_____im no longer behind u...*

Saturday, September 25, 2004

I swear I am going mad soon. There will soon be a disease call 'Mad Joan Disease'. hahaZ. This disease is caused by the big set back during the Prelims exams. Joan was shocked and freaked out by the questions.

siGh. Bio. I tot I could actually try to score an A1 for it. My hope is totally gone for Bio. The dream of getting an A1 for Bio is totally smashed. aH! The more demoralizing thing is the moment I read Kegan's blOg. oMg. He aims for a score of 61/80 for biO p2. omG. thAts horrendously hiGh. hahaZ. After I read his blOg and saw his aims for those papers.... my eyes almost gorged out. hmm. perhaps his 'difficult' is my 'borderline passing'? omG lor. biO p2.. i am totally hoPEless. siGhz. I swear I studied everything. but i tink the problem with me is that I was kinda freaked out by the qns when I am doing it. siGh. nVm. I shall work even harder. Sometimes I think, whether it's because I work too hard then thoughts too confused that cause me to do badly or not so well. siGh. maybe its true for me. But if I dun work hard, i will do as badly too. hahZ. I am starting to lose hoPes oredi.

The thing that i can confirm is that I am not a smart gal. I am actually a bit dumb or quite dumb or very dumb. I cant think properly and clearly at times. I cant figure out things correctly many a times. I need more time I guess. Pls ppl.. dun tink I am smart. I am just pure hardworking dats all. I can twist along with the questions only at certain times.. but many a times, I will be screwed by them. hahaZ. bIo is one of my fav. subjEcts. and yet I am goin to get my first B this time. isnt this really disheartening? I am totally drained by all these exams. These exams evoked fear out of me and i no longer harness any high hoPes for any subjEct. maybe I am a person who has very little confidence in myself.. but i guess as the exams go on, I become more and more sick and tired of them.

I dun like ppl to think that i am smart la. Coz i am not at all. Ppl tink i will do well when i say i wont. well... when i say i wont do well, it really means that I wont do well. My so called 'easy'.. means i can score a mere A1 for that paper. Not high As!!!! hahaz. guess my aims aren't that high.

~scReamS~~~

how i wish everything will go away quickly. I seriously need some serenity to calm myself down and to prepare for the Os ahead. -Sad- Dun dare to take back any results. Guess I will just be facing another biG set bAck.

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

11:20 AM

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3 Comments:

joan, believe in urself, u can do it!
pls believe that u r smart, u really are..
dont be dishearten by these small obstacles along the road
there r always time when we dont meet our own expectations so dont be bothered by it k?
and one more thing..
live ur life without comparin with that of another, u will be really happy
dont worry too much lah!

By Anonymous, at 3:03 PM

c'mon joan. i'm not smart either. but you know what? at least you're hardworking. not like so assholes. who thinks being smart is enough.

being smart doesn't equate to being dumb. if you're dumb, you can work a thousand times harder and still don't get it. pls, qin neng bu zuo is crap.

i love biology too. i wasn't given bio. i was given lit to come to 3/3. eileen was given lit and i was given bio. if i didn't freakingly insist that i want bio i won't even be in this class girl. bio, i can say, is the only subject i have passion for. i don't even know if i can do well.

the fate is in God's hand. leave it to Him. wait patiently, and He will fulfill your dreams.

By feL, at 12:27 PM

By Anonymous, at 11:03 AM