_____im no longer behind u...*

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Today, I went back to my grandma's house as usual. It is a place where I find solace. I really love the placidity there.I can relax and let my thoughts run as wild as they could. It is a place where I used to play like a juvenile, get chased by my grandma with a cane in her wrinkled hands and etc. It is a place that brought me up, until the day I stepped into secondary school. It is a place where I have lots of fond memories that are still etched in my mind.

I love taking a stroll around the neighbourhood where my grandma's house is situated. I remembered when I was young, I always go to Krangi War Memorial that is just a stone's throw away from my grandma's house. That place may sound creepy and send tendrils to hearts, but I feel that it is a place where I love to go. It is a quiet place where the trees danced with the breeze. I used to run about the trees over there while playing with my mom. My grandpa would bring us there too, and the cemetry that was as dead as silence would eventually be filled up with my cousins and my laughter. It is a good place to play catching. =)

My grandparents really love me a lot. They are always so caring and loving, especially to me. ( Not that I want to praise myself or what, but that is the truth) They always gorge me with food until my stomach couldnt take it anymore. Now, looking at my grandma, sadness just sweeps across me. Her face is etched with sorrow. Snarl of agony spreads over her face. From her eyes, I know she is in great pain. This pain has been with her for years, and as days pass, it gets deeper and deeper into her faltering body, and the degree gets larger too. It shrivels my heart to see her in this state. She is now dependent on her wheelchair, and of course, my dearest grandpa. I cannot bring myself to look into her eyes, as I know if I do, my cheeks will go wet. She is even starting to lose her voice now. She cant speak as well as before. Her memory is failing her too. I feel so useless. I cant do anything to help her, only praying hard for her everyday.

I really want to tell everyone how great my grandpa is. He is still as strong as ever, even if he has to take care of my grandma every single hour and to do some housechores. My grandpa, he himself is not that pink in health, he has got leg problems, but he is always by my grandma's side. He has to wake up at least three times every night to carry her onto the wheelchair and bring her to the toilet. When my grandma's conditions get worse, he has to bring her to and fro the hospital almost everyday. Isnt this is the kind of love everyone hopes for in their future?

No matter how ill you are, there is still someone who looks after you regardless of how tedious the tasks are?

Life gets tough at times. Life is short too. But if you are willing to add some other ingredients into it to spice it up a little, life will not be as short as it seems to be. We gain experience as we go and learn valuable lessons. We must never be tied down by anything in life. Just like what my grandparents have done... cherishing the years they are left with being together... =)

Joan

aLwAeS bEsIdE yOu

10:45 PM

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5 Comments:

i think your grandparents very sweeet.. *hUgs. don't think too much ba.. let nature take its course. i really admire you. you are so close to your mom and you have such loving grandparents. i know my grandma hates me but i don't care. because i don't respect her. you know why.. oh well.. be thankful okies? (: (though i already know you are) don't be too sad.. because ageing and getting sick is part of the process called life.. everyone experiences it. time will come when your grandparents live without pain. *hugs

By feL, at 11:49 PM

~touched~...take it easy pigster...
this is all part of life...-+up!d pig

By Anonymous, at 1:14 PM

hmm...think u are v blessed, i only got to see one of my grandparents when i was borned... and i didn't spend much time when she lived her last 11yrs... furthermore, we can't communicate!! she speaks dialect but i don't! hmm... dun think so much k... u're all so blessed!! =) *-waiting-*

By Anonymous, at 5:29 PM

helllooo. =D cool blog! nice piggyy! x)

By Jemima PuddleDuck, at 5:37 PM

hihi. truly envy you for having such great grandparents. i cant communicate well with my grandpa, who's living with me now. sometimes dont even speak in a day. =X *9uiLty- yeppx cherish your loved ones and take care~

By Seow Ting, at 9:13 PM