_____im no longer behind u...*

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Everything's over.. really over.. the lOVe that lasted for 11 months.. is gone for ever and ever..

I have lost him. I cant imagine how my days will be like without him.. but nevertheless.. I will try to stay strong.. Things are not going to be the same anymore. THe feeling is horrible. SO bitter. I hope I can stand up again. There is no more a thing call second chance but I wont harp on it anyway. Things turned out like this but nobody can help it. Sometimes, I feel so helpless. I help others but I cant help myself. So ironic.

At the beginning of the 11 months, it was all so sweet and purely sugary. I felt so loved. I felt that I was flying. Now.. I feel that I just dropped into a deep hole that is filled with muddy water. I feel suffocating. My wings got wet and torn. I am not able to fly anymore. My heart is too heavy to allow me to take flight anymore. Tears cascaded out of my turgid eyes. They fell like nobody's business. Nobody is there to hold my tears anymore. I feel so devastated. I am searching for my source of light in my world of darkness with my pain and sorrow. Its tough.. needless to say. But I will make it I hope. I hope I will recover from it very soon but its not going to be easy. It has been great to have tasted love. But now, its all so bitter...

I will carry the fond memories we had with me til I die. I don know whether I should or not because the moment I think about them, I will feel abject again. All those beautiful days... i will rem in my heart. days at kuantan.. days at ECP... days when we were walking home from sch together.. days when we toked to each other over the phone.. days when we really were in love... Ill alweez rem them ... never forget...

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:40 AM

______________________________________________

5 Comments:

tears arent meant to be hold..
they are meant to be wiped away and replace with a smile!

By Anonymous, at 11:54 AM

All i have to say is have some faith. Love doesn't come easy. And if he is the one for u, then things will happen, If it's meant to be, it will be. There's this other guy out there who is not going to judge you on your appearance, but instead he will be looking for your heart. Cheer up! Life has a lot coming for you. This is just a little bump in the road.

By Anonymous, at 5:40 PM

HuggieX!!! dun sad le, try to move on k... =)

By Anonymous, at 5:54 PM

no matter wad happenz.. rest assured u still have lotz n lotz of frenz who care n worry for u .. so pls tc of urself.. n .. get on wif life.. it may be tough.. but i know u r strong n u can def do it.. joan is not a piglet animore.. she has grown up.. she is a .. sow.. .hmmz.. ok.. not farni.. juz tryin to cheer u up.. so ..feel free to call me to tok etc etc.. frenz foreva.. :)

hamham

By Anonymous, at 10:01 PM

sweetie. we must be strong.

By Anonymous, at 10:00 AM