_____im no longer behind u...*

Sunday, August 08, 2004

hmm... Just finished reading some cHinese, so decided to bLog foR a whIle. hehZ.

i shall give a brief summary of waD i did yTd[sAt]
weLL, in the mOrning, i went back tO sch fOr orAl practiCe wiTh oNGymOn with an airy moOd. wOah. fiRst time the schOol was almOst void of peOple. hahaZ. reaLLy miss thE sAts wheN the atmosphere wAs hIgh, when many peOple went bacK to scHOol foR ccA and waD nOt. siGhz. suddenLy feLt very empty. hmm.. i was the secOnd 'candidate' fOr the orAl thiNGy. haahZ. Miss Ong gave me 30/40. okie la.. i tinK. nOt toO bad. she sAid that i read too fast for the passage and fOr tat, i was penalised.. hahaZ. [okIe. better take note. DUN READ TOO FAST FOR THE PASSAGE. TAKE YOUR TIME!] hahaZ. hmMm. after tat went to staff roOm to help onGymOn tidy up her taBle. hahaZ. the mOment i saw her table, I was stupefied. hahaZ. her tabLe... is just like the aftermath of a landslide. simPly horribLe! hahZ. reminded me Of a dOc i used to visit. hahaZ.. but greAt jOan manage tO help her tidy uP her taBLe bY stacking up the worksheets neatly class by class. hehZ. nOw.. iT is definitely muCh more better. =P well.. i reaLLy sympathise with her. She has tonNes of work to dO and heapS of workSheets tO marK. hahZ. oMg lor.

okiE. afTEr an hOur of laborious chOre, i ruShed to my piAno teacher's hOuse for pianO lesson. hahaz. reached hEr houSe late. hehZ. she coMmented thaT i have impRoved a lOt in my plAying and she seemed to be pleased. so..that naturally boosted my morale in oNe way or anOther. =) i pRoMise i will give in all my best for my pianO grade8 exam! [left witH one week and twO days]

in the afternoOn, i went bacK to my grandma's hoUse. well... dat really kinDa changed my airy moOd to a lamenting one. siGhz. lOoking at my grandmother, i really feel the stinging pain in my heart. I feel so helpless when i see her in a really awful state.

-she lookEd lethargic-
-her skin darkens everytime i see her- [nOt a goOd siGn]
-her eyes were void of expressions-[guess she is weary of being buffeted by life]
-her head is balding-
-her stoMach is bulging likE an inflated ballOon[for a moMent i tot she has Kwarshiokor- a disease that is due to the lack of proteins, charaterised by swollen stomachs etc.]
I stOle a surreptitious glance at her. i never wanted to scrutinize at her for more than a minute. I feared that i will tear in front of her. every time i look at her faltering body, i will be awashed with sorrow. I guess she has long effete. her sufferings are beyOnd woRds. She has undergoNe so many majOr operations that lasted for hOurs. There was oNce i really teared in froNt of her. That was when she was lying on the hoSpital bed, waiting for the amputation of her the other leg. She lookeD really sombre, and i couLd feel that the inner her was yelling for help.
It wouLd be goOd for her if she leaves the worLd now. I am not being crude, but this is wad i tink is the best solution for her. Her illness is a prolonged one, and no doctors have a cure for her too. She just have to wait for death... [it really pains me. as i waved goodbye to her.. she returned a wave of her hand, that was so languid.... ]

[SuN]
hmm.. toDay gonnA go ouT with my mom and siblIngs to EsplaNAde. to see fiRewoRkS. hahaahZ. gonna have some fun i guess... =)

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

12:36 PM

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5 Comments:

hey gurL. sorrie i couldn't be there to help you pack as well. hahas.

jia you for your piano k [= hee must be happy that your teacher praised you right?! well, you deserve it! hee. all the best yah?

[[huggs]] birth, illness, sickness, death, ... these are all part of life. she's just going thru' it before we are. dun think too much k. it's of course natural to feel sad, but it shouldn't affect you TOO MUCH that you can hardly concentrate on anything else, k?

take care. hippo is always here for donglet.

By feL, at 1:25 PM

sorry to hear about your grandma. i guess that's why some people promote euthanasia (mercy killing) because they can't abide their family members or friends dying slowly and suffering. *hugs* all is fate. perhaps she'll be happier when she returns to God. jia you for your piano kz? or else i will go and slice you up and barbecue you...

By zx, at 1:28 PM

sighh. i feel so sad about your granny. be strong k.. good luck for you piano exams! don't think it'll be a prob since your piano teacher thinks you play excellently. =) and have fun with the fireworks tonite! god bless!
-yayun =D

By Anonymous, at 3:40 PM

just dropping by...

By Anonymous, at 5:34 PM

well.. at least u still hav yr grand ma, and tts gd. i didnt enven meet my grand ma cuz she died b4 i was born...

By Anonymous, at 11:53 AM