_____im no longer behind u...*

Sunday, February 20, 2005

hm... getting tired of stuDying maths... arghs.. so here am i.. typing calmly away..

hMm... Im glad tat i din cry as much as ytd... I cried for the whole day ytd. Whatever I did, i cried. Even when I ate, I started to tear. I also did not have much appetite. Was thinking about stuffs. The more I think, more sad I became. I looked through the letters and stuffs.. I cried even worse. My tears were so big and fat. In a few seconds, my cheeks went wet. After drying my cheeks with tissue papers, I managed to calm down a bit.. but after tat, i started to cry again. it might sound a bit funny.. but definitely.. its not.. its pure sadness...

I really din expect things to turn out like this.. but since it has happened, I shall take it as it is. I tried to study many times. I sat down at my table. I did a question. After tat, I looked up and stared at the sky. Unknowingly, tears poured out. I stared blankly for a very long time. I saw the cotton-like clouds. I saw an eagle soaring high. I saw the baby blue sky. The trees swayed and danced with the wind. Everything was beautiful but I just felt empty. Suddenly, everything changed. The sky became overcast. THe clouds turned black and grey. The eagle flew away. The trees seemed to be swaying even harder.. so violently. I felt so lonely all of a sudden. I felt so scared. Suddenly my world became pitch darkness. I don know how to describe the feeling inside me. I din smile for the whole day ytd. When the dark sky took over, I looked at the sky. I saw a bright star. It was sparkling so brightly up there.. I started to ask why. wHy...? why.... why!!! i was in an agony. I know I should'nt cry at all.. but my tears gave way anyway. i felt my heart being removed by an invisible force. Different emotions left me.. but only the sadness lingered arnd.

hm.. Well.. tat was ytd..tat was how terrible i felt. Today, Im feeling better. Things are gonna be different now.. But guess.. i hafta move on no matter wad. No doubt, the good memories we had will alweez be remembered by me. I wud be happy to tink of them but at the same time, im also overcome by sorrow. THe past was great... when he belongs to me. but now.. he doesen belong to me anymore.. hm.. really painful... but i guess im feeling much more better den ytd.. thanX for everything u had done for me.. BEst frenz we will be. =) I will remember tat I was loved and I loved b4. thnZ lotx.

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

8:09 PM

______________________________________________

19 Comments:

To whoever is reading this entry, Im really feeling better den ytd.. just tat im stil sad. cant help it. sorry. =/huGs to whoever is reading this entry!!

-Joan-

By Joan, at 8:39 PM

Sometimes things happen that don't seem fair, and that are hard to understand. I know how sad you must be feeling right now. If you're feeling scared or lonely, just remember that I'll be there for you. Cheer up girl, mummy loves u.

By Anonymous, at 11:14 AM

gal, although i don't really know what had happened, but i really think you must cheer up. Smile kz,coz a smile brightens everyone's day. And I love to see that joyful Joan again.
Love you always,
wEnyAn

By Anonymous, at 8:20 PM

hey ger... u r nt alone wor.. rmb this.. we'l b wiv u de.... smile alwaes!! i wan tt bubbly little joan bac :)

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