_____im no longer behind u...*

Friday, June 24, 2005

Is the windmiLL nice? I am considered quite an ardent lover of windmill I guess. haha. Everytime I pass by Holland V, I will just lOok at the windmiLL and I will spring into great rapture and eyes will start beaming with joY. I don't know why I like to lOok at windmiLLs so much but I just think it gives me a sense of tranquility. =)) Woah. Cannot imagine if I were to go Holland for a tour. haha. I bet I will be takiNg piCtures wiTH every windmiLL i see by the road.

Well well well... I think there is a great change in me! I used to hate reading newspaper but now, I absolutely love it! Why the big change then? hMm.. I think that reading the newspapers or magazines like TIME, Newsweek, readers' digest really helps me gain knowledge more widely and to knOw the world better. Sometimes it may be boring to read some long and wordy articles and one may start whining how boring it is but I guess it all starts like this. You have to endure reading something that you don't really like at first and progress from there. Its all in the mind I guess.The gem is for you to uncover!

I am sure many people around our age don't really read the newspapers or whatsoever. They find it a bore and a chore to do so. I will agree with you if I am still lamenting over how difficult it is to sit down for an hour or more to read something. Sometimes some articles are really interest provoking and I really take great joy in reading them! You get to know what is going on in the scientific field and you get to know more about different countries. This makes me feel much more connected to the world. Sometimes, I feel that reading up helps to lighten up things, e.g., making one feel less forlorn. learn to enjoy reading! It helps a lot!=))

oh yah. I have learnt how to overcome obstacles that appear on my path. =)) I have to continue with my life and move on with the world. I prefer walking than to stand at the same place forever. Indeed, its a paradox that standing is more tiring than walking buT if you were to wait at the same place for something that will never happen, it wears out the heart. Continue walking will definitely allow me to gain more. I was drowning in my own inner world but now, I have struggled for a new life for myself! It roCks big time! Memories will never recede and they will keep on coming back into my life but I guess its all inevitable. Just have to take it and walk on. I am sure I will be able to find the goLden pot at the end of the rainbOw. I will find my rightful happiness that belongs to me in the future. =))

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:29 AM

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1 Comments:

happy for you (: -hugs-

By feL, at 4:24 PM

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Monday, June 20, 2005

I have been reading other people's blog these few days. I mean, blOgs that are kind of recogniZed and noted for their boldness or uniqueness. What should I say then... hmMm.. I think I learnt more about the society in Singapore. haha. I read a blog on a girl who is filthy rich. really really THAT freaking riCh. hEr family has got 7 cars and her hOuse is gigantic? haha. Her life is really near to perfection I guess.. She has got a cuTe and caring and loVing boyfriend and she gets whatever she wants. Can you imagine?? One can spend so muCh money like $1, 400 on a handbaG?? gOSh. I will never do that. haha. I don't reaLLy like to have such an extravagant liFe. For me, I just want to have a happy life that I can live and enjoy myself to MY fullest. My fullest would mean being able to travel around the world when I can, achieving something great and satisfactory in my life, bringing a comfortable life to my family and to builD a loving familY wiTh my future HubBy. That s all I guess. I won't need branded goODs from Chanel or whatever to bring 'life' into my life. They juSt don't attract me. lOLs. I just feel that her blOg tells me that the gap between the poor and rich in Singapore is still as wide. While people are struggling for their every day life, trying to get a hOme of their own, people like her and her family are splurging like craZy. Sometimes I really wonder, a chiLd who gets whatever he or she wants since young is really spoiLt. Once spoiLt, its hard to turn back. HMmmm. no offence.

MoneY is really a bIG factoR in thiS world. If you don't have it, you won't get the enjoyment. Is this the cruel truth? Personally, i think money do play quite a biG rOle to make things woRk out but on the other hand, I feel that when moNey don't play a part in our lives, it may make things better? Look at the past achievers. Some are not even rich but actually really poor but they really had a liFe of their own! They created impacts to the world and had uncountable achievements! I think its more awesome in this way, better than playing with the money factor.

lOok at Saudi Arabia. Its a paradox that in some region, while people are so damn wealthy, indulging in the realm of endless flow of cash, some are actually 'fighting' with endless poverty to liVe like a homosapien.

I don't deny that I don't like shopping, since shopping requires moNEy to be spent. haha. Normally, I will just window shop first and really thInk carefully before I buy anything. The feeling really sucks if you discover that you bot the wrong things. Money is really hard to earn. ReallY . We must save when we can and use it wisely.

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:52 AM

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1 Comments:

hey joan. did u read MY blog? no rite?! i noe u didn't. boohoo...
nvm..well, guess wat. when i first read this post i was like ?huh? wat is joan talking about? i must ve gone wrong blog...haha. well. money is a big prob. haha. think very far leh you...i was even more shocked when i saw :saudi arabia. i was *huh huh*..
HAHAAA
joan: live a wonderful, fruitful, funfilled life. wish u all the best always.
tell u wat...last night i had a real wierd dream. about ruggers. i dreamt that i ran the first against the touch ruggers...so damn proud abt myself in front of all the ruggers(incl the touch and non-touch-u get wat i mean) .hahahaaahaahaaa
i ve not yet seen acjc's touch ruggers...but i dun think they'll be of any good.(seriously).haha
joan...jia you! rock on...

By Anonymous, at 7:16 PM

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Saturday, June 18, 2005

Today has been quite a boring day for me. haha. These few days I have been planning for my trip to Germany this dEc hols.. woAh.. plan till i headache man. =(( Germany so bIg!! The moment I see the map, I just feel like sleeping forever. haha.. lOls.

O well.. i mISs toUCh rug trainings! woAh. i actually mISs the gruelling days under the scorching hot sun !!anD of Coz, i miss the touCh ruggers, especially yuqi, qi ying, small, wei wei, jing yi, angelA, fel fel, jing and hUi( the tWins), cHOck and etc etc... lOls. We are really bonded I guess! hEe. Hmm.. lOAds of fun we hAve together man! n yes.. yuqi, i see your tag. thanz a lOt!! Im so touChed man... tears all brimming in my eyes oredi... yea! I will be happy and move on! Thanz a lOt gaL! I know you all will be there for mE! hEe.

SheeSH.. dIE.. still lEft more den half of wad i shuD study to studY. oh-no! this is bad, terrible and awful!! yEeks! siGhz. left one week to mUg like mad. Will I be able to catCh up on time..?? ....

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:19 PM

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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Living in a world of lies

I think I am living in a world of facade. Why must I put on a false front, telling him that I have already gotten over him? Its inflicting pain into my heart and rubbing salt onto the wound but do I have another choice? Absolutely no! I can only play hide-and-seek with my own feelings. The day I lost him was the day when I lost my emotions too. From then on, I only know how to put up a false front in front of friends. Sometimes, I do feel really happy due to the heart-warming group of friends that I have but at times, I am just putting up a false front, telling people that I am perfectly fine. If you want me to forget about you and move on with life, I will tell you its hard with hurdles and obstacles. So far, I have only managed to overcome a meagre of the hurdles and obstacles that obstruct the path to forgetting you totally. O well, it seems that you have already gotten over me totally. Good for you but regretfully, I think it makes me think that I did not mean that much to you. Seriously, I need time to climb out of this crater of depression. Its ain't easy but I know I have got to try. However, its going to take ages...

Blame it on me being too sentimental or childish but I refuse to get over someone who meant so much to me so easily. I even thought that first love works out at some times... Jsut a wishful part of my thinking I guess. But I will still wish you all the best and care for you as a friend. Hope you accept it as it is. I won't habour any hope, coz hoping kills.

Having hope may be a good thing but when it dies, one seems to undergo another tremendous attack on the mind or soul or heart. Its really exhaustive to cling onto hope. No wonder people describe hope as a thin ray of light. I will describe it as a thin rope that is being thrown into a cave to save people. ONce the rope is ripped and thorn, everyone who is left in the cave will fall to his or her death. yEA.. I am one who is struggling with the thin rope. Will I be able to climb successfully out of the cave? I really don't know. Up to my will.

bTw, don't you think the society is slowly transforming into a society of fake reality? People are all using artificial means to improve their looks or using 'super duper magic potion' to make one looks younger. Not only that, more and more guys are becoming gays. hMMm. Upside down, topsy turvy. goSh~

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

8:01 PM

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1 Comments:

ahhh. joan joan. i dunnoe what to say..

no one expects you to get over him so quickly, really.. and sometimes you dont have to put up a strong front. not in front of us. not in front of your close friends. yeah, it's hard for us to be sensitive all times, it's not easy to avoid him whenever we see him, but... i think time would heal all wounds. keep yourself busy, that will keep him away from your thoughts..

-hugs- c'mon joan. you're a mon. a strong mon. [= don't worry too much!!!

By feL, at 6:37 PM

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Sunday, June 05, 2005

woOohoo! NJ touch ruggerS roCk!!! We got the cUps runnErs-uP! tee HEe! so haPPy! though i was not in the team, we are alweez a team working towards a common goal! We are indeed made up of all shapes and siZes! hahaZX. hahaz.. i finAlly made myself to update my bLoggY. So damn long never bLog le.. hahaZ.. i tink about one month le ba. Trainings had been really vigorous these few weeks and we are having our touch ruG camp next week! hee.. lOoking forward to it man! nJ toUch ruggers roCk all the waY man!!! =)) proUd to be part of it! Shall takE an oAth.

Me, Joan KSQ, will commit myself fully to touch rug no matter wad happens.
I shall stay with my ruggers all the way
Even if there are obstacles and hurdles on the way
I shall kick them all away
Last of all, I belong to nJ touch rug and nJ touCh rug has got mE!~

haha.. okIe.. i knoW its lame. but i really loVe touCh rug. =) I will train even harder to play better!!

sighz. nj touCh ruggers j1s did well in the com but the j2s din. Feel sorry fer them coz they really trained very hard. Hope they will recover from tat soon! Nj touCh ruggers j2s will alweez be the best of all!!!

WoAh. So june holS is here oredi. ha. maN. caNt imagine how on earth am I going to cope with the common tests when sch opens. oOops. hahaZX.gonNA start mugging!!!!

hoho. sidetrack a bIt. Training at pAdang is really coOl man! the first time we went there to train, we caught a glimpse of fireworks at esplanade! omg. damN gorgeous!So nice! Now i realise how much i lOVe looking at fireworks man. =PP Den the next training was equally great too. We got background music sia. hahaZ. (due to NDP preparation i tink) wOohhooo.. i wanne go be a motivator leh!! hahahZ>. so fun!! bUt siGhz.. i wont have the time. =(

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

7:41 PM

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1 Comments:

great that you're having so much fun. (:

jia you

By feL, at 10:09 PM

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