Thanz ppl! yOU rock me life!

i guess.. i am really terrible..

2004-08-22T11:12:00.000+08:00

from the day i step into this world, i have never been very happy. i admire children like me who can get along well with their father. i admire them, coz they can joke with their father, laugh with their father, embrace their father, chat with their father.....

I have never tried that before in my life. So what if i am fat, ugly and not as smart as my younger brother... So what if am not 'POLITE' enough...? [I dun tink i am impolite... pls..] yeah.. i am fat.. but so is my younger bro. But why does my father discriminate me so much? Have I ever done anything so wrong that cause that to happen? I am sure i never had. I am born with it man. ya. I am the eldest SISTER. just becoz i am the ELDEST and is a GIRL.. he hates me for who i am. Sometimes i wish i never grow up .. sometimes i wish i can be the youngest. I am already trying my best to behave as good as possible. but at the end of the day, i still get the same treatment. My two younger siblings, though they are extremely naughty, extremely horrible, extremely ill-mannered [my sister is really ill-mannered to him], he still treats them as if they are in heaven. okie. so i am the slave. yah.. slaves are treated differently. They do all the work and get scolded for meagre mistake they make. They cant pine, they cant cry and they cant make a single noise.

He says i am a lazy girl... He says that nobody will want me.. He says i am hopeless.. He says i am nothing. No matter how well i do in exams... dOES HE EVEN CARE?! the only person who truly encourages me in this family is my mom, my one and only one. [Is he my father? sometimes i tink i am picked up from the rubbish bin]

He himself is lazy too. He reaches home earlier den me.. and sits in the living room from evening til night... watching tv programmes.. relaxing life. He does not even care to move an inch to get something. He does not even want to buy his OWN stuffs. He does not even want to be bothered with housechores. Do u tink he is hardworking?! He takes leaves wheneva he feels like it. He rests the most... and i am the most worn out one.. and yet i am forced to help him do things. woah.. so i am really a slave.

If u feel that i am wrong in saying all these things.. jsut tell me straight in the face. I am really buffeted by him. He is so unkind, so crude and so uncaring to me. Am i not his daughter?

Smiles fade when i reach home.
It seems that an evolutionary change takes place.
I can laugh, smile and be cheerful in school.
At home, i feel like i am struggling to survive.
I am no longer myself.
I yearn for the day when i can interact well with him.
But.. it seems so far....

-sad joan, almost burst into tears-

anOther entry...

2004-08-14T11:59:00.000+08:00

79 days left to O levels. the big big donut is coming soon. well... I am kinda scared. I am already getting the jitters now. I am afraid that I wont do well in prelims and Os. I am afraid that i wont be able to get into my dream JC. I am afraid i wont be able to get into LEP, coz i really like German. I am afraid i wont be well prepared enuf to take the exams....

ha.. so many fears... guess i will have to conquer all of them by myself, coz only I myself can help myself now. I can make myself fall and at the same time, make myself soar. It all depends on how i treat the challenges that i will face soon.

ytd went to NJC for the LEP[language elective programme]. well...It is a really nice collage with a really conducive environment for students to study and revise work. It does not seem as dead as wad i have heard people saying. I am not like SOME peoPle who are ONLY interested in sports.. [fel.. yOu should get what i mean rite? hahaz. ;)] After visiting NJC, i really have the burning fire in me to work really hard, in order to get into this school with high prestige. I would really want to continue with my german, coz it is one of my fav. subjects.

sighz. chatted quite a lot with the JC1s ytd... one of them suddenly asked me whether i am looking forward to JC life or not... I was stumbled upon this simple yet intriguing qn. I did not know how to ans. I just smiled back and shrugged my shoulders. Wei ting.. on the other hand, claimed otherwise. hahaZ. that cow... hahaz. Guess i will miss Nan Hua a lot.. [the teachers and frenz] I suddenly felt a horrible sinking in the pit of my stomach. I really dont wanne be separated with all my good frenz and step into another stage of life where only strangers reign.

reflectiOns after the visit:
1. I am goin to work doubly hard now.
2. I am goin to spend more time with frenz and to have more fond memories.
=)

had o levels english oral ytd.. tink i kinda screwed it up. hahz. was quite nervous i tink. I hoPe i wont get too low a grade... =X
_huGs to mysElf_

arH... everybody... must jia yOu k?! we are left with nOt much time oredi! it is time to work hard and give it all! Everyone must try ur best and conquer ur woes and persevere til the end of Os k? We shall all do well in the Os! *cheers!*

fireWorks rOx! hahahZ

2004-08-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

wooo!!! hhahaz.. had a great time at Esplanade yesterday! wEnt tO watch the fireworks ytd. dAmn nice lor. hahaZ. We went oUt at abOut 5 and reached esplanade at about 6. den we walked a bit first, buying some snacks b4 settling down alOng the SigapoRE river [oPPosite the MerliOn]. wOah. it was like.. so many peOPle thronGing the place le lor. hahaZ.. yaH.. den foUnd oUt that Fel and jOey they all were at SunteC watChing 5566... -_- hahahz.. [jk]den fel's father boOked two roOms at Oriental hOtel. hahaz.. actually my mOm oso wanted to bOok room at Pan Pancific hOtel but to no avail. siGhz.

so.. we waited from 6:30 pm tO 8:30 pm. peOple behInd us were puShing us lOr. hahz.[plS loR... the firewOrks.. will be in the SKY lor.. not in the WATER! hahaz.. no point pushing the people in front and trying to stand riGht at the frOnt to get the best view rigHt?]
so... frOM 6:30 to 8:00.. we were sitting on the ground... eating some snacks to fiLL ouR stoMAchs. heh...bOught broWnie frOm 'mRs fields'. woaH. damn sweet sia. hahZ. den... my mOm's fren came with her laO goNg and bOught us fish burger meal. hhaahz.. =) [thanz!] wah.. den at bout 8:00pm, everyone suddenly stood up [for nO reason]. thInking that the fireworks was goin to start any min, we stood up too. hahaZ. woAH. at 8:30 sharp.. the fireworKs started! wahhaahahZ. damn NICE!!!! hahaz.. i was squealing like a pig as usual. hahz.. well... my mom was screaming and jumping. hahaz. The fireworks... really damn nice. simply splendid. simply breath-taking. simply marvelous. simply creative. simply gorgeous. hahaz. SO nicE Lor! hahaz.. thOugh it oNli lasted fOr bout 5 miNs... i tink it is wORth it ba. hahaz. so damn nice.!!!! hahaz. the last one was rainbow coloured... i liked that one the best! hahaz.

soOn after everything ended, the croWd started moving. hahaz.. woah. the buS stop was like packed with lots of people. saw already almOst fainted. really made my head spin sia. hahaz. den my mom decided to walk to the previous bus stop.. coz the bus stop outside Esplanade was really too crowded. so.. we walked and walked. finally reached the bus stop and to ouR surprise, the bus stop was bounded by some stupid metal thingy. [dunnoe wad is that call.. but it basically prevents ppl from boarding the bus]..... den the traffic police told us to walk back to the esplanade bus stop. -__- [ was kinda pissed by that.. but.. haa. the fireworKs really made me too happy to be angry]

yah.. on the way hOme.. i found out that pig could see the firewoRks from his hOuse too.. -______---- hahaz.. [not fair! hahaz. JK]

anyway.. happy bUrfday Singapore! hahahaz.. [my mOm is as 'yoUng' as Singapore. haahz.. ] okie.. dats all. hahz.

p.S: hey pig. hmm... sorry la.. hahaz. But i really din forget bout u when i was admiring the fireworks k? hehz.

Just an entRy

2004-08-08T12:36:00.000+08:00

hmm... Just finished reading some cHinese, so decided to bLog foR a whIle. hehZ.

i shall give a brief summary of waD i did yTd[sAt]
weLL, in the mOrning, i went back tO sch fOr orAl practiCe wiTh oNGymOn with an airy moOd. wOah. fiRst time the schOol was almOst void of peOple. hahaZ. reaLLy miss thE sAts wheN the atmosphere wAs hIgh, when many peOple went bacK to scHOol foR ccA and waD nOt. siGhz. suddenLy feLt very empty. hmm.. i was the secOnd 'candidate' fOr the orAl thiNGy. haahZ. Miss Ong gave me 30/40. okie la.. i tinK. nOt toO bad. she sAid that i read too fast for the passage and fOr tat, i was penalised.. hahaZ. [okIe. better take note. DUN READ TOO FAST FOR THE PASSAGE. TAKE YOUR TIME!] hahaZ. hmMm. after tat went to staff roOm to help onGymOn tidy up her taBle. hahaZ. the mOment i saw her table, I was stupefied. hahaZ. her tabLe... is just like the aftermath of a landslide. simPly horribLe! hahZ. reminded me Of a dOc i used to visit. hahaZ.. but greAt jOan manage tO help her tidy uP her taBLe bY stacking up the worksheets neatly class by class. hehZ. nOw.. iT is definitely muCh more better. =P well.. i reaLLy sympathise with her. She has tonNes of work to dO and heapS of workSheets tO marK. hahZ. oMg lor.

okiE. afTEr an hOur of laborious chOre, i ruShed to my piAno teacher's hOuse for pianO lesson. hahaz. reached hEr houSe late. hehZ. she coMmented thaT i have impRoved a lOt in my plAying and she seemed to be pleased. so..that naturally boosted my morale in oNe way or anOther. =) i pRoMise i will give in all my best for my pianO grade8 exam! [left witH one week and twO days]

in the afternoOn, i went bacK to my grandma's hoUse. well... dat really kinDa changed my airy moOd to a lamenting one. siGhz. lOoking at my grandmother, i really feel the stinging pain in my heart. I feel so helpless when i see her in a really awful state.

-she lookEd lethargic-
-her skin darkens everytime i see her- [nOt a goOd siGn]
-her eyes were void of expressions-[guess she is weary of being buffeted by life]
-her head is balding-
-her stoMach is bulging likE an inflated ballOon[for a moMent i tot she has Kwarshiokor- a disease that is due to the lack of proteins, charaterised by swollen stomachs etc.]
I stOle a surreptitious glance at her. i never wanted to scrutinize at her for more than a minute. I feared that i will tear in front of her. every time i look at her faltering body, i will be awashed with sorrow. I guess she has long effete. her sufferings are beyOnd woRds. She has undergoNe so many majOr operations that lasted for hOurs. There was oNce i really teared in froNt of her. That was when she was lying on the hoSpital bed, waiting for the amputation of her the other leg. She lookeD really sombre, and i couLd feel that the inner her was yelling for help.
It wouLd be goOd for her if she leaves the worLd now. I am not being crude, but this is wad i tink is the best solution for her. Her illness is a prolonged one, and no doctors have a cure for her too. She just have to wait for death... [it really pains me. as i waved goodbye to her.. she returned a wave of her hand, that was so languid.... ]

[SuN]
hmm.. toDay gonnA go ouT with my mom and siblIngs to EsplaNAde. to see fiRewoRkS. hahaahZ. gonna have some fun i guess... =)

woAh!

2004-07-30T19:38:00.000+08:00

hahaZ.. today has been kinda fun.
okie... duRing pE, as usual we were playing touch rugby. woAh! when playing ah... i was screaming and shrilling like a mad pig, and whenever the receiver cant catch the 'rice grain-like' rugby ball, jOey would keep tellin the person to 'wipe it clean'. hahaZ.. den it became like a chant like that... coz everytime when a person cant catch the ball, we will pin point at the person and repeat the 'magical words' many times. hahZ.. had a good laugh sia. the way we gals kick the ball, really damn comical. [yEah! we scOred oNe goAl! wahahahZ>. thanz to Pei xIa. hahaz.] whole pE was likE a laughing sessiOn. =P

and yuPs.. we have a new pE cum a maths teacher.. hahaZ.. he is mr Chan! haahZ. the quite cute loOking teacher who has a really big head i tink... wah.. he very bhb... keep saying he is very handsome.. -_- omG lor.. hahaz..

woAh.. durIng bIo lesson.. hahaz.. i had a really 'awful' time.. why? siGhz.. i am really scared of blOod ma... den mRs oNg was shOwing us video clIps on pregnancy this kinda thing. Cesaeren thingy... and the three phases of giving birth thingy... omg.. i almost really fainted lor.. sOunds so painful. hahaz.. some other gals were really agonised by that. hahaZ. den mrs ong narrated her own story.. when she was giving birth to her dearest daughter... wOah... there was one part she mentioned that after her little daughter came out of her uterus, blood was spurted all over the operation theatre... and the dOc was smeared with blood too.. hahahz... i was like... really on the verge of fainting liao.. hahaZ>. damn gory... hahahZ.. guess i turned really pale ba. hahaZ. [shit lor.. hOw am i gOing to be a dOc in this way.. siGhz... ]

hmmm.. maths lesson... woah.. got the shOck Out of my life man! hahaz.. so diu lian. we went thru Nov 2oo2 Paper One. When teOh came in, he started calling out ppl's name to go to the board to write down the solution of the ans they were supposed to do. hahaz. Auggi was the first, followed by pAul, den me and etc. hahZ>. I was supposed to do qn 3.. but i tot i was supposed to do qn 4! okie.. but i realised quick enuf that i was supposed to do qn 3.. den i searched for my ans in the stack of paper in my hands.. my mind totally went blank when i found out that i din do qn 3 lor!!!! hahaahZ... suey rite? hahaz.. i tot i did it lor... and was so happy when he asked me to go show my working... hahaz.. scarly the qn he asked me to do... i DIN DO... -_- hahaz.. desperately, i turned to paul.. hahz.. hOping that he has an ans.. to my disappointment.. he don know how to do too.. =X den.. 'lady luck' was on my side.. hahaz.. here came wei ting who was just beside me.. yUpz.. i copied her solution onto the board... thinking that she knew how to do... scarly.. when i walked back to my seat... teOh told me that my ans is WRONG!!! ahhh!!!! den he asked me to stand at the board there to think and present the cOrrect working for the qn... waH.. i really had no idea what is the qn trying to say... my mind really went blank after he told me i had to stand at the board til i had a solution for the [stupid] qn. yah.. panicking like mad... but i grabbed on really tightly to the marker and wrote things... i don want to stand at the board for whole TWO periods... doing nth but guessing... !!!! hahahz.. but in the end.. i found a solution to the idiotic qn. wOah.. kinda relieved sia.. hahaz.. but i was really fretting. i tink i stood there for bout 20 mins.. if i am not wrong.. hahaz.. wah... this qn.. like almsot the whole class has no hint at all on how to tackle that qn lor.. hahaZ... after that.. everybody who went up to the board was like shivering or wad... hahaz... scared that they would make mistakes ba! haahZ...

hahaz.. after school, fel, cry and i went to queensway shopping centre.woAh... damn funny thing happened.. I was trying to listen to wad fel and crys were toking when we were walking towards the shopping centre... dne i suddenly fell down... and there was quite a loud thud.. if i am not wrong. hahaz .. and ya.. fel told me i screamed! ahhaz... hmm.. [i din even know dat i screamed] and the strangest thing was tat... i jsut fell down like this.. really sudden.. and fel and crys got a scare. hahaZ. so diu lian lor.. hahaz.. zheng ge ren tu ran jian pa zai di shang.. hahaz.. bet ppl walking behind us must be laughing their heads off.
hahaz.. it was my veyr first time there and i guess i really really like that place. hehez.. so many nice and cheap clothings... hehez.. and there are so many cute little shops that lined the alleys and such. hahaZ. had a great time looking at the earrings, skirts, blouses, necklaces and such. heheh. gonna save money sia.. hehe.. for prOm nite. wahahahZ. after tat we went to ikea. heheZ. [pig.. i bOught something for u.. wahhahaahZ.] went to search for suitable frames for teachers' day gift... hahaz.

oki.. dats all for today.. hahaz.. had a great time.!

Cultural Potpourri

2004-07-25T09:03:00.000+08:00

Cultural Pot has been a 'traumatic' night for all chOir members. I think that we have perfOrmed quite well in cOmparison to the last CP. We gained sincere and thunderous applause from the audience, and that is what i have been 'salivating' for ever since i became part of the big chOir family. whO is the oNe who allOwed vast improvement in chOir and gave us cOnfidence? yeS! it is oUr dear conductOr mr steAd! weLL, he is leaving us for goOd as he has gOt himself a permanent jOb at NIE. We managed to take a great leap from COP to a silver award at the SYF Central Judging. It is due to the hardwOrk of all Of us and oF cOz, mr stead played a significant role too. he is ever so patient with us, guiding us to the muscial wOrld where the real music lies. under the You-Know-Who, i dont think we will ever make it tO mark. soMemore, the You-Know-Who has got sore throat every single day. HoW cOuld she even teach other ppl sing when she herself canT sing?

Right after the performance, many of the girls cried. It was due to both mirth and sadness. We do nOt want mr stead to leave us. As yOu knOw, human beiNgs are emOtional creatures. It is heart-wrenching to let such a good conductor leave. tears streamed down all thOse petite faces. we hugged and consoled each other. Later on, some of us sat at the corridor outside our dressing room and sang the three songs again. peOPle might think that we were crazy, but we were just too indulged in singing i guess. I will alweez remember Mr stead, the man who created miracle. his mr bean's like image will alweez be imprinted in my mind. =)

yuPz.. this is my very last performance in chOir. I guess i will miss chOir. it was onLi til yesterday then i really found that being in the chOir is so much fun! This performance at UCC marks the end of my participation in choir. ='(

hahaz.. and yarh. I will never forget this gurl frOm sec three whO always calls me SeniOr instead of Joan. hahaZ. damN funny. 'senior, seniOr, sEniOr!' hahaZ. shOuld i call her jUnior? hahaZ.

happy ending!

:: I am glad that my mOm came to watch my last performance in chOir. hahZ. glad that she enjoyEd the second song, cOz i love that song too. _The muSic of the niGht_ I will never forget this song. This song reminds me of mr stead toO. tO me, mr stead is jUs like a father. and yArh. Stupid pIg. heheZ. thanz fOr cOming to watch CP for the secOnd time. hahaZ. i accept yOur critical comments, truly. thanz for rushing there on time. BUT next time PLS do not run like that k? It is too dangerous. { thOugh u are a good runner} I don not want anything to happen tO yOu k?::

stoRy

2004-07-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

Fortunate+mirth+satisfied=m3!

2004-07-10T12:45:00.000+08:00

16 years, 2 months and 8 days have passed. This is how long i have lived in this world. thOugh my life has frequent uPs and dOwns, it is a life that i have learned to savour and taste ---- in the end, bitterness is removed while sweetness lingers on, filling the air with fragrance. every breath i take it maKes me feel fortunate. i am glad i am pink in health [thOugh i am fat]. i am glad i have quite a happY family with a lOvable, caring mOm. thOugh my siblings tend to get oN my nerves, they also play a huge rOle in my life. they make me smile, make me laugh and make me cry. numerous expressions are evoked out of me by them, they definitely vivified my life in a way or anOther. =)

as lOng as my heart beats, as long as i can see, as long as i can feel, as long as i can listen, as long as i can smell, as long as i can taste, i would want to contribute to this world in many ways.

=::I want to be a passenger train, one that is able to convey people of all walks of life to their destiny, to their goals and to their world of happiness. As i go round, i want to meet more friends, pick them up and know them, understand them.::=

this world is dynamic----ever changing---- and wad can we do besides deploying a coherent approach to embrace the changes? we just have to accept changes in life, be self- adapted and be conscious of what is going on. in this way, yOu will forever be satisfied. rendering a helping hand to a friend when in need, makes ones world more colourful, and you urself will feel that there is more meaning to life.

i have a few circles of friends. they have allowed me to know myself better and allowed me to sieve out the negative aspects in me. i mix around with different ppl... yuPZ.. everybody is different and unique in a different and interesting way. the results of socialising with different ppl, i manage to see different things in life.
whether is it sweet or bitter, i am oredi moulded to who am i.

the soi-disant 'paradise' truly exists when one knows how to go on with life despite failures and rugged terrains. yUpz.. one has to be acquaint with 'rugged terrains' one faces in life and walk on. iTs just like walking down a rAinbOw, whereby the end of the jouRney is a pOt of shimmering gOld. in life, the pOt of gOld is akin to mirth.

liFe is full of exuberance! all of us are still in the stage of germinating like a seedling. we need warmth, moisture and essential nutrients to keep us going.
Frigid the wind maybe, friable the soil may be, frangible the life may be, we must never be held back by anything... we must brace ourselves against all odds that erect out of our pathway.

+ when you feel down, take a stroll in the park, and let the light breeze pamper you+
+ when you feel hopeless, take a look at the night sky, the stars will give you hopes+
+ when you feel stupid, take a break from work, and scream out of your lungs the magical words 'i am not stupid!'+
+ when you feel bOred, take a walk on the white and sandy beach, and listen to the waves that crushes on the shores, they do tell you something+
+ when you feel sad, take a look a those less fortunate, and think of thOse kids in africa etc, and you will knOw what is 'being fortunate.+

be sated with ur fate, but improve whenever u have the space!~

=)

* bIG biG thanz to ppl who always leave comments at my blOg! thanz a lot! danke schoen!!!!! -muacKz- esP to ppl like stUpid pig, marie, fel, mC, yy and etc etc.. heheZ... lUv yA!

aM i reaLLy happY?

2004-07-09T19:38:00.000+08:00

hmm.. to that question on whether i am really happy or not.. i tink i am half happy and half unhappy ba.. hahaZ... -_______---

yuPz.. These few days, i have become lamer. Well, maybe it's just to cover up the real me ba... I am actually very stressed. Being lame and laughing out loud make me feel better and forget about exam stress. I am afraid of the forthcoming grade eight piano exam, the prelims and of coz... Os!!! I tink i have a lot of things that i need to cope with. I am no jellyfish which has uncountable tentacles. I wish i could multi-task in a more efficient way.... yuPz.. can soon.. gonna stay back quite often for badminton tournament.. hOpe i wont let 4/3 down... siGhz... long time NEVER practise le.. hahahZ... upcoming events for me are as followed... [ badminton tournament, piano practical exam, CT, Chinese Exam, Prelims and O levels] hahaZ.. if i can survive at the end of this hectic yr... I tink it would most probably be a miracle!

I really wonder, wad if one day i just suddenly blacked out and say goodbye to this wonderful world. well.. guess the earth will stil be spinning and everybody will still be as happy as ever. sO much pressure is exerted on me... including my piano teacher.. siGhz... whenever i see the faces of certain teachers, i am really 'horrified' in a way. They make me think of exams. Exams really make ones hair stand. hahZ.

If i crap a lot these few months.. pls pardon me... I am trying to relieve stress.. I swear, after O levels, i will 'wreak havoc' and enjoy life.

I am happy coz i have stupid pig and my mom and of coz.. my dear frenz. hehZ. {first few entries... oredi mentioned some liaoz.. so here... heheZ... ]Thanz Stupid Pig.. for always being there for me. you have played a huge role in my current life and thanz for accepting me for wad I am. thOugh sometimes yOur actions and words are really silly.. i tink that they are really cute and of coz... they never fail to brighten up my day. hahZ. whenever i hold your hand, i feel really secure and comfortable. thanz for letting my pinch your cute nose almost everyday and thanz for letting me 'beat' you.. hahaZ... if yOu tink that i am bad to you... pls say so.. k? heheZ...

hmMmmm2

2004-07-04T17:22:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... another nonsensical entry.. no la.. kinda bored... [actually.. is very bored... bored to tears... bored to death]

hmm... dunnoe wad to write oso.. but guess... i just have to crap ba.

Firstly, just wanne tell Fel not to be sad anymore.. k? heheZ. Joan pig will alweez be there for you if you need me.. hahahZ... In my heart, you are oredi as good as the angel in the heaven.. heheZ. =)

Secondly, jsut wanne thank my mom for all that she has done for me all these yrs! She rOCks! heheZ. thOugh sometimes she behave like a little kid.... well.. i tink she is stil a great mom. She has helped me a lot in life... and i guess.... i will alweez take care of her as long as i live! =)

Thirdly, these few days, i have started thinking about life after sec 4... siGhz.. sad thing sia.. make me wanne cry... everyone will be heading towards their dream JCs.. almost everyone will be separated... Faces will no longer be the same anymore.. everything will become as strange as it was in the beginning... siGhz.. M gonna do wadeva i can for everyone when i stil have the ability and time.. =)

lastly.. i tink i must really push myself to work harder.. hard hard hard! I want to get 10 distinctions! wahahahhZ. [dreaming again sia] hahaZ. anyway... nothing is impossible! hahaZ>

PetAls are no longer as beautiful...

2004-06-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

siGhz.. I am bored to tears these few days. I kinda wasted my time, letting time gushed by me like running water. oh man!!! I feel so disgusted by myself. yUpz.. sOmetimes, i feel so run down, til I tink i can hear faint calls from the heaven. hmm.. maybe when i get there, all my sorrows will be expunged? no more worries? I hate my life. I still feel very lost, as if I am standing in a never-ending highway. There's no way I can search my way out.. I have lost my ray of light. I feel like there are hundreds of stars twirling round my head. My eyes are heavy. I am no longer as energetic as b4.. I feel that my eyes are loaded with 100 tonnes of tears that are waiting impatiently. I need to cry out loud. YUpz.. my cheeks went wet a couple of days ago. yUpz.. I feel so ..
anyway.. sometimes.. i tink the world is unfair.. well.. the world is never fair.. i am stupid, hideous, crazy and etc etc.. all the bad things fall on me.. sometimes i feel tat god is playing a fool with me.. hahaZ. yuPZ.. i am really a foOl. sad to say. I regret being myself. I regret being a human being.

If i am a flower, my petals are dropping off, gone with the wind.
If i am a cloud, i am slowly being engulfed by the sun's powress rays.
If i am a grass, i am turning yellow and parched.
If i am a river, i am slowly drying up.
If i am a human being, my heart is gonna stop beating soon...

okie.. i know tis is a very crazy entry by me.. I also dunnoe why i am toking such things. I am not exactly sad... but the deep inner me is yelping hardly for someone to save me out of this dark hole. til the day i really see the light, will be when i am actually happy... siGhz..

Sorry ppl.. nth really happened out of the blue.. but.. i just have something that is building up in my mind and soul... and it is killing me.. suffocating me... So.. pls dun worry bout me k? guess i jsut need to write something like this to vent my anger?!?! hahahZ.. dunnoe... hOpe u ppl will never read this entry..

wOoohooOo.. back frOm kuantaN.

2004-06-18T10:31:00.000+08:00

hmmm...I reaLLy enjOyed myself fOr the past fOur dayS. Surprisingly, I did nOt have any 'bus sick'. hahZ. weiRD. nOrmally, I will keeP feeling nauseous oN boArd. sO.. this trip is cOnsidereD smOoth-sailing fOr me. hahAz.. iF nOt.. stuPid pig wiLL have whOle lOts of trOubles. ~phEw~
I shaLL highlight a few interesting stuffs abOut this wOnderfuL triP.

=LakE chini=
this is a reaLLy beauTiful lake. it is a placid lake with cattails and distributed growth of other water plants. as the 'speed' boat carassed the surface of the water, the breeze was so welcoming, pampering my face that was so sticky at first. The air was balmy, with a tang of sea in it. yeah.. the boat ride was definitely comfortable and fun. Here and there, we could see lotus flowers craning their necks above the surface of the calm and slate- coloured water. There was a most scenic spot where the water was filled with lotus. [ What a beauty!] First time in my life, I reached out to a stalk of lotus that is half-bloomed and plucked it out of the water. My face literally flushed with delirium. It is my very first time in my life to get so close to these lovely flowers. ha. Believe or not.. I almost sprang up from my seat and and asked stupid pig to take a pic of me standing on the boat. hahaZ. [luckily i managed to suppress myself.. haha.. if not.. the whole boat will capsize!]Den we went to visit the Orang Asli's settlement.. at there... we tried the blowpipe thing. Quite a fun stuff. I tried it once. hahZ.. we are supposed to blow the dart thingy and to aim at a board. as usual, i embarrassed myself again. Ha. the dart flew half way den dropped dead. nvm.. had fun anyway. =P

=SunriSe?=
Ha... next day.. at 4:30 am.. everyone woke up with sleepy eyes.. so that we could manage to reach the top of a hill to witness the beauty of the sunrise. HA. We din make it in time.. [too bad..] but nvm.. I managed to climb up to the submit of the hill... thanz to stupid pig. ;) ha. yupz.. to me.. i tink the process was kinda tedious. It was my first time hiking ba.. so... it really exhausted my body. hahaZ. i was sweating like crazy and heart was beating really hard... but i guess it is worth it ba. reaching the top.. heh.. was quite an achievement to me. haZ. goOd morNing exercise. I din regret. [thanz stupid pig!] yupZ.. the surroundings was veiled with mist and fog.. quite a beauty. =P the air was fresh too. =)

=Fireflies plus shooTing star!=
woohoOOo!!! Cant believe reading my subtitle? yupZ. i really saw a shooting star when we were cruising along the river. hahaZ.. Stupid pig and I witnessed it together and we were literally went into rapture. haz. Exhilerated til we almost forgot to make a wish. heheZ. I was concetrating really hard looking at the inky sky that was adorned with twinkling stars. First time.. the sky was lit up with those tiny bits of diamonds. Wad a night! We were waiting at the river bank VERY patiently for the boats to come back. woAh.. it was not easy to wait VERY patiently.. so many mosquitoes bit me. OMG! One even bit my butt.. hahaZ.. Tico Mosquito. hahAz. it was damn humid too. As usual, i was sweating like mad and was getting frustrated. At the river bank, there was a tree that was full of those little sweetie fireflies. I caught one in my hand but let it fly off immediately.. scared later it die. yupz.. den we captured some fireflies and put them into a plastic bottle. damn nice sia. hahaZ.. they were even kidding.. saying that 'You Deng Du Shu Le!' hahaZ. so funny. =D Fireflies... really nice...! hOpe my wishes will come true. ;)

=PlantatiOn=
heeZ.. this is anOther great and interesting place. Saw loTza durian trees, star fruit trees and etc etc. quite fun. yuPz.. sat a tram thingy and went round the plantation that was like dunnoe how many hundred hectares big. den we went to a place where there were ostriches and camels. hahaZ. fOUr hungry ostriches and two lazing camels. Wah! When i was feeding one of the ostriches, it almost bit me! wad a biG mouTh it has! hahaZ. den Kenny was disturbing one of them. hahaZ.. in the end, it got angry. hahaZ. yupz.. stupid pig thinks that the ostriches are suffering from malnutrition, coz their butts do not have much feathers! hahaZ.. kinda hideous looking.. hahaZ.. but nevertheless.. all animals are cute to me! =P

=Shopping centre=
after goin to the plantation, we went to a big shopping centre. hehZ.. we were given ample amount of time to shop la.. but stupid pig and i did not really shop. hahaZ. no interest in shopping. so we just took a walk in the centre. Den saw many frenz and mOns. hahAz. Ha.. tink i am kinda blur. Stupid pig and i walked into a shop where they sell all those earrings, hair accessories and morsals.. Den he bought me one pair of earrings. heheZ.. niCe wor.. Actually got meaning one.. buden i din realise... dat he bought for me as our third month together gift!!! AHhh!!! see how stupid am i!? siGh... sorry stupid pig! den we continued walking.. walk walk walk.. den he bought another pair of earring for me.. hahAz. Den i feel kinda bad... coz i din buy anything for him.. so we walked into a shop by the name of "Factory Outlet". heeeZ.. i bought a sweater for him. hahaZ. he caught a cold ma.. feel very cold.. dats why.. heheZ. den we went to Starbucks to drink something and sat there.. chat chat chat.. until time's up. ha.

=Salted fish factory=
hmm... it is quite a refreshing place to go to. hahaZ. coz.. i have never visited any anywhere. heheZ. Saw a tamed buffalo... so ke ai. of coz... i itchy hands.. went to stroke it. heheZ. Its hair.. very coarse sia. Guess it must be feeling damn irritated coz there are soooo many flies flying around it. cute! took pics of it. den we went to see the process of making salted fish. omg.. it kinda smell quite awfully but i could stil withstand it.. ~pheW~

hahaZ.. overall.. this trip was quite fruitful la.. hehez.. esp for me and stupid pig.. [you say one rite? hahaZ.] hmm.. i bought a kite tat cost 10 ringgit. hahaZ. We went to a beach that is very beautiful with all those rock formations. heheZ. took a couple of photos there. nice sia.. heheZ.. sea breeze has been so welcoming.

anOther entry tat haS no significanCe.

2004-06-13T13:58:00.000+08:00

woaH~~ watCHed eUro2oo4 yesterday night.. [this mOrning]hahaZ. weLL... thiNk the match was nOt very interesting sia... makE me fall asleep. GreecE vS. PortugAl.. i thOught PortugAl will win.. bUt the results iS that Greece wOn Portugal by one goAl! kinDa disapPointing.. cOz.. i tot Portugal is a very good soccer team. hmm.. tOnight shOwing England vS. France.. but.. toO bad.. cannOt watch liaO.. coz tmr have to wake up very early to gO schooL! siGHz.. nvm.. heh.. I dunnOe whO to suppOrt.. coz.. i tink bOth englAnd and France are not bad.. =P

yay~ tmr gOing kuanTan liaoz.. geeZ.. so happy. =)
hOPe the weather will be fine sO that everything wiLL be carriEd out smOOthly. =)
*prAy haRD man~*
hahaZ... gOnna bring a small luggage that is 17" by 13"... [not big rite? issit?]
hOpe i wOnt be laugh by other pPl.. thOugh i knOw i will be.. hahaZ.=P
reasOns fOr bringing a luggage instead of a bag:-
1. I want to be systematic.. bringing a bag.. very troublesome... have to rummage thrOugh the whOle bag to find one stupid thing.
2. Easier to manage... heheZ.
3. Easier to carry it.. no no... easier to move it round coz can pull it.. need not exert a greater force.

grRRr... my bro and sis are really driving me crazy... dOnt understand... they are nOt far away frOm one anOther.. i really wonder whether they are deaf oR not man.. if nOT.. tink i WILL be the ONE who will be deaf soOn. =X

hahaz.. yesterday sOmething funnY happened. I went to my grandpa's second bro's son's wedding ceremony... [at his house].. hahZ.. den i went there with my two idiotic siblings, without my parents coz they are now overseas. So.. As i was eating, one of my aunties asked me... 'Ni de da nü er zai na li?' I was dumbfounded by this simple yet weird qn. I was like... 'hUh?' Den she said, 'Wo hai yi wei ni hai you yi ge da nü er... Ming jiao Shu shen me de.. Ta wei shen me mei you lai?' Ha... Everybody started laughing... I laughed too.. omG>>> she thOught I am my MOther!!! hahahahZ... was trying to ask where have I GONE TO... oMG.. do i really resemble my mOm so much.. until i will be mistaken as her? hahahZ..

[shUt yOUr gap la.. idiOts!*stupid siblings]

HeAveN

2004-06-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

Had a shOrt chat wiTh marie
Heard that her hAmster died
And said that her hamster has gone to hamster heaven
Which is a blessing in disguise

yuPs
it is quite true
Heaven
is a nice place to go to
a place where only peace prevails
no entangled thoughts
no mixed feelings
no worries
no sorrows
no woes
Serenity-- the besT

i want to be an angel
who wears white
who plays within the fluffy clouds
that look like cotton candy
i yearn to fly to the clouds one day
to meet the angels
i shall join them
in their job
by blessing all my friends

world is getting so crazy
so bizzare
can i take it?
i want to find a place where i can rest my daunted soul and perplexed mind
and that place would be the heaven
the mighty heaven

so if one day i really disappear from this world
please look at the sky wherever you go to
you may see me waving to you
in my white and silky angelic gown
i will be waving between felicity and happiness
coz i will be in mirth
seeing all my friends being blessed

i will rise with the sun
and even when the moon hangs high
i will still be there
brightening up the dark sky
i may become a star
that shimmers and sparkles
so that the night will be livened up
no more fear
no more loneliness

heaven will be my home. =)
so now u know why i love to look at the sky...?

hmmmMmX

2004-06-10T14:13:00.000+08:00

wOah~ this whOle weeK, i havE beeN goinG to schOol maN. hahaZ. is this a hOlidaY?! hahaZ.. hmm.. ChoIR has beeN learniNg new songs to prepare for Cultur Potpourri. I tink we are mOst prObably singIng fOur sOngs. [Adiemus][Barbershop Blues][The Music of The Night][?!] hahaZ.. the last one has nOt been decided yet. oh goSh... goNna wear the uGly chOir gOwn again.. Mine is sOOOo biG loR... grrr... and almOSt everyOne loOks horrendous in it.. i am nO exception. hahaZ.

oF all these sOngs mentiOned above, i thInk i liKe the muSic of the nIght. heheZ. a nice and sootHing sOng and chOir will try itS best to sing it oUt very niceLy. =) bArbErshOp bLUes is a simPLe and cute sOng. kinda kIddY... thOugh its title is BarbersHOp blues... iT has NOTHING got to do with barbershop... weird rite? hahaZ.
Adiemus is a damn nICe soNg too.. i lUV it. hehZ. sOunds reAlly majestic i tink.

somEthing funNY happened jUSt now. I was takinG buS 963 wiTH hWee on oUr way hOme fRom schoOl after chOir. i was listening to songs while hwee was in hEr dreamlAnd. suddenly i saw this gUy [in his forties, pluMp, with a pair of extraordinary big spectacles]hE looked really eccentric. the funny thing is that, he was talking to Himself!!! he gestured quite wildly, pointing to the space of air beside him, as if chatting with a fren.. there was absolutely no one beside him lor.. is like.. he was talking to nobody and I guess other pPl were also puzzled by his actions. Ppl sitting behind him were looKing at hIm, giving tt type of 'what is this guy doing here?' face. hahaZ. so gaO siAo. i really wonder what was he doing man.. donT tell me he is talking to sOme 'livIng thinG'!! =X

a gentle reminder to pPl who Are goIng to KuantAn:-

1- plEase remember to bring yOur passpOrt oN thAT day.. dUn forget!!
2- please remember to briNg the white card thingy which yOU have to fill in all the blanks!
3- please remember to brIng ringgit ah.. hahaZ.

gReat dAy!

2004-06-06T19:41:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. thIs mOrning woke uP aT 6.30 aM. diD sOme wOrk, aTE breaKfASt and thEn weNt oUt at bOut 9 tO meeT stUpid pIg at cOmmOnwealtH mrT statIoN. wE are supPosed tO meeT at teN. heheZ. i was a bIt late [five mins laTe] cOz i haVe to waiT vEry lOng fOr the traInS to cOme. uGh~

tHe sUN was sO daMN hOt wheN we reacheD eAst coAst pArk. hahhZ. nOw i am aLL buRnt. [roasted piG...@ nOon lEHz! hahaZ.. ] yUPZ.. wenT to rent a bicycle and he went to roller blade. hahaZ.. he kept faLLing dOwn. I was reaLly wOrried fOr him. kEpt turninG bacK tO lOok at hIm tO see whether he was behind me Or not... hahaZ.. we tried to fly the kIte. hmMmm.. he tried to fly it when he was rollar blading. iT woRked, even thOugh it did nOt flY hiGh. HOwevEr, the kIte seemed to lOse its lIfe aftEr we went to the beaCh tO flY it. hahahZ.. [okie.. hE was the One whO flew the kiTe la.. nOt me] hahahZ.. guess i Am jusT plain stuPid. =P

after dat we tOok a cAb to bedOk buS interchAnge... hahhaZ. [the bus 4o1 arhz... One hOur oNe stuPId buS.] we wenT tO kFC to havE ouR lunCh. hmmMm.. oRdered zinger buRGer meaL. and stuPId piG kepT takINg phOtOs of me wiTh my phOne.. uGh..~~ hhaZ. [jK]

woAH... after fiLling oUR empty stOmachs, we tOok the traIn tO clEmeNti. oMg.. EIGHTEEN staTions mAn. hahAZ. bUT it tOok oNli aBout 40 miNs. sO.. nOt so bOring. ~lucKilY~

we waLKed to thE swIMMing compLeX. wOah~ quite crOwded siA. hahAz. in a hOt day, the best thIng tO dO is tO go foR a swim. hehez.. buT tHe waTEr seemEd to bE veRY salTy. hahZ. dunNoe whY alSo. i tinK i onLi swam a few lAps toDAy. siGHx.. kiNda tireD. yESterdaY alsO wenT swimmIng wiTh wei tIng. swam bOut 10 laPz. hahZ. hmPh! Stupid piG tOld me twO guyS were pOinting at me and laughing at mE when i was swimming!!! agrr... hahaZ.. [lauGh lOr.. laTEr uR teeth drOp deN yOu knOw aRhz... hahaz.]

hahaZ.. nOw i am all red and kinda tanned. sO if yOu have read thIs entry... plZ dO nOt ask mE why my face is so red.. hahahZ. Everytime after a swim, my face will just go red.. i alSo dunnOe why. hahahZ. daTs aLL fOr tOday! heheX =)
-bTw-

saw one oLD couPle at ECP toDAy. woAh. thEy very ke ai and sWeet. thEy rented oNe douBle bIke[ er... i dunnOe what issiT called] anD theY cycled tOgether. thE cuTE thing waS thAT the oLD lady sheltered hiS old hubBy frOm the sUn with a reD umbrella. [i guess hE was the oNe whO waS cyclinG veRy vigorously ba.. cOZ.. nOrmally, the oNe sitTing in fRont hAs to cycle wiTH moRE strength] so ke ai! hahaZ. hAo xiAn mU woR! =) hOpe they wiLL enjOy themselves in theiR gOlden age.

smileX!

2004-06-04T16:01:00.000+08:00

sOMe joYs are b3st
expreSsed in silEnce
As a sm!Le hOlds
mOre meanIng thAn a laUghter
I was askEd if I enjOyed knOwing yOu...
i jUz smiLed.
=)

jUz wannE thAnk everyOne whO i knOw fOr yOur lOve and cOncerN. [~danKe_scHön~]

tO my deaRest mOm:
i m reAlly glad tO b3 destinied tO be yOur daughter. In my heaRt, yOu ar3 the greAtest mOm ever in the whOle universe. u are eVer sO patIenT wHen iT coMes tO guidIng me onTo the riGht paTh. frOm th3 daY i was bOrn, yOu have beEn reAlly buSy wiTh me. yOu arE juSt like my teacher, my coach and my friend. yOU havE neveR usEd the caNe On me cOz yOu belieVe deEply in me, tat i wiLL make iT tO marK one day. yOu are simPly the gOd in my heaRt.

tO deaRie stUpid pIg:
hmmMm... i duNnOe what tO say abOut yOu man.. hahaX. yOu arE simPly a grEat bf. =)
I feEl reaLLy luCky to hAve yOu. yOu are reaLLy diffErEnt frOm oTHer guYs i gueSs. fat3 has bOught twO pigs tOgetHer sO i reAlly hOpe we wiLL have a wondrous timE tOgeTHer! hOpe thAt bOth Of us wiLL dO weLL in Os~.. heheZ.

tO feLz akA hipPo:
thAnx hippO. hahaZ. yOu have been a grEat friend who has played a greAt rOle in my seC liFe, causiNg a greaT impAct On mE! hahahS. [jk/ tOo exaggeratinG le] yeAh... wE are fAT, buT our hEarTs aRE noT fAt. hahaz... [get wAd i meaN?] heheX. hOpe that yOu and Him wiLL haVe a lOng lasTing freNship Or even... [ yOu shUd knOw la hOr?] hahaZ.
-CheErs-

tO verOnicA aka parrOt fish:
heheZ. sOrry if i hAve bEen toO mischievious at times. =p i juSt lovE 'irriTaTing' yOu i gueSs. yOu are alWays so optimistic and bright. brIght til caN brightEn uP my liFe. [go and bE a lighT bulb bA!] lOlz. jUst waNne thAnk yOu fOr uR never-endIng encOuragemeNt. tHanz foR spurrinG me tO gO oN tO striVe fOr beTTer resUlts. =muAckx= hehe.. [jk/i aM nO lesbIan k... hehe]

tO hweE aka koAla beAr:
yOz kOalA!havinG a grEat tiMe huGging the treEs? hahaZ. [jk]YoU havE beEn a marvellous freN. daTs whaT i caN saY bOut yOu. U are reaLLy versatile in maNy areas. [enviouS] hahahZ. [jk] ur bbAll skiLLs... reallY zAn~~ hahahZ. rOck on gAl! hehehZ.

to MariE ZHENG aka hAmhAm:
haz. i will never fOrget uR lameness mAn. hahZ. yOu reaLLy make me want to cry and lauGh at the sAme time. weLL, yOu have been a reaLLy nice fren. yOu have good characters, jusT tat yOu urself cant see tHem. heheX. jiA yoU fOr Os wOrs!!! -pAt pAt-

tO wOng weI piG:
Wei lAi de Da mEi nü! hahaZ... yOu have been a reALLy smArt gAL, Just thAt yOu aRE toO lazY le.. be moRE hardworking.. anD i thiNk yOu wiLL be aBle to soAr! heheZ. lUcks!

tO crysTal akA pinGU:
hEYz...i lIke yOur eyes. thEy are sO big and round and CRYSTAL clear. hahZ. yOu have beeN a goOd fren too, a goOd freN whO gives mE advice on relatiOnship. i AppreciaTE it a lOt. thaNz~!jIA yOu fOr Os!

tO the aBove pPl:
juST wannnE say a BIG BIG BIG BIG thanZ to yOu peePx again!! -arigaTo~ =)

siAnz...

2004-06-03T11:38:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. Tmr goin to Cineleisure to buy tiX for the clAss fOr the mOvie HarRY pOTter... hahA.. kINda lame la.. gO there jUs to bUy tiX. hMMmm.. mayBe cAn gO shOp a liTtle. iT wOuld bE stuPid tO shOp alOne la... buT it woulD be even mOre stupid if i were tO gO there, buY the tiX and gO hOme. wasTe tiMe siA. hmmmMMm.. wantED TO BuY A SLiNG BaG.. CoZ tHe presEnt onE is kindA olD le.. bUt.. nO baG seeMs to favOur me. hehe...

hMmmmm...goIng swiMMing with Wei Pig thiS sAt mOrning. hehe.. sO fUN. goNna trY swimmIng 10 laps at One gO! =sTupid pIg= whEn dO yOu wanne gO swimmIng agAin? huh? heh.. teLL me k?

hmmm.. tHis feW dAys feeL kindA nuMb..duNoe whY. weLL... hOpE i can finish uP my hOlz hOmewOrk bY the tiMe we gO kuAntan, sO that i cAn staRt reviSiOn afTer cOming baCk frOm kUantan. hAve to pia real hard Le.

hmmm.. tHInk i am gOing tO gO on a diet sOOn. gOing to stOp drinking soft drinks and all those sweet stuffs. goIng to stOp eatinG chOcolatEs. goIng to eat mOre fruits and vege. heheZ. thIs hOls is kinda bOring. tinK i gOing tO carRy on witH my maths and bIo hOmewoRK for nOw. hehe.. mayBE goin to do the Chinese worksheets daT teAcher juS gAve us. hOpe it dosEn rain later... wAnne plAy bbAll.. sian.. alOne again... hahahaz... i haVe becOme a Lone rAngEr! wahahahAZ.