_____im no longer behind u...*

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I made a bIg decisiOn yesterday when I brought up the EDB scholarshiP to my mom during breakfast. I have decided to go for the scholarshIp after A levels(if I do well) and I will moSt probably be heading towards Germany to study for a few years and after tat, a 5-year bond with EDB. I think its not a bad idea. I get to be on a scholarshiP that will not onlY prevent my mom's pocket from being buRnt a bIg hoLe buT also I get to stUDy the subjeCt that I am whoLLy passionate abOUt. I have loNg wanted to study in the mEdicine fiEld and wanted to be a docTor who wears whITe robes and having the stethoscope arnd the neck.. bUt upon deepest thouGhts.. I think its really a toUGh fight to get into that field, esp when there are many many talents and smarties out there... Will I ever get a place? NO.. i guess. AFter so many years of working towards my ambition tat seems so far-fetched, I think its tiMe for me to divert my attention to something that is far more practical. I don't think I will have the time to study so many years and if I really want to make it bIg as a doctor.. I need to have not only motivation but also the courage to face liFe. Why so? If I choose to become a doctor who works in a hospital where I will face the different aspects of life, it will be kind of interesting but at the same time, lamenting. Why so again? I am a really sensitive and sentimental person and being so, I don't think I can work in an environment where you see patients who suffer from chronic illnesses struggling to live everyday. that is so heartwrenching and pains the heart of all.

Im really glad that I did not give up on German, which is my third language. It has been a tough rouTe to struggle with, since I had to attend lessons twice a week for four straight years during seC liFe. Reaching home at 8 plus twice a week has been really tiring, not forgeting I had a CCA, Choir, to commit too. RushiNg from clementi to bIshan and rushIng home from bIshan to hOme was really exhaustive to the mind. Many a times, life got so hectic that I was really going to fall off the cliff. Remember there was once when I hid under my bed and cried... telling my moM that I din want to continue studying German anymoRe. ( tat was the beginning of sec two I tink) My choir practices and German lessons clashed and I din want to have a transfer to another class that meant separation of me from wei ting and eileen and my other frenz in sec 1 class. I was really feelIng vEry tired of all those 'gruelling' hours in school and yet after that, I have to go for lessons at bIShan. hA. still rem vaguely that there was only a day when i was free after sch in sec 2. bUt i Guess all these yrs of struggling with this language have been kind of worthwhiLe? Determination and perseverance really plAy a bIg role in everything I realise. So yeah.. at the end of the day... I hOpe i can really master German and hoPe i will be ablE to get the scholarshIp and go germany to study for my degree. It will be a painfuL decision to make since I will definitely miss home and my frenZ of coz. bUt.. i dont think Im left with many choices? hahaZ. just have to give up certain thiNgs for my goal in lIFe i guess.

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

11:07 AM

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1 Comments:

hmm. is this the time to make such a decision?

it's time to work hard and make it an aim to work towards to. it's not easy girl, it's not going to be easy. heh. we all know that. and you know what. i'm always behind you ok. (: just follow your dreams and be happy. don't be too stressed my dear. heh!

yepp. my exbio tutor (J3) is going germany to study something related to bio anyway. she's damn zai la. sometimes i wish i can be like her. out of point, nvm.

yep. so jia you ok!

By feL, at 11:33 PM

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

9:20 PM

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1 Comments:

dun u think we are so pweety? HAHAHA.

By Anonymous, at 8:10 PM

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Monday, July 18, 2005

nan hUa dinner was great and fun! hAd fun!!=))) toOK a lot a lot of photos! hEhz.. wanted to add MORE photos de.. den like cannot leh. NVm lar.. hahaZ.. I will upload more in the next entry soon!!=)

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:03 PM

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Monday, July 04, 2005

Aren't these pictures simply sweet and sensational? =)

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

12:27 PM

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1 Comments:

lol! i dunnoe how to xing shang. like the mountain one though. (=

By feL, at 9:43 PM

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Sunday, July 03, 2005

muahahahahahA! It was a great day yesterday!! yay! Met up with yy, sw, yh and ym ytd at sOMerset mrt! aCt wanted to watch Initial D at Cineplex but CineplEx doesn offer chinese movies! arghs.. so went to Lido instead. hahaZX... lOls. on the way to Lido... SW found out that there are free cans of whiTe tea being given away! lOls.. so all of us went to take a can each and walked on to Lido. It tastes kinda nice and refreshing at first but when u try sipping every drop of it, you will feel a bit tired of that taste. DaTs wat yy thinks so to! But nevertheless.. free drinks to quench my thirst! Singapore is way too humid and the sweltering hot weather can just simply make me feel suffocating.. =// hahaz.. too exaggerating. lols. And yeah.. we bOt the 3p.m. tickets for Initial D. hhohoho.. den we went to have lunch. hEe.. wanted to have lunch at DOME ( yy's Fa Guo Lang Jiu DOM) LOls.. hahahZ.. but it was under renovation. but its a good thing coz i tink its expensive to eat there! hEe.. so in end, I ate long johN new spicY lemon fish! That tasted quite nice. =) haha.. den the five of us were sitting there... chatting and eating at the same time. Its really a wonderful feeling to meet up with old frenz! ( actually.. frenz are never categorized into categories on whether they are old or new.. bUt... hahaZ>. its easier to bring across the idea) hahazx. it was kinda the first time that I go out with the four of them! It was really nice I think! We seem to be so close! hahazX. its good.. isn't it? Thot we will not be able to hang out ever since me and yy become singles again... bUt.. the Frenship is alweez there, never fades away!woah.. ytD den i Found out tat SW is actually.. so bLur! omg.. hahaz.. really had good laughs throughout the whole day! thanZ to her blurness!!1 hahhzx... ( shall not mention her blurness here.. hahaZ.. privacy! heEe... )

Initial D is damn nice! MUST WATCH! I actually went gaga over Edison Chen during the movie.. u caN act hear pPl shrilling and 'whining' on how cuTe edison and jay chou are during the movie! hahaz..the movie was cuTE and funny lar... laughed like mad many times. hahazx..

den we went to watch the 6 year old drummer perform by the street! he is so cute!! and talented of cox! hahahz.. so cute lor! eyes big big de.. hee.. it really requires a lotyt of courage to perform at orchard road ... esp when u are so young and the audience is never ending!

yeap. Den we ended the day taking nP at the Heeren. it was fun... lOls.. they made me wear coconut shells. hahahahaz.. lOls.. ;P fun fun fun! =))

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

11:37 AM

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1 Comments:

haha. nice pic! =) glad you enjoyed yourself~

EDISON!!

By feL, at 9:51 PM

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Friday, July 01, 2005

hahahahahahaahhaZX. coMmon tesTs are finaLLy over! lOls. act mine ended pretty fast on Tuesday.. but i lazy to blog la. Tat explains why Im blogging like three days after the 'beautiful ending' of my common tests. ARghs. Wad can i comment after having sitted for the papers in Nj? The papers are indeed 'magnificently' set and they greatly created an impact in me, impressed upon me that I have to work a zillion times harder for the pRomos..O.o arghs. The chem paper was awfully difficult man! OMg. This is the first time I tink Chemistry is like Physics to me.. lOls.. Dunnoe how to apply the things I learnt. HAHAHA. And the mCq paper was a KILLER shARk! arghs. I had to race with a timeframe of 30 mins to complete a set of 2o stuPid analytic questions. goSH. Everything jsut relapse into a tiKam scenario la.. as much as I would like to thiNk further for almost every qn. =/ its really hard. siGhzx. Just hOpe for a pass like 45 for chEmistry. (hOpeless dudette trying to cling onto the thiN ray of light that she obviously cant becoz she is too heavy!) lOls

mAths. sIghz. another headache la! the paper was kiLLer too! it is like ripPing off flesh from poOr me! goSh goSh. So many parts and questions to attempt! And every question is so tedious! HOW TO DO WELL?? or even have decent passing grade.. HAIZ. so sad. =( must practise mORE man.

oKie. Ytd i went shOpping at far east plaZa! hahaahZ.. boT a few apparels and of coz.. my all time favourite! EARRINGS!!! hahahz.. I wanted to buy necklaces too.. BUT... There are like SO many to BUY!?!? How to BUy?!? lOls.. so have to thInk carefullY first.. heheheh. i bot a peacock feather earring! HAHAH. its damn bIg and gorgeous! loLs. . so happy! shalalalalalA!BUT.. there was one thing that PISSED ME OFF LIKE NEVER B4! aRghs. this stuPid sHOp by the name of 'Weart' or "wearart' .. wadever it is called, PLS dun eveRY pATronise that shOp again. The sales women there are damn crude and horrible! They are prejudiced against students and of coz FAT PPL LIKE ME! ARgg... U can never knOw how horrible can they resort to when they want to force you to buy their apparels. AFter i tried on two tops.. that i obviously tink they dont suit me, i returned them to one of the saleswomen in that shop. The next thing she said to me..it goes like this.. '' Honestly, ppl like you will find it difficult to buy clothes from any other shops as you are fat. '' I was lIke.. puFfing mad oredi lOR! ..... Am i like.. really TAT fat?!?!? till there is like.. almsot NOTHinG that i can fit in?!?!!? oMg. i was jsut so angry and walked out of the shop with my fren wei wei and both of us swear that we will NEVER patronize the shop again. She was also very pissed. haha.. coz they kept saying that students like us like to foOl arnd in shOps, like trying on new shirts or wadever jsut for the fun of it. =.= ( well... we really had smth in mind to buy lor.. ) baH! heck them! haha. anywayz.. wei wei and I had fun shOpping yTd. lOls. HEe..

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

11:25 AM

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1 Comments:

ahh!! another person to remind me that my blocks have yet to end. =( and cant play much after blocks. there's physics spa, chem lect test and LOADS of tutorial.

anyway, what a sucky shop. what sucky papers. hahaha.

take caree!

By feL, at 6:55 PM

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